Ripples
by EnuaManu
Summary: The Davis' return home to La Push after many years away in Manoa, has landed them in the middle of change and conflict. Things heat up between Lani and Jacob and then there's no telling what comes next. JacobxOC ExB
1. Chapter 1

"I know it makes sense but I still don't get it." I paused. "Yeah okay, that sounds dumb."

I lay strewn over the Black's old couch in their living room, half watching a football game on TV. Jacob sat next to me, quite obviously avoiding eye contact. I rolled my eyes and shoved a hand full of popcorn into my mouth.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand." He muttered.

I scoffed, aiming a piece of popcorn at his eye. My poor aim did me justice and it hit his neck instead, disappearing into his shirt. I snorted, suppressing the urge to laugh.

"All I'm saying is, I can't believe you were such a girl about the whole thing."

He narrowed his eyes, still avoiding my gaze, and flicked the channel. If he thought it was going to piss me off, he was wrong. I hated American Football anyway. This nation obviously hadn't been exposed to the greatness that was rugby.

"Do we have to talk about this?" He said through gritted teeth. I rolled my eyes again and put the bowl of popcorn on the table, sitting up abruptly.

"I guess not. But you're still a girl."

I didn't even see it coming. His hit to my head with the cushion was lightening fast and my head jerked forward at the force behind the swing. I frowned and aimed a punch at his head. Of course, he dodged with little effort. I stood up abruptly, taking the popcorn with me.

"Your tears are getting old. I'm going over to the Clearwater's."

"Thank god, I thought you'd never leave."

"Well, fuck you very much Mr Black. Don't come crying to me next time she dumps you." I shoved the last of the popcorn into my mouth unceremoniously and stalked out the front door of the Black house, barely able to contain the urge to slam the door. Not that I was really that angry. Jacob had been in this pit of Bella-esque darkness for so long I was beginning to believe this was actually normal.

I didn't remember him being this bad when I was younger. That said, we spent most of our time as most toddlers did – Getting snotty noses and mucking around in the dirt, making badly built huts in the forest and pretending that pirates were planning our doom off shore on invisible boats. Coming back to La Push and seeing him in the pubescent stages of teenage love and longing was marginally sickening. I, Leilani Davis, would never dream of going through such emotions. I was a rock.

Oh, if only the girls in Manoa could hear me now. Being back at La Push was a little bit of refreshing. All the kids that I had known as a child were all grown up and seeing them in their new lives with their new grown up faces and their new friends was a nice change. It emphasised the fact that not only had time moved swiftly but I was also just as grown as they were. It was disorientating thinking about it. All the nostalgia coming back in a sweeping wave and then subsiding just as the tide does, to be replaced by the shore of reality - The reality that I still had to get through High School before I was free of the tribe and family and these small places that I never truly felt comfortable in.

Walking the La Push roads was another wave of nostalgia. This place was like a web, everyone connected in some way, all roads leading to the same places depending on what your destination was. Depending on whether you wanted to be there or not it was both suffocating and comforting. Who wouldn't feel comforted by the fact that everyone knew each other in this small town? Isn't that what anyone ever wanted to feel? Safe?

"Lani! What're you doing here?" Sue Clearwater called to me from her porch and raised a hand to wave.

"Is Seth around? I feel like going for a run." I made my way up the porch steps and collapsed on an old chair that sat over looking her modest yard.

Sue Clearwater, like everyone else, had been close to our family when I was younger. Talking to her was easy as breathing. Her company always felt like family and I never felt unwelcome in her home. My relationship with her kids was much the same as the one that I had with Jacob, though Seth was younger than him and I. I hadn't known Seth as well as Leah when I was younger but since moving back to La Push, I found his company easy. There was nothing bad about Seth. He was a boy containing friendship enough for the whole Peninsula.

"Actually, I think he already left with Leah. They went down to the beach to meet up with the boys I think. If you run, you could catch them. They only left ten minutes ago."

I considered it for a moment. Did I really want to go down and see everyone? I got along with the boys well and Sam and Emily had invited me over to their place for meals many times. I never quite felt like I was in on their easy friendship though. The group of boys, which Jacob was a part of also, didn't scream an exclusive membership but even so, there was always something missing in my connection with them all. I shrugged and stood again.

"I'll just catch up with them later. Might go by myself instead."

Sue smiled at me warmly and nodded. "I'll let them know you dropped by. How's the family? I haven't seen your brother around lately."

I shrugged. My brother, 18 months older than I, hadn't taken to the idea of the move as well as I had. I could understand why too. He'd left his girlfriend of 3 years back in Hawaii and despite their constant arguments, I knew he loved her very much. We'd been close. Until now that is. He had talked mum and dad into letting him go to Forks High instead of the school on the reservation, no doubt to get away from the reminder that he was here and not _there_ anymore. With him went me. Obviously. He made his demands but one thing never changed – Where he went, I went with him. For any other independent teenage girl having a protective brother may have become annoying. I personally couldn't fathom a life without my own brother in my life. If I was a rock, he was the sand, locking me in place, keeping me safe. I hoped he would get over this soon because despite how I may have seemed, I missed Manoa too and I missed my older, normal brother even more.

"They're good. Mum and dad are thinking of doing some renovations to Grandma's place. Ben's been busy with school – Boring really." I shrugged again.

Sue raised an eyebrow at my nonchalance. "Well, tell them to come down for dinner on Saturday. I don't want them to be strangers around here."

I nodded and smiled. "I'll tell them." I turned to leave.

"Before you go, how's Jake holding up?"

Did the whole reservation known about his love sickness? Jacob was my best friend in La Push and I worried over him but in my opinion I thought he was being weak. I doubted he reciprocated my sense of friendship but that aside, when people like Sue Clearwater became worried, I did too. Was it really that bad between him and this Bella person? I couldn't believe it was.

"He's still moping around the house. I wish he'd get over it though. He's bringing everyone down with him." And it was true. He avoided the boys when he could and even Billy had a hard time trying to coax him out of bed. When he wasn't asleep he was eating or out in the middle of the night, "walking". Of course, I went around to annoy him as often as I could. I was a soldier. Only my persistence and I would bother putting up with his bad mood and bitter attitude. Not that I minded, on the rare occasion that Jacob and Bella were talking, it was actually fun hanging out with him.

Sue frowned slightly at my reaction. "Give him some time. He's going through a rough patch."

My eyebrows knitted together. "Is it really that bad between them?"

Sue was quiet for a moment and then nodded. "They were very close. Bella's father is Billy's best friend. They're almost family. Jacob really misses her."

I absorbed that information and nodded my understanding. "I see. I just want him to cheer up that's all. Then I can stop bugging Leah and Seth to hang out with me all the time."

Sue laughed. "You're welcome around here anytime. Plus, I don't think they mind. They like you a lot, you know."

I laughed too. "Well, that's a relief. I wouldn't want you guys chasing me out of town."

Sue looked mocked shocked. "We would never!"

"Sure, sure."

"Oh, one more thing. Thank you for being around Jacob and getting him out of the house sometimes. The boys really appreciate it. Like you said, it's bringing everyone down."

I shrugged non-committal. "It's no problem. Jacob and I are friends from way back. It's kind of fun hearing about all the scandal that's being going on here. Gets me away from my boring life." I laughed. "God knows, I wouldn't mind some adventure."

"Oh, so you want romantic drama eh?"

I made a face at Sue's suggestion and truly meant it. "Not much for teenage angst and heart break myself."

Sue watched me for a moment, a soft smile on her face. The kind of smile my mum used to wear when she was looking at baby photos of Ben and I. "You were the same when you were just a wee one, you know. Always ready to get on board with the big boys – always ready to prove yourself."

I blushed. "Nothing wrong with proving you're just as good as 'the big boys' is there?"

"Of course not. But nothing wrong with admitting you're soft either."

I laughed. "I guess not. Anyway, I better go for this run before it gets dark. See you on Saturday Sue!"

I waved to her as I leaped from the porch and made for the forest. If I loved anything about La Push, it was that idea of family. Sue Clearwater was a small example in a huge ocean of family that gave me a feeling of belonging, albeit fleeting. I had to admit, it was starting to feel like home again.


	2. Chapter 2

I was pretty sure my brother had grown ridiculously fast since we'd gotten back. Not just tall, but muscular as well. My mum's dad had had the same build and my mum had often said her brother had a large build as well. He had died in a car accident not long ago and mum still found it difficult to talk about. Her cousin, Sam Uley, was huge as well. I supposed it was a genetic thing.

As soon as we'd hit Forks High there'd be a legion of girls following him around from class to class. He'd gotten sick of my joking about it and the last time I had uttered a word about the attention being paid to him he hadn't talked to me with the rest of the day. Two months ago I wouldn't have minded but with his increasing distance I'd been a little stung. After all, I was only joking.

Today we drove to school in silence. He'd taken to his school work with an uncanny vehemence saying it was 'that time of the year' and he wanted 'out' as soon as he could get into a college far enough away from my parents and La Push.

I sighed and looked out the window, brooding. I hated it when he got in these moods lately. Whenever we started new schools together it was okay. We were a team. But as soon as we had moved here his brotherly status had been on lock down. I wanted to swear and hit him but there was no point. It'd just sting more when he ignored me for the rest of the week.

He noticed me sigh as he pulled into the parking lot and when he turned of the car he paused. We sat in silence for a moment and he didn't say anything until I began to fidget.

"Look, Lans. I'm sorry about my attitude lately." Well, this was new. He was acknowledging his unnecessary childishness. There was hope after all.

"Don't worry about it. I understand. You left the love of your life behind and you're heart broken. I get it."

He gave me a crooked smile and reached across to muss my hair. "You've been hearing that a lot lately huh?"

I rolled my eyes and reached for my bag, opening the door. "You and Jake should hang out. You'd get along great."

He laughed and followed my lead towards the front of the school. When it came time to part ways to our classes I stopped him. Looking both ways to make sure no one was looking, I hugged my big brother around the waist quickly. I didn't even bother trying to scale his height to wrap my inferior arms around his now extremely broad shoulders. "Just don't forget about me, ok? You may not need me around but I need you."

He grimaced slightly when he saw I was truly upset by his recent attitude and leaned across to kiss my forehead. "I'll make it up to you. We'll go for a surf or something after school. Cool?"

I grinned. "I'll hold you to that!"

I punched him lightly in the arm and made for my own class. The thing with Forks High wasn't so much that it was in the middle of the small town and everyone sat in each other's back pockets, but more that the majority never thought much bigger than Forks. Most of the family's had been here for generations and with that came this bizarre small town mind-set. I knew I was being unfair and I couldn't really talk, living on the reservation, and yet there was something about the town that felt suffocating. I hated that most of them would never want to leave and that even if they did end up outside the state for college, they would all come back again one day. I shook my head at my bitter thoughts and shuffled into English. I had to remember - at least they felt safe.

Moving to a new school hadn't been hard. School in general had never really been hard. Time consuming, definitely, but it wasn't hard. I slipped into the flow of the curriculum with little trouble. The Shakespeare we read in class today was even a little boring. Yet another 4 weeks devoted to pulling apart the love between Romeo and Juliet. Where was the skill in that? There was no rationality in the play. The love that Shakespeare conveyed was that irrational love that writers loved to write about because of that exactly – the irrationality. People loving with that kind of irrationality could do anything they wanted so what was the point trying to pull apart plausibility and reason. Wasn't that the point? To love beyond regard for anyone or anything else?

I sighed and took my frustration out on my Oxford edition instead. I rebelliously folded doggy ears into each page from scene II to scene IV, barely listening to what was being said. I didn't realise I was counting the seconds until Mr Mason announced he was handing out the assignments from last week. I looked up surprised.

He called out names and they went in one ear and out the other until he said one that caught my attention. "Bella Swann?"

A girl on the far side of the classroom raised her hand and Mr Mason strode to her desk to hand her the assignment. "Well done, Bella. Great argument."

I studied her quietly. Could this be the Bella that Jacob was obsessing over? Surely it was. I almost laughed. She'd been in my class for the two weeks and I hadn't even noticed.

I knew that she was the Sheriff's daughter and his last name was definitely Swann. Chief Swann, as everyone called him. She seemed normal to me and yet there was a quiet beauty about her. Her eyes were a deep brown, innocent looking. A very attractive guy next to her held her hand tightly under the desks where they thought Mr Mason wouldn't notice and he looked at her with such an intense longing and love that I myself felt a bit flushed by watching them. That must be guy that Jacob hated so much.

Bella returned his look with equal longing and I saw her gentle squeeze of his hand. It was appalling watching how in love with each other they were. I understood a little of what Jacob found so difficult about accepting this. To have feelings for someone who was so wholly in love with someone else would be enough to break anyone's heart.

The guy, I assumed was Edward Cullen, watched Bella with an intensity that was half way between hunger and passion. I shuddered to think of the kind of pain Jacob had been in these past months. If him and Bella were on and off in the grounds of their friendship I couldn't imagine what kind of to and fro game it was playing his heart.

When the bell rang, I breathed a sigh of relief. Next period was P.E. and I couldn't wait to get some exercise in. The run I'd taken the day before by myself hadn't been near enough to get out my tension. The lack of competition – namely Seth - had turned my alleged run into a brisk jog through the forest and back again. I barely built up a sweat. I enjoyed sport and the opportunity to do it an hour a day every day at school had me sold a little more on Forks High. In Manoa it had been two periods a week. It wasn't nearly enough for me.

"We're on Volleyball today I think." Angela, a good natured girl I hung out with in P.E. was all of a sudden at my side as we entered the locker room.

"Excellent!" I grinned as she watched me, eyebrow raised.

"You're enthusiastic." She said dryly.

"You don't like Volleyball?"

"I wouldn't mind it if I was any good at it."

"I know what you mean." A pained voice said. I hadn't noticed Bella appear on Angela's other side. Angela mirrored her grimace and sighed. "We're in the same boat, trust me."

"You're Leilani?" Bella asked me. I tried to hide the surprise on my face and nodded, leaning across Angela to shake her hand. "Yeah, you're Bella?"

She gave me a forced smile and nodded. "Yeah. You're new right? Everything going okay?"

"Yeah, it's all good. Nice town. Nice people. Couldn't be better." I said distractedly pulling on my P.E. uniform and shoving my other clothes into my bag and into the locker.

I watched Bella in the corner of my eye as she clumsily put her own clothes into her bag and took her time putting it into her locker. She obviously wasn't at all keen to get on the court.

"Yeah. Forks is great." I couldn't tell whether she was being sarcastic or not and decided to ignore it.

"I actually don't know much about Forks, I live down at the reservation." I waited for her reaction and wasn't disappointed.

"You live down at La Push?"

Angela's eyebrows knitted together and she looked between us, suspicious of the surprise in Bella's voice. I smiled hesitantly and shrugged, tying my shoes. "Yeah, I grew up there actually but my parents moved us to Hawaii when I was 7. First time back in a long time."

She was staring at me and I couldn't help but laugh. Better to do her a favour and put her mind at ease rather than have her faint. There was something very fragile about Bella Swann and I didn't want to be the one responsible for breaking her with anxiety alone.

"You know Jacob right? He's mentioned you a few times." A few thousand times.

"Yeah. He's a good friend. He hasn't mentioned you though." I shrugged and tried to ignore the sting. I had been right about him not quite feeling the same friendship towards me. I tried to consol myself by reminding myself that he was a heartbroken boy, pining for this princess in front of me.

"Other things on his mind." I saw hurt flick across her face. I sighed internally and smiled again, moving past a lost Angela and moving into the gym. "Come on, let's play!"

I laughed as I heard both girls groan. I had to admit, I'd been pleasantly surprised by this Bella person who'd often been a blank question mark in my head. Besides her physical fragility there was a smouldering strength in her deep brown eyes that to the passer by would be elusive and yet it struck me. It felt almost rude to be talking to her knowing that Jacob was still nursing his shattered heart back at La Push but then why did it matter to me? I wasn't involved in their love triangle. If anything I was just an innocent bystander. Besides, she seemed nice enough to me – her and Angela both. They were the only ones I'd met so far at Forks High that hadn't come across as fake. It also may have been because they were the only two that didn't start immediately swooning over my brother who played basketball on the far court. I sighed and hung at the back of our group, trying not to become embarrassed.

I watched Ben on the far court, tight lipped, trying to ignore the obvious whispering. A couple of the boys joked with him about it and he threw them his most withering glare. I suppressed the urge to giggle. That was my big bro.

I sighed as we were split into teams and told to move towards our nets. Hopefully he wouldn't still be in a bad mood by the time we got to the beach this afternoon. I was sick of this person that used to be my big brother.


	3. Chapter 3

"Maybe we could hang out sometime? If you're down at La Push, I'll see anyway right?"

I suppressed the urge to look at Bella in surprise and nodded instead, plastering a smile onto my face. "Yeah, that sounds... really nice." It actually did. Maybe with Bella around Jacob would be more human instead of being dead to the world.

It was the end of the day and we walked idly to the parking lot. "Do you need a ride or anything?" Seeing as we seemed to be friends now I didn't see the harm.

"Oh, no... thanks. I've got a ride. Edward's around here somewhere." She avoided my gaze. Was this always what it was like in this town? Did she just assume that I was already on Jacob's side with her boyfriend on the other?

"Is that your boyfriend?" She looked at me closely, studying my face as if looking for deviation. I looked back innocently and she seemed to accept that.

"Yeah. He's over there, come on. I'll introduce you." I thought I heard her mutter something about 'I wonder if he told her' and then we were approaching a very expensive Volvo. I let out a low whistle as we approached, looking the car over. I didn't know a lot about them but I knew that this one was nice – and expensive. I liked speed and that one definitely looked like it could put some distance between A and B.

Bella moved straight into Edward's arms and I was immediately taken back by the intensity in their relationship – Again. He kissed her lightly and I felt like I had to avert my eyes for such an intimate moment. Up close, I realised he really was beautiful. Bronze hair framed his perfectly chiselled features, his posture showing physical prowess and near perfect posture. When I met his eyes they appraised me quietly and I pushed down the urge to blush and look away.

"Edward this is Lani. Lani, Edward." I was about to extend my hand when he flashed a luminous smile.

"It's nice to meet you." I retracted my hand and kept it clenched into a fist tightly at my side.

"You too."

"Lani lives down at the reservation. She knows Jacob." The explanation fell out of Bella's mouth in a rush and I watched Edward's reaction. His eyes immediately hardened and I thought I saw him stiffen ever so slightly around Bella. I smiled weakly and shrugged, "We go way back. Family friends, that kind of thing."

"Lani!" I turned to see Ben striding swiftly towards me. I watched his form move quickly across the parking lot and was struck again by how big he was. I'm sure he had been an inch shorter yesterday. His shirt now seemed to sit on him in an uncomfortable way, his chest and shoulders filling out every possible space inside it.

"Bro! Come over and meet Bella and Edward."

As he came closer I noticed the scowl on his face and swallowed. Better to make this a quick introduction.

"Ben, this is Bella and Edward. Guys, this is my brother Ben. They're friends of Jacobs." The look he gave me said the obvious. 'I know exactly who these guys are'. He didn't make a move to shake Edward's hand but was able to spare an apologetic smile at Bella.

"Hey guys. Really sorry but I need to whisk my little sister away." I frowned slightly and looked past his shoulder to see two girls moving swiftly in our direction. Realisation hit and I also managed to put an apologetic expression on my face.

"Sorry Bella, let's catch up this weekend or something. Maybe Jacob can come? It was nice to meet you Edward!" They both shared an amused glance and waved.

By the time we got in the car, Ben was already pulling out of the parking lot at dangerous speeds. I rolled my eyes and flicked through a CD wallet he had in his glove box and shoved in a CD at random. Bass pumped out of the stereo and I let the buzz from the shaking car frame lull me into a nap. When I awoke, we were parked safely in our driveway.

"Get up sleepy head, let's get our boards before the tide goes out."

I yawned and half crawled out of the passengers seat and into the house. Mum and dad weren't home yet and I trudged around the house grabbing an apple off the dining table before making my way back outside again. The surfboards were already strapped to the roof and my wet suit lay on the hood of my brother's old school corolla.

"What's the rush?" I mumbled in between bites.

Ben was stooped halfway into his car, rummaging in the back seat for something elusive. "No rush. I told you, we need to catch the tide."

I looked at him suspiciously and waited for him to get out of the car and look at me. He noticed and turned to me, indignant. "What's that look for?"

I raised an eyebrow and took another bite of my apple. I could see that he was getting impatient and I hoped to distract him for just a moment longer. Maybe he would tell me what all the fuss was about. I couldn't get my head around his weird moods and it was time he confessed.

"What? Are you afraid those girls are going to follow you home?"

He frowned and walked around to the drivers door muttering about 'wouldn't be the first time' and promptly ignored me as I took my time getting my wet suit off the bonnet and getting into the passengers seat.

By the time we reached the beach we were back to our old selves joking and challenging each other to stupid competitions. First person to get into their wetsuit, first person to get to the tide, first person to catch a wave, last person on their board – it went on and on. And the best thing was it was fun. It was the most fun I'd had since getting to La Push. Besides a couple of running competitions I'd managed to get out of Jacob which were too fleeting to really count unless you added them together.

The water was just the right temperature as we paddled out and I watched Ben's arms dip into the surf with disturbing agility. My brother and I had always been sport inclined but I knew beyond a doubt that I wasn't imagining his new and improved agile prowess. He was definitely bigger than he was a week ago. I'd have to remind myself to talk to mum and dad about it later on.

Mum and dad always talked about how inseparable we were. Some people had even thought we were twins. There's no way they'd think that now after Ben's exponential growth but I could see why people had often mistaken us for twins. Our features were uncannily similar – the same deep green eyes and olive skin. Unlike the rest of the kids on the reservation our hair fell in soft curls, though dark like everyone else. The curls and eyes were enough for anyone to tell the resemblance between us. But more than that, even our mannerisms were the same. Our laughs held the same melodies and even our tricks in sport mirrored each other. Sometimes we were so similar that we were often tied in the competitions we had between each other. It used to get so bad between us because we were so even that neither of us could win and we'd go days without talking each other. It never lasted though. It couldn't. Ben and I were almost one person sometimes. I almost laughed at the thought.

As I say on my board watching the tide for the next wave I saw something fall in my peripheral. As I looked to the side, I saw a body hurtling into the water that lay lapping dangerously close to the cliff face. I gasped. When I looked up, a group of half naked men stood at the top of the cliff, ready to make the same jump. I watched frozen.

Ben was next to me a second, having noticed my gaze. "What are they doing?! It's freezing in this water. They'll get hurt."

Nothing needed to be said as we paddled to shore. Were they crazy? Not only was the water cold but the drop was suicide! By the time we had made it to shore, two more had jumped from the cliff in a hurtling dive into the dark water that sat at the bottom. The men jumping fell gracefully, seeming to aim in a precise point in the ocean. I watched horrified.

As we dumped our boards on the beach, we sprinted to the cliff, expecting to see spluttering barely alive men, floating in the water. My breath gave out when I saw Embry and Jacob laughing together on the sand. They wore only shorts, their heavily muscled torsos glistening as the sun peaked through the clouds now and then. Their muscles rippled as their bodies shuddered with their laughter.

"What are you guys doing?! It's freezing in that water!" Ben was shouting before we'd reached them. He seemed livid. Jacob caught my eye and I saw him raise his hand in a wave. Embry grinned.

"Are you guys insane?!" Ben had started to shake and I frowned slightly, putting a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "Hey, calm down. They're okay. Look?"

"It's not the point! They could have been killed, Lani!" He was glancing quickly between me and Jacob and Embry, unable to control his frustration. My frowned deepened. This wasn't like him at all, what was going on? There was no reason for him to be so upset.

When I looked to Jacob and Embry they were wearing the same expression as mine. As they moved closer, Ben had his teeth clenched, fists held tightly at his side. "Ben? What's wrong?" I reached up to wipe his wet curls away from his forehead. His skinned burned underneath my hand.

"Is he ok?" Jacob frowned slightly when he saw me pull my hand back abruptly.

"He's fine. I think he's sick, he's burning up. Think he just needs to get home and have a hot shower." Jacob shared a stealthy look with Embry.

"Here, we'll help."

I frowned slightly and took Ben's hand. He had his eyes closed now and the shaking seemed to calm down. His hand still burned hot though and I nodded, unsure, at Jacob. "Alright. I'll get him back to the car. Can you grab the boards for me? I don't think I should leave him."

They both nodded and moved quickly to other side of the beach as I tugged Ben to the car. "Come on, ya dork." I mumbled. He smiled weakly at me.

"Sorry sis, I don't know what came over me. I'm not feeling too great though."

I looked at him worriedly and hurried the pace to the car. "It's okay. Come on, let's go home before you get worse. You need to lie down."

When the boards were on the car and I had Ben locked into the passengers side, his eyes closed and sweating, I quickly made my way to the drivers side. Jacob put a hand on my shoulder as I moved to get in the car and I suppressed to the urge to shake him off.

"Sorry, Jacob. I need to get him home. He doesn't look too good."

He looked between Ben and I and he seemed to be battling with himself over something. I hadn't forgotten that he was still shirtless and wet. I swallowed and refused to stare at his chest or his abdomen... I shook my head. "Shouldn't you get changed? You're going to get sick soon too if you're not careful."

He grinned. "Trust me. You know need to worry about me." His expression abruptly changed to one of worry and was that guilt? "Your brother on the other hand..."

I looked at Ben and he was clearly unconscious by this stage. Had it really been that cold out there? If it was, why was I fine? Perhaps he needed to see a doctor.

"Maybe I should take him to the hospital instead." I wandered aloud. Jacob flinched noticeably at my side.

"Look, why don't you bring him to my place. My dad will know what's up with him. Plus, we've got a good call doctor that can come out."

I frowned slightly. "I don't know... I should take him home."

"Please, Lans. Trust me." His brown eyes stared into mine and I'd said yes without even realising it. How did he do that? He somehow managed to talk the car keys out of my hand as well and then we were speeding toward his place, me in the backseat. What on earth was going on? Ben's temperature was blazing hotter by the second and his bizarre reaction at the beach had been so out of the blue. I had never seen my brother like this and I watched him worriedly from the backseat.

I was even more curious to find out what Jacob had been doing at the top of the cliff with the boys. I'd heard about cliff diving but they were far too young to be doing that sort of thing. Is that what their secret club connection was about? Cliff diving and laughing in the face of death? And what did they know about Ben?

I was suspicious about the looks Embry and Jake had shared while on the beach. Ben's come down with sickness can't have been natural if I was okay and especially if Jacob and Embry could barely feeling the cold sting of the ocean. Things were getting weird and after I took care of Ben, I would find out the truth from Jacob.


	4. Chapter 4

"You need to tell me what's going on." He wouldn't look at me and my frustration built. As soon as we had arrived at the Black's house, Billy was waiting for us on the front porch.

Embry carried Ben into the lounge and I had been promptly locked out. A stream of people had made their way to the Black house, no one questioning their entrance. I had demanded that Jacob talk to me outside and he'd followed half heartedly.

We now sat on the beach – Jacob glaring out at the darkening ocean and me glaring at him.

"You can't just take my brother and not expect me to ask what's going on. What am I going to tell my parents?" I had trusted him just like he asked and now I expected something in return. Preferably, the truth.

He sighed and continued to avoid my gaze. "It's not for me to tell you. And... I'm sorry."

I blinked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He shook his head and finally looked at me. His gaze gave away a hint of sadness and an apologetic sentiment but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to know what was going on. I was past the suspicion that this was a normal kind of illness and everyone seemed to know more than I did. It was aggravating. The anger built some more.

"It's not for me to tell you. You shouldn't have had to see him like that. I'm sorry."

I gritted my teeth and my eyes narrowed. "Stop saying sorry. It doesn't mean anything to me when I don't even know what you're really apologising for."

I stood up abruptly and began to pace on the shore in front of him. I wouldn't leave until he told me what I needed to know.

"Lani," he paused and sighed again. "Please sit down."

I ignored him and continued my restless pacing. "Tell me, Jacob. Or I swear, I'll –"

"You'll what?" He wore a patronising grin now. "_Make_ me tell you?"

"You're not funny Jacob. I thought we were friends. I thought friends told each other the truth." I mentally winced at how pathetic I sounded but I had to try every angle. If our friendship meant nothing then I had nothing to lose.

He watched me for a moment and seemed to consider something. "I am telling you the truth. But I can't tell you if it's not my secret to tell you."

I rolled my eyes and picked up a rock, throwing it angrily into the approaching waves. It disappeared into the darkness and I clenched my fists at my side. I spoke slowly, "I don't know what you think I am, but I'm not stupid. If you guys want to go jumping off cliffs for kicks then that's your business, but if you think taking care of my brother is going to gain you brownie points so that he joins your little freak club, then you're mistaken. Ben isn't that stupid. I love my brother and if any of you people, hurt him –"

He was angry now as he cut me off, "Oh, get over yourself Lani. You know nothing about us. You can't come back here after years away and expect to waltz into everyone's lives and have them accept you. You're not one of us. Ben can do what he wants and contrary to your wack beliefs, we _are_ trying to help him."

I hadn't even realised I was making that assumption until I'd said it out loud. What was I thinking? I didn't know anything about them and I had no idea why they'd decided to cliff dive. In fact, why was it any of my business? They could do what they wanted. They had shown little interest in my brother so why I had drawn a connection between his sickness and them wanting them to join whatever little club they had for themselves, I had no idea. I was really putting my foot in it. I felt deflated and my anger had abruptly disappeared.

I collapsed on the ground next to him and sighed. "I'm sorry," I murmured. I heard him sigh as well next to me and I ran my hands over the rocks idly.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I'm just worried about him that's all. He's my brother. I just want to know that he's going to be okay. He hasn't been himself lately, it's weird. I know that this weird illness he's come down with has something to do with it." I was mumbling mostly to myself, unaware of what Jacob was really thinking next to me.

He felt him snake his arm around my shoulder to give me a quick squeeze. I shuddered when I felt the fire of warmth from his skin and I saw him flinch in my peripheral, pulling away abruptly.

"Sorry-"

I was staring at him now. "Your skin..." I didn't know what else to say. He felt exactly like Ben when I had touched his forehead. What was going on?

"The heat... It's the same as... What... How..."

"I can't tell you. Please, Lani. Let this go. I promise you, Ben will be okay. But you need to be patient." He was looking at me now, pleading with his gaze alone, for me to try and understand. To accept what he was asking of me.

I wrapped my arms around my legs and stared at the ground, trying not to shake. "Tell me why I should trust you."

One of his large, hot hands rested on my shoulder and shuddered again involuntarily. "Because I'm your friend and I'm asking you – begging you – to do this for me. For Ben."

I frowned slightly, turning to look at him. He was close to me now and the heat coming from his body was making me feel flustered. He was watching me closely now, a bizarre look on his face as he studied me. I pulled away from his touch, hoping not to offend him. The warmth was making me feel uncomfortable and I needed the cool air from the ocean to help me focus.

"I can do that."

He let out a sigh of relief and smiled, his white teeth glinting in the darkness. "Thank you, Lans."

I stood up. "That doesn't mean I don't want the truth. I'll find out what it is, Jacob. If you won't tell me then I'll find someone who will."

He looked saddened as he stood as well. We walked side by side back to the Black house in silence. I inched closer to him without realising, letting the heat wash over me again. I realised the uncomfortable feeling was the heat engulfing me, embracing my body in warmth and... safety. What was this secret that Jacob couldn't tell me? I didn't care so much about the secret then but more about Ben. I was his little sister. It was his job to make sure I was safe. How had that role been inverted? I sighed again. Perhaps it was time that I talked to Bella. If anyone would know Jacob's secret, it'd be her.


	5. Chapter 5

Billy only let me see Ben for ten minutes before ushering me out. I tried to debate it with him but Sam entered the room then and his hard gaze frightened me into accepting Billy's request. Sam had followed me out onto the porch and asked that I tell my parents that Ben was going away with the boys for the weekend. It wasn't a good enough excuse and I argued with him for a while before he unleashed his no non-sense look again and I was silenced into uneasy submission.

By the time I got home, mum and dad were in bed – a note left on the table.

_Kids,_

_Where have you been? There's dinner in the oven for you when you get in. An explanation in the morning please._

_xxx_

I sighed and scrawled a note in reply. I'd have to be quick in the morning. If I got up early enough and was out the door and to school I wouldn't have to answer anymore questions.

_Mum + Dad,_

_Ended up down at the Black's for dinner. Ben's been invited with them camping for the weekend. He's staying there the night to help prep their camping gear and then he's going to go with them straight after school tomorrow. Billy said he'd call you in the morning to let you know everything was alright. Sorry about missing dinner. See you after school,_

_Lans x_

I slept uneasily that night. Dark shadows and animalistic noises haunted my dreams and I awoke early in the morning feeling shaken. As soon as my eyes opened I began to worry about Ben again. I debated going around to the Black's house before going to school but knew that if I turned up I would only be turned away again. It was infuriating not knowing what was going on. Before falling asleep the night before, I'd laid awake in bed going over what I did know about Sam and everyone else.

Family connections were common in La Push. Just like our legends, all the tribes people were interconnected in some shape or form. I began to feel more unnerved when my realisation of the similar stature of the La Push boys punched into the forefront of my mind. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before. Remembering the muscular bodies of Embry and Jacob on the shore and then thinking about Ben's new hulking mass sent shudders down my spine as I realised the similarities. And the heat...

When I drove my brother's car into the car park of Forks High, I noticed the shiny Volvo on the other side of the parking lot. I pulled in next to it as I spotted Edward, Bella and another striking girl getting out of the car.

"Leilani, hello." Bella smiled at me and I returned it nervously.

The girl that stood next to Edward was watching me closely. I couldn't have called it hostile and yet she seemed slightly uncomfortable. She was obviously not Edward's relation and yet there was something that gave them a whisp of the same pedigree. Her eyes were a striking topaz and she held the physical posture as Edward. Her short spiky hair was perfectly styled and the way she stood next to Bella with the same protective stance was a little intimidating. There was no doubt about it – She was just as beautiful as Edward. I blinked, pulling my gaze away from her.

"Hey. Bella, Edward, how are you doing?"

Edward smiled slightly, nodding in my direction. "Good. Lani, this is my sister Alice." I stepped forward, offering my hand to shake. Alice looked at it for a moment, as if debating whether she would shake it or not, and then put her hand in mind.

The cold was a shock. I flinched and smiled nervously. "Hi, nice to meet you.'

My mind flew at a hundred miles an hour. What was with this town? Jacob and Ben and their heat and now these beautiful people with their cold hands – it was all so... weird

"I've heard so much about you. It's nice to meet you finally." Alice smiled and revealed pearly perfect teeth. I swallowed. I'd only met them yesterday. Did that mean they'd been talking about me? I fidgeted nervously.

I felt Bella watching me in my peripheral and turned to her. "Actually, Bella now that I have you I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute."

Edward stiffened at her side. Bella looked up at him quietly and leaned up to kiss his cheek gently. "It's okay, I won't be long."

I resisted the urge to look at them surprised. Was he seriously concerned about her safety with me? "Um, thanks. Won't be long, promise."

Bella smiled encouragingly and followed me as we moved ahead of Edward and Alice. We found damp seats in the quad and I gestured for her to sit. "What's up? Is everything okay? You seem on edge this morning." Bella studied me quietly.

Did I? I hadn't taken much notice of how I'd looked this morning. All I'd remembered since waking up was the overwhelming urge to get in the car and get to Forks High so I could find her.

"Actually, it's about my brother. This is all going to sound really strange and I just ask that you be patient with me. I know we don't each other very well but you're the only one I know that can help me."

She was frowning now. I assumed she must have been confused and yet she watched me the same way that Alice had been watching me moments before. I noticed her clenched hands in her lap and she never tore her gaze away from mine. I swallowed nervously. If she couldn't help me, then no one could.

"I know that you're close with Jacob and if anyone would know anything about his secrets then it'd be you. Before you think I'm weird, my brother came down with this bizarre... illness, I guess, yesterday. He's at the Black's place now. I'm really worried about him and everyone down at La Push seems to know what's going on and won't tell me. I tried talking to Jacob and we argued about it but – he won't tell me anything. He assures me that everything's going to be okay and that's all well and good but I just want my brother to be safe." My voice was pleading now, saturated with desperation.

"I don't know them all that well. I'm not close to them like Leah is. Maybe it's not that I'm a girl and it's something else but do you know anything? I know I'm putting you on the spot but if you know _why_ they're so concerned about keeping my brother at Billy's then please, _please_, you have to tell me."

I hadn't realised I'd been speaking so fast and I was almost panting when I finally stopped talking. It had all fallen out, all my overnight worries and anxieties. I looked at Bella now and she looked pained. She seemed frozen and she looked away quickly, staring down at her clenched hands.

"Please," my voice came out in almost a whisper. She knew something.

"You don't need to worry about your brother," she said quietly. She never looked up. "I don't know how close you are with Jacob," There seemed to be a hint of something else in her voice as she said that and I became uncomfortable. Whatever she thought was going on, it wasn't like _that_. "But you need to trust him. He would never hurt anyone. If I tell you to give them a week, even just the weekend, could you do that? I know I'm not saying what you want to hear but it's the best I can do."

I frowned. She was side stepping me as well. It was obvious no one trusted me around here. I felt alone all of a sudden. Not even Ben was here to be on my side, to have _my _back.

"I don't have a choice, Bella. Can't you give me anything else?"

She seemed to debate something with herself. She looked around the empty quad and leaned forward. "Look, Lani, Forks and La Push are home to some very... interesting people. They're not dangerous and they won't hurt Ben. I... think... that when Ben comes through this 'illness' he has you'll know everything you need. If you don't believe Jacob when he asks you to be patient, then please believe me. Trust me, I know how you feel not knowing what's going on but give it time. You'll know when the time is right."

She was the one whispering desperately now, willing me, just like Jacob the night before, to understand. To just _try_ to be patient. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, closing my eyes. When I opened them, Bella was gazing at me with the same sad look that Jake had had the night before. Boy, these two were exactly the same.

"Okay," I said quietly.

If Bella _and_ Jacob had asked me to be patient I could at least try. I'd give it the weekend and if nothing had changed then I could pick up this investigation where I'd left off.

Bella smiled slightly and leaned forward to embrace me in a brief hug. I was surprised at first but the loneliness had successfully settled in and I returned the hug for lack of my brother.

"Thank you." I whispered.

Bella pulled back and studied me closely for a moment. "Thank _you."_

Her words surprised me. "Why me?"

She smiled slightly and shrugged, standing. "For trusting me."

I didn't think twice of the comment until I tuned out in English period. So Bella knew. And that meant that Edward did too. I couldn't believe that they'd keep anything from each other and with the way that Alice had watched me in so similar a way to Bella, she must know some part of this secret too. I rubbed my eyes and focused on folding more doggy ears into my Oxford edition. As soon as school was out I was going to see Ben. If I was with him then I would know everything would be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

I drove straight to the Black's house after school. I would deal with mum and dad's questions later, my burning urge to see Ben okay and healthy overwhelming everything else. When I pulled up there was another expensive car I didn't recognise parked outside. I wondered about who the owner could be but quickly forgot when I reached the front door. I didn't bother to knock and strode quickly into the living room where I heard voices.

Billy sat in his wheel chair next to Ben's head, who lay outstretched and asleep across the Black's old couch. Sam stood with Jacob behind the couch, arms folded. I raised an eyebrow at their shirtless torsos and chose to ignore the awkwardness. It was freezing outside but they seemed to feel nothing. I shuddered at the thought.

When I noticed the owner of the car outside, I think I must have taken an involuntary step backward. His beauty, for that was all it could be called, floored me. It would have been literally if Jacob hadn't quickly stepped over to me, laying a steadying hand on my shoulder. Carlisle Cullen smiled at me when he noticed my enquiring gaze and I coloured immediately. I was hardly surprised at all that he was Edward's father. His attractive good looks were so otherworldly I found myself blinking a lot when I gazed at him. He introduced himself with a reassuring smile and then knelt next to my brother, seeming to take his temperature.

It was a while before I was able to speak. When he finished doctor duty, I was on my knees next to Ben in a heart beat. He stirred slightly as I ran a worried hand over his forehead and he murmured something I couldn't quite catch. I was shocked that his fever still remained and when I looked at the doctor with concern he was quick to give me his reassuring smile again. Had it been anyone else I would have frowned and fired questions at him immediately. His smile disarmed me completely though and I'd forgotten any questions I had by the time he turned away to pack his "doctorly" instruments away into his very expensive looking medicine bag.

I felt Ben shift slightly under my hand and watched him worriedly. "Ben? Bro? It's Lani – How are you feeling?" My voice was almost a whisper.

He swallowed thickly and his eyes fluttered open with great effort. "Lans? What's going on?"

"Ssh, you've been at the Black's since yesterday. I was so worried about you."

His expressions were wound down to slow motion and I saw him trying to calculate what had happened through the haze of fatigue. I continued to stroke his brow and picked up a cold flannel that someone had put on the floor in a container of ice cold water. I rung it out and wiped his face gently.

"I had the most bizarre dream. I thought I was out in the forest."

Billy coughed next to me and I looked up to see Sam watching Ben warily. I frowned, my anger from yesterday returning in a crashing wave. I spoke to Ben quietly and sat next to him until he fell back into an uneasy sleep. When I was sure he was okay, I looked at the men gathered in the room and stood.

"_Please_ – come outside." I said stiffly. Sam looked unimpressed and I heard Billy sigh. Jacob had reappeared at my side after disappearing into the kitchen and Carlisle only looked intrigued. When all the men were outside Carlisle paused.

"I don't believe you need me for this talk. I'll be back this evening to check on Ben. He should be fine though. You know what to do, Sam." Sam only nodded and Carlisle left in a sweeping and majestic fashion. I was too tense to bother asking them about Dr. Cullen – It could be saved for later.

Before I could say anything, Sam spoke.

"I don't think this is the right place to have this conversation Leilani."

"I don't give a shit," I snapped. Billy frowned at my bad language but I didn't care. "I want the truth."

Jacob sighed next to me and I jerked away from his comforting hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes again, they were waiting expectedly.

"I'm going to give you guys the weekend to fix my brother and bring him back to me in perfect condition. If he comes back to me in less than perfect condition I'm telling my mum and dad everything." I said it slow and deliberately, accenting every word, spitting them out.

My hands were shaking at my sides and I felt the anger at boiling point. I continued to battle with my breathing until I felt at least in some part control of myself and I grasped my hands together. I felt heat radiate throughout my body and I felt high on the feeling of my adrenaline and anger.

All three were staring at me now and it only contributed to my adrenaline, as I began to feel nervous under their gaze. "I'm going for a run and I've got homework to do but I'll be back this evening to check on him. Don't try and stop me either." I glared at Sam who continued to watch me warily.

I moved to get into Ben's car when I felt Jacob's burning touch on my shoulder. Before I could jerk my shoulder away again he squeezed more tightly and I was captured in an iron grip. When he turned me around to look at him his deep brown eyes seared into my green ones. "I'm coming with you."

"What? Why?!" I spat out.

"You're the one always bugging me to hang out with you." He was suddenly back in his good mood persona, reserved for when him and Bella were talking. I was immediately suspicious. He was giving me his patronising grin again but I thought I saw a hint of something else. Was that worry? Fear? No, surely not fear.

Before I could react he had snatched the keys out of my hand and turned back to the house, yelling over his shoulder. "Give me a second, I'll just grab a shirt!"

I gritted my teeth and got into the passenger side, slamming the door shut. I wasn't as angry as I had been before but my hands continued to shake and I had to focus on my breathing again. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something to calm me but the sudden urge to run overwhelmed me. All I could think of doing was going to the forest and moving through it with _speed_.

When Jacob opened the door I jumped in fright and he laughed. "You're such a pain, man." I thought I'd muttered it quietly but his laugh killed that thought. I sighed and frowned as he drove back my house.

Jacob not only grabbed his shirt but a pile of books for homework. When we got back to my own house, mum and dad were still not home for work and we spread our books over the dining table and got to work. We were back to our joking selves and I started to feel at ease again. Jacob was a poor substitute for my brother but he made up for some of the loneliness I had been feeling. When he casually asked about school I caught myself. I debated with myself over telling him I had met Bella and sighed internally. He was going to find out eventually.

"I met your friend, Bella." I said quietly.

He froze. "And?"

I shrugged. "And that's it. She's really cool. I like her. I see why you guys are tight."

He blinked and seemed to stare off into space for a moment. "Yeah, she's cool."

I doodled down the side of my biology text book and rolled my eyes. Great, we were back to "depressed Jake". Here I was thinking he was almost over it. I started to miss my brother even more.

"Yo!" I clicked my fingers in front of his face impatiently. "You're not going to cry are you?" I grinned up at him jokingly but was shocked when I realised he was actually angry.

"Why do you do that? Joke about shit you don't know anything about?" He snapped.

I blinked and then the anger returned. It was more intense this time, spreading quickly to my limbs, an ebb and flow of heat from my fingers and toes and back into my chest and stomach. My breathing picked up again and I felt the adrenaline start to pump through me.

"You're a nut job when you're like this, Jake. I know you've heard it from everyone else but I'm telling you again – Get over it." My words felt hot and I spat them at him, hoping they would burn through his thick skull.

He was on his feet suddenly towering over me and I saw his fists clench. I suppose I should have been scared but I felt defiant. I stood as well, grinning maliciously into his face.

"Angry, Jake? Pissed off? Good. Cause I am too."

"Step off, Lani. Seriously." He said slowly. The anger burned in his eyes.

My grin turned into a smile and I folded my arms. "Make me."

His eyes narrowed and I saw him flex his arms. "I'll make you a deal. You out run me on the forest track and I'll never bring up Bella again. I won't even talk to her again at school."

My heart was soaring. This was what I had been waiting for since we'd left the Black's. The thought of the competition exhilarated me. I noticed I'd begun to shake again and the heat inside felt like it was radiating off my arms. The adrenaline was sort of... delightful. I wanted to do something dangerous and I wanted to do it now.

Jake was scowling severely, obviously angry. It only excited me for the run even more. "You're on. _When_ I win, you'll grow up and leave this shit alone. No more talking to or about, Bella. Get it?" He was snarling in my face and I flinched only slightly, feeling my hands shaking against my legs.

"You're going to have to win first, Jacob." I should have been intimidated by his smug expression, his posture exuding confidence but I wasn't. I would fly through the forest and leave him in my dust!

When we got outside, Jacob had somehow discarded his shirt without my notice. I leant down to untie my shoelaces.

"What are you doing?" Jacob's voice was only curious now.

"Taking off my shoes." I snorted.

"Yeah, but why?"

I laughed. "I run better when I can feel the earth beneath my feet."

He raised an eyebrow at me but said nothing more. I rolled up my jeans and took off the sweatshirt I had been wearing. I reached up to tie my unruly hair tightly and struggled to keep my hands still as I twisted my hair-tie around my messy pony tail. I quickly braided my hair and tied it off at the end.

"On my mark?" I grinned over at him.

He smirked back at me. "No way. We count together so no one cheats. Go, on 3. Ready?"

I jumped on the spot and shook out my shoulders. There was so much energy in me, I felt like I would burst apart. I could feel the heat waiting to get out of me and all I wanted was the speed.

3...2...1...Go!

And now I was flying. My feet pounding into the earth, I was soaring. I paid little attention to Jacob and by the time we reached the edge of the forest I'd forgotten about him completely. I spotted the path and took off, giving myself over to the heat that ached to leave my body in a burst of speed. I felt the air brush past my ears, into my hair, down to my roots and across the surface of my skull. I felt like I could hear ever part of the forest – Did tranquillity have a sound? If so, it was beautiful.

My arms pumped at my sides and I willed my legs to move faster underneath me. I was sure I could hear the beating of a birds wings trying to clear the canopy above, was positive that I could hear the light foot steps of deer in the distance, could even feel the vibrations of a wolf hitting the ground far far away. The heat in me was building and I knew soon it would burst forth. In that instant I knew beyond any doubt that when the heat finally did free itself, I would be unstoppable. This was what I wanted. I wanted to be free of it.

When it happened, it happened fast. In an instant I was on two legs, flying through the forest and in the next? I was _literally_ flying. I felt like I was being split open, the heat tearing through flesh and leaving me a discarded mangle of flesh but it never got to that point. Before I'd even fully realised what was happening I was being pulled back into my body again. No, _a _body.

Before the panic could settle in fully I saw the forest floor fall away and then I was gliding unsteadily through spruce trees. It was like a dream. I stretched my arms wide, unsure of why I felt the air touch much more of my body than it would were I human. I think I must have stopped breathing for moment when I realised that was really outstretched on either side of me were in fact, the large wings of an owl. But I was huge. The experience had quickly turned into a nightmare.

And then the panic hit. The ground came closer in an instant. I felt the heat in me react and again it was pulsing through my heart and stomach. It hadn't left me! If the heat had done this me then perhaps it would break my fall. I was positive I would die if I continued on the downward spiral. I turned my panic into willpower alone and_ willed_ the heat to save me. Later, when I looked back on this, I would realise how stupid I would have sounded to anyone that could hear me.

I expected the impact to come, I was waiting for it but suddenly I was safely on the ground. I recognised the deep ragged breathing as my own but it sounded strange. This wasn't what I usually sounded like when I was breathing. When I opened my eyes, I took a double take, staring down at paws that could only have been mine. The whimpering sound I heard also could be no one but me and then the panic came in an onslaught one more time. This time I couldn't control it with the heat. The heat had left me.

And then there were the voices. Voices I was sure I recognised.

_Lani, calm down. We're coming._

Who was that? Was that Sam? I didn't care anymore. The energy had left me and I felt faint. And then everything went black.


	7. Chapter 7

They were dreams half between nightmares and euphoria. I travelled through the forest but I wasn't only myself – I was the earth, the trees, the sky. I saw every part of it. Nothing was hidden from me. Every one of my senses were alert to the forests _life_. I could _feel_ it with every part of myself. The heat kept me company the whole time.

I must have dipped in and out of consciousness, hearing muttered voices that I was sure belonged to Jacob and Sam. They argued about something I couldn't quite discern. I thought maybe I should have been worried that everything felt so vague but I wasn't. This was beautiful. The warmth was the sweetest embrace I had ever had and the feeling in my limbs was like electricity. My body felt like it buzzed with something I couldn't name.

The dreams stopped all too soon when I felt someone putting something cold on my face. I shivered. I didn't want the cold. I wanted the heat, the _magic, _filling me completely.

When I finally did awaken something was shining in my face. Were these people trying to blind me? I frowned and tried to turn away. I felt hands grasp my face and hold my head still. I blinked profusely trying to get away from the light. When I finally opened my eyes, the face of Carlisle Cullen filled my vision. I blinked some more.

"Leilani? How do you feel?" His musical voice hurt my ears and what was that awful odour?

The face of my brother appeared next to him and I frowned again, slightly. Was he cured? He wore no shirt and sported a muscled body he had not had a week ago. Dr. Cullen moved away quickly and laid a reassuring hand on Ben's shoulder. As he moved away the stench lessened and I took a deep breath. I croaked a reply and tried to sit up.

"Ben? What's going on?"

He leaned down and gently pushed me back onto the Black's couch. The Black's? Man, I'd been spending a lot of time at their place lately.

"Shush, we'll explain everything when you get some more rest."

He looked worried and I had the sudden urge to hug him. I felt tears sting my eyes and he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"Mum and dad are having dinner with the Clearwater's. Sue's going to explain everything."

But explain what? What had happened? The last thing I had remembered was Jake and I fighting and then running through the forest and then... The rest must have been a dream. It couldn't possibly have been real. I lost myself in my thoughts and the sound of Ben's voices floated back into nothingness as sleep took me again.

* * *

When I woke up again, I rolled over and smelt clean sheets and blankets. I was no longer on the Black's couch but back in my own room. I felt nauseated briefly by disorientation and flashes of vague memory. I lay frozen on my side for a moment trying to gain my bearings before I tried moving again. I reached up to rub my eyes and looked around the room. What on earth had happened to me?

A sound from the foot of my bed took me by surprise and I looked over to see Ben and Jacob fast asleep, snoring, in two of the seats taken from the dining room. If I hadn't felt so ill I would have harassed them for snoring so loudly. It was still dark out and I had the intense urge to take a trip to the bathroom. I shuffled out of bed as quietly as I could and crept out of my room and down the hallway into the bathroom. On my way back, I washed my hands in the sink and when I saw what looked back at me in the mirror, I almost collapsed.

There, in the mirror looking back at me was a version of myself that I had never seen before. I looked the same and yet I didn't. My skin was a darker shade than it usually was and my hair had grown unrealistically longer, now reaching almost to my disturbingly larger hips. Surely I'd only been out a couple days. This was years of growth! My eyes were a darker green, my shoulders a little bigger than usual and my chest... Oh, lord. What was that, 2 sizes- 3 sizes bigger?! I almost threw up there and then. For lack of a full length mirror, I looked down at my legs. Yep, the floor was definitely further away than it was supposed to be.

I stared back at my reflection in the mirror and my horrified expression bought on the panic I had been holding back since I'd awoken. My breathing came quick again and I gripped the bathroom sink as I felt my legs slacken. "Great, what's the use in having longer legs and bigger hips if they won't hold me upright?" I muttered sarcastically, hoping the sound of my own voice would calm my over active brain.

I closed my eyes and reached for the cold water tap, splashing my face. One deep breath in and another out. I just had to keep calm enough to get back to my bedroom.

"Lani? Sis? Is everything okay?"

Ben leaned against the door frame, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Does everything _look_ okay?!" I hissed.

He raised an eyebrow and peered at me. "2 legs, 2 arms, one head – Everything looks okay to me." He said, grinning.

I rubbed my eyes with one hand and put the other on my hip, continuing with my subtle breathing exercises. "How long have I been out?"

He hesitated. "Tell me, Ben. Tell me everything."

He sighed and stood straight, folding his arms. "Alright but everyone has to be there."

"I don't care whose there, man. I just want it out there so I'm not the only one in the dark anymore." I said, brushing past him and into my room.

I flicked on the light rudely and Jacob groaned on the chair, throwing an arm over his face. I heard him mumble a cuss or ten under his breath and then he glared at me from under his arm, squinting in the light. "You could have woken me up first." He grumbled.

"I'll remember that next time," I muttered as I opened my drawers for a pair of jeans. "Get up. You guys have some explaining to do."

I thought I heard him mumble "So do you," but I was too angry to care as I pushed him and Ben out the door and into the Corolla. Before either of them could complain, I'd jumped into the driver's seat, flooring the accelerator to the Black's house.

* * *

Seeing the hulking forms of Embry, Jared and Paul in the living room of Billy's house was quite a sight. Their huge forms took up most of the space and it seemed like by the time everyone had found a seat, a lot of people were almost on top of each other. I refused to sit, too tense to hold anything back. I ignored the stares that the boys were giving me and glared at Jake when he collapsed on the couch, yawning loudly. Leah sat quietly in the corner, scowling. Her brother, Seth, looking bleary eyed at everyone else.

The worry for myself had begun to settle in and despite my frustration with Ben for not telling me as soon as he'd caught me awake in the bathroom, I inched closer to him. I felt nervous in this room of large men. I could not call Jared, Paul, Embry and everyone else children anymore. Even Seth had a presence about him.

Sam sat on a tattered one seater couch with Emily resting on the arm. I glanced at her mangled face and only then did I feel a little guilty for getting everyone out of bed so late. She had always been kind to me and the look she gave me now was a mix between pity and curiosity.

Billy wheeled himself into the living room next to the chair in which Sam and Emily occupied and turned to me.

"I'm glad to see you up again, Leilani." Billy said, watching me.

I inclined my head only slightly and moved closer to Ben. I couldn't believe how I could have been so angry at Billy before. Now I only felt shame at having spoken to one of my elders with such disrespect. I coloured a little at the thought and ducked my head.

"Now, we have much to talk about."

He had my devout attention. "I'm listening." I murmured quietly.

Billy didn't remove his gaze from my face. "You know of our legends? I assume Richard and Teina have told you the stories?"

My mum and dad had told me most of them as a child but they seemed vague to me now. I struggled to recall what I could. There had been myths and legends about the tribe's beginnings - Of a conflict between an enemy tribe and our own. The details were hazy but I remembered the general gist of it was that we had had warriors, _spirit _warriors, who had defended our tribe in a time of need. It was said that our people had possessed magic. Magic, that allowed our warriors to take the form of...

"The wolf." I whispered, shocked. My breathing was becoming irratic again and my head snapped to stare at Billy. "I know the legends. Now tell me what that has to do with all of us - All of _you_."

Billy sighed. "What if I were to tell you that that power was still alive now?"

I snorted. "That's ridiculous."

"Then how do you explain your little excursion the other day?" Sam spoke now. He wasn't angry but I could hear impatience in his voice.

"What excursion? Jake and I went running. I passed out obviously. But now that I think about it... I can't remember anything, except for the dreams..." I trailed off in thought and I felt Ben shift at my side. When I looked up at him he was giving me a comforting smile and his arm snaked around my shoulder.

"That's what they're trying to tell you, Lans. The same thing happened with me the other day. Didn't you feel the heat?"

I nodded slightly, dazed. Everyone in the room had turned to look at me now and I found it hard to make my face change expression. I was frozen. My mind was a buzz, trying to put logic to what had happened over the last couple of days.

"This is impossible though. How can any of this be true? We have no enemy tribe here."

"We do. You just don't know it." Jacob turned to me, an almost pleading look on his face. Who was he talking about?

"I don't understand how this is possible. Are you trying to tell me that you can all turn into... animals?"

Embry grinned and winked at me from across the room. "Not animals, Lani. Wolves. So, do you believe us?"

I bit my lip and shook my head slowly. "I don't know. Until I see it with my own eyes, I don't think I can believe anything."

Jacob sighed. "You _did_ it, Lani. There's nothing for us to show you. You're one of us now."

I begun to shake my head again and Ben leaned over to take my face between his hands. "It's true, little sister. Haven't you wondered why I grew so fast? Look at me. You can't say that I was like this when we moved here from Manoa."

When I took in his size once more I realised he was right. It wasn't natural. Nothing about his growth had been natural and the heat... I couldn't have been imagining it. Ben's eyes pleaded with me to believe him and I couldn't refuse. If anyone would tell me the truth in this town it would be him. I was silent for a moment, everyone watching me and when I could speak again I had to cough in order to get my voice out audibly.

"So, what are you saying? Am I... a werewolf or something?"

Billy stroked his chin for a moment, studying my face and then shook his head slowly. "You are... but after what happened the other day... none of us were prepared for it."

"What, did I not do it right or something?" I almost laughed. Was there a right way to being a monster? Surely, transforming into any monstrosity would do the trick.

Jacob stood now and walked over to me. "I saw you change, Lans. You _flew_ and then you were on four feet, like us. No one's ever done that before. It's like... you _know_ how to use that magic. We've always thought it was genetic, that our connection to the wolf was the only one that had been handed down through the generations. But you shifting into an owl – It's... well, its nuts. Extremely cool but nuts."

I stared at Jacob shocked. I felt my legs shake and Ben gripped me more tightly. Sam stood now, folding his arms. "Your body wasn't made for that form, Lani. You broke a lot of bones in your body. You're lucky that Carlisle was able to put all the bones back in place the right way."

I frowned slightly. "That's impossible. I couldn't have healed that fast. What day is it?"

Jacob rolled his eyes and collapsed on the floor again. "It's Sunday. You're not hearing us, Lani. You're one of the pack now. Shifting and healing quickly is part of who you are. If you knew the legends, you would know that."

I frowned and felt a growling sound escape my throat. "Shut up, Captain Obvious." I wasn't even surprised at the sound that I had created. Nothing could surprise me after what I had been told tonight. Jacob laughed when he heard it and the boys on the other side of the room, chuckled under their breath.

"I think that's enough information for now. I think I should take her on a run."

Leah stood now and beckoned to me.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Sam said, glaring at Leah. She gave him a defiant look.

"I'll howl if we need anything, Fearless Leader. In the mean time, give the girl a break. It's a lot to digest. Besides, it can't be comfortable for her to be standing there while those baby's over there stare at her new body."

Jared, Paul and Embry snickered and I blushed immediately. Ben threw them a glare and Jacob chucked a magazine that had been lying underneath the coffee table in perfect trajectory towards their position. I rubbed my face and sighed. This had to be one of the most embarrassing moments since moving here. The boys I had grown up with, who were basically brothers, were now laughing _at_ me. Shame. Utter shame.

"I think a run is a great idea." I said quickly.

Sam frowned but seemed to accept. "Take Seth with you."

Leah rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Whatever you want."

As I stepped towards her, Ben moved as well. "I'm going too. I'm not letting her go out there alone. She hasn't had enough practice. You don't know what will happen."

Leah looked exasperated as she looked back and narrowed her eyes at Ben. "_Fine! _Anyone else want to jump on the wagon?"

"Actually, I will. It's not like you've had all the practice in the world, dude. Plus, I feel like running now that I'm _wide awake_." He looked at me pointedly and I rolled my eyes, flipping him my middle finger behind Ben's back. He smirked at me. "Besides, there'll be more than enough of us out there and that way Jared, Embry and Paul can get their beauty sleep. They've been out there all night."

Sam looked calmer now and we left everyone in the Black's living room. Despite our large group I began to feel nervous as we moved out into the forest. When Leah motioned for me to follow her, I looked at her confused.

"Where are we going?"

She laughed. "You didn't want to phase in front of them did you? You know you've got to take off your clothes right? I hope you didn't think they just disappeared into thin air until you needed them again."

I blushed and rubbed my face with my hands. "No. I better start learning quick huh." I muttered mostly to myself.

Ben, Jacob and Seth ignored me and we went our separate ways to 'phase'.


	8. Chapter 8

I felt like I hadn't seen my parents in weeks. When Ben and I arrived at home, the sun had already begun to awaken and we shuffled into the house as quietly as possible. As we made for the staircase, a light cough from the kitchen called our attention.

"That you, kids?" My dad's gruff morning voice sounded.

"Dad?" I walked to the kitchen immediately and without thinking further, I wrapped my arms round him tightly. Ben yawned loudly and announced he was going to bed, promptly disappearing upstairs to his room. When I pulled back from my dad, there were dark circles under his eyes and he took my face in his hands gently. He looked sad and I frowned slightly.

I thought to say something but from the worry on his face, I thought it better to let him do the talking first.

He sighed and pulled me back to him for another hug. My dad was tall and broad, like Ben had been before his change. His curly hair and shining green eyes were the features Ben and I had inherited. Mum had always said she'd fallen in love with his eyes first. His hair was a light brown though and every other feature of ours we had taken from mum.

"Your mother and I... we..." He seemed to search for words but did not remove his arm from around my shoulders.

"It's okay, dad. I'm just as overwhelmed by this as you are." I said quietly, trying to reassure him.

He smiled weakly and gave me a squeeze. "I just want you to know that your mother and I... we understand. Sue had a good talk to us the other night and when Ben got home he told us everything."

I sighed and nodded. "Give it a few days before we get into a full blown discussion. I still can't even comprehend all of this myself."

He gave me another squeeze and then stepped away from me, looking me over, "I can't believe it's still you, you know. The changes you and Benny have been through – it..." He hesitated. "It frightens me a little, that's all."

I smiled a weak smile of my own. "Gee dad, I look that bad huh?"

He chuckled and leaned across to kiss my forehead. "Of course not, you'll always be my baby girl. It's just weird seeing you grown up over night."

"I know, dad. Like I said, let's give it a couple days before we go into a huge discussion about all of this. Where's mum anyway?"

He seemed to accept that and handed me a plate with some toast on it. Another one sat on the bench for Ben. "Still in bed. Where you'll be as soon as you eat something."

My stomach grumbled and I grimaced. "Actually dad, can I have that as well? Don't tell Ben." I smiled sweetly at him and my dad shook his head, chuckling as he put the contents of the other plate onto mine.

"Sue tells us that your mother has to rethink the shopping list."

I grinned and took a bite of my toast, chewing quickly. "Let's see how that pans out. I'm going upstairs. I'll see you later." I leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek and turned to go to my room. I felt his eyes on me all the way out of the kitchen.

It upset me a little knowing that my parents had to go through this with us. The full story had been 'shared' with us as soon as we'd taken wolf forms. Despite the exhilarating feeling of being on four legs I found the shared thought thing a little disturbing. Having everyone in my mind and being in theirs wasn't the best feeling. It was overwhelming at first listening to Leah and Sam's thoughts, knowing their difficult past. Even Seth's chattering voice was a lot to take in at first.

What had shocked me most of all though was the thoughts I had gotten from Jacob. His overwhelming and pure love for Bella had astonished me. He had laughed bitterly as I unintentionally pulled apart the shreds of his heart. I had thought to apologise but before I could even voice a sorry he had told me to forget it. The past week seemed like a distant dream now. I could hardly remember why I had felt so matter of fact about my attitude towards his heart broken haze.

More than that though, I felt a pity towards him. A pity I knew that he didn't deserve. I had battled with the bizarre urge to comfort him and had been plagued by thoughts of him and his heart broken state as soon as we had left everyone's company. I thought about discussing it with Ben but then thought better of it. If I did that it would only make it worse the next time we phased. The overwhelming urge to fix Jacob engulfed me and I began to feel anxious about phasing the next time. Would he be angry at me for pitying him? I couldn't help it. There was a sad irony to the strong and masculine Jacob that you could see on the outside and the depressed and sad boy that he was when it came to Isabella Swann.

Despite all this though, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. I had seen the love that her and Edward had and I believed that that was pure as well. I didn't know Bella very well but from what small conversations we had had, I knew that she was a responsible sort, capable of thinking out every decision. If she had chosen Edward, then it was not a mistake. It didn't help Jake though.

I sighed and shuffled deeper into my blankets, curling up on my side. The only thing I could do was continue on as his pack member. I drifted off to sleep with thoughts of running through the forest with Jacob, hitting the ground in a burst of speed and elation, no Bella and no Edward in sight.

Ben and I went to Forks High in as normal a fashion as possible during the following weeks. We were closer now than we'd ever been before and without the perks of phasing, I felt like we read each others thoughts without trying. I spoke to Bella, Edward and Alice in passing and she never mentioned hanging out with her and Jacob again. I never bought it up and whenever we sat together at lunch we exchanged polite conversation about assignments and weekend activities. It all seemed very superficial and yet it was comforting knowing that we never had to discuss the darker matters that we both knew perfectly well was going on between their family and our tribe.

Ben and I surfed, did our homework and then met with the pack almost every day after school. Ben and I were told that we were 'naturals' at the whole werewolf thing but we shared one mind on the matter – despite the perks of being able to run on four feet, we weren't fighters. Our time away from La Push in Manoa had left a gap in our belonging to the tribe. Everyone had grown up with each other their whole lives and the gap that Manoa had left in our experience with everyone seemed to be emphasised whenever we got together.

Ben found it difficult to fit in completely with the boys. He was older than Jake and most of the other boys, closer to Sam's maturity. As the Alpha Sam's control of the boys related a different kind of relationship with everyone and Ben at times felt on the outside.

I was no different. Not only was I one of two girls but Leah was in a constant state of PMS when around the pack. Her differences with Sam became public clashes and her seniority over me in age left little affection between us. I understood how she felt. She had something to prove. I didn't.

I didn't mind much overall. I would have if Ben hadn't been there but hanging out with him was like hanging out with my best friend. Ben and I almost never fought unless it was the friendly competition and our addition to the pack did nothing to break that apart. At times Ben would be concerned for my safety but I knew he would rather I was with him then elsewhere, getting into mischief were he couldn't keep an eye on me.

Somehow, I had managed to avoid running the lines with Jake and I no longer went around to his place to ask him to hang out. Sam had deemed me too inexperienced to be running late at night, after the midnight hour (I wondered briefly whether it was by the request of my parents and Ben that he'd come to that conclusion) and besides that, I knew he didn't think I could handle it. At any other time I would have been pleased to prove him wrong but I was more concerned about avoiding Jake's knowledge of my pity. One night when we'd been running, Leah had laughed at my thoughts.

_You shouldn't pity him, you know. He wants to feel this pain. If he didn't, he'd get over her. He knows better than you do, that Bella and Edward are meant to be together. He just keeps hoping. _She said it cruelly.

I felt irritated at her observation of my thoughts and growled quietly.

_Everyone deserves a little hope, Lee._ I'd muttered. At the time I wanted to add, _you should try it _but I'd stopped the thought before I could finish. If I had, I was almost positive she would have taken a swipe to my wolfy face. Not that it would have mattered. It's not like it would have scarred.

One Saturday after Ben and I had run back to the house after surfing, Jake turned up in our garage in his usual attire. No shirt and cut off jeans. I had almost gotten use to his half nakedness and yet when he appeared, his russet skin shining in the sun, muscles rippling, I had stop myself from biting my lip and staring at his body dazed.

He watched as I took my board in one hand and Ben's in the other and took them around the back of the garage.

"So where's Ben?"

He followed me quietly around the back as I propped the boards up against the side of the garage and fiddled with the outside tap at the side of the house.

"Inside taking a shower I think. Why? You need him?" I tried to pay as little attention to him as possible, as I rinsed the sand and grit off my feet.

"No, just wondering."

I didn't answer. There was no question so there was no need for me to encourage the conversation. I felt uncomfortable knowing his heartbreak and having such conflicting versions of Jake known to me.

"Lani?"

"Mm?" I continued to wash my already clean feet and reached up to tie my long hair out of my face, avoiding his gaze.

"Are we... okay?"

I looked at him surprised. "What?"

"Is everything alright between us?"

I frowned slightly. "Yeah of course it is. Why?"

He shrugged and folded his large arms, leaning against the side of the garage. "I dunno, just thought there might be something up. You haven't come around lately."

I raised an eyebrow and finished chucking my hair up into a poor version of a bun. "I didn't think you'd notice to be honest." I shrugged as well. "You've had a lot on your mind lately. I get it now."

He peered at me and seemed to try and suss out my true intentions. "What? You feel sorry for me now?"

"I don't feel sorry for you. I just... get it. Isn't that what you wanted?" I winced slightly as I lied.

He seemed to think it over for a moment before he took a step towards me. "Look, I'm sorry for being a dick. I know everyone's been getting sick of me moping over Bella and I haven't exactly been welcoming since you got back."

I laughed and shrugged, shuffling out of my wet suit and setting it under the tap. "Seriously, don't even bring it up. I think I've heard enough of you and Ben's moaning to not want to talk about this kinda shit for a long time. You're like a soap opera man. It does my head in..."

I trailed off when I noticed he'd frozen. Jacob was staring at me intently, jaw very slightly slackened.

"Dude, what?" I frowned.

When I looked down I realised what the problem was. I hadn't even thought about how awkward it would be standing in front of him in a bikini top and bottoms. The surfing routine with Ben had been so ingrained that I hadn't thought twice about it. Ben always had the first shower. I always put the boards away. We always rinsed our wet suits outside. We always rinsed the boards outside. They always went out the back. No one ever came around while this process was going on so it hadn't been an issue until... now.

The frown didn't move from my face as I moved quickly around to the front of the garage and grabbed my towel from the hood of the Corolla.

"You act like you've never seen a chick in a bathing suit man." I grumbled.

He followed me and was grinning widely. "Wait 'til I tell the guys about this. They're gonna be sooo jealous."

I turned wildly and narrowed my eyes. "You wouldn't, Jacob." I was practically growling.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" He was howling with laughter by now and I grabbed an old shoe that lay on one of the garage shelves and lobbed it at his head. He dodged with infuriating ease.

"If you breathe a word, Jake I will literally break your nose."

He was too overwhelmed with laughter to retort and continued until he saw that I was truly upset and stopped abruptly. By this stage I had pulled on a pair of old jeans that had been sitting in Ben's car and had found an old shirt of dad's on the shelf in the garage.

"Okay, sorry! Man... you're cry baby."

I punched him in the shoulder as I walked past him towards the house – He didn't flinch at all. "No seriously, I'm sorry. Where are you going?!"

"To have a shower." I snapped.

"Okay, well I'll wait for you." He said, grinning as he followed behind me.

"What?" This all seemed oddly familiar.

"I said I'll wait for you. I know you're not deaf so don't ask stupid questions." He continued to smirk at me and my irritation continued to grow.

I gritted my teeth and tried to cool my anger. "I know what you said, _Jake_. I want to know why you're waiting for me."

"Because you and me, Miss Davis, are hanging out today." He said triumphantly.

"Right. Well, I'm busy."

He threw back his head and laughed loudly, the muscles in his torso rippling to the movement of his chest. He sobered when he saw my unimpressed expression. "You are not. You're never busy that's why you're always bugging me. Well, why you _used_ to bug me. But I'm here to help so get a move on." I was tempted to poke my tongue out at him.

I rolled my eyes instead and moved into the house quickly, muttering quietly, "Damn werewolf..."

Once again I'd under estimated his hearing and I heard him laugh. As I moved inside I battled with my feet in order to prevent them from stomping up the stairs towards the bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

Hanging out with Jacob was easy. Not as easy as hanging out with my brother but still easy. We talked, I started to teach him how to surf, we mucked around in his garage, we ran a lot, we played video games, watched bad movies, watched good movies, lounged on his couch, lounged on mine, hung out with Ben and sometimes hung out with Angela and her boyfriend - it was all easy. As the weeks went on and Ben and I became closer and closer to everyone in the pack, being part of the werewolf club got easier. We learnt more about the tribe and everyday we began to feel closer and closer to our roots. We began to feel part of the magical legacy that every one in the pack felt so connected to. It was a bizarre mix of belonging and the discovery of what it really meant to be 'home'.

Ben had started to feel better about the girlfriend he had left behind in Manoa. He no longer had bad moods over missing her and they seemed to still be friends, emailing each other every other day. He had started dating some girls at school, deciding to succumb a little to the attention he'd been getting since his change. He still refused to become friendly with Edward and Alice and I didn't argue with him. He knew as well as I did what the beef was between 'them' and 'us'.

He wasn't happy about how much time Jacob and I spent together. He'd hinted that he thought that there was something more going on between us but I told him time and again that we were only friends. Billy and Sue liked that Jacob seemed more alive than his usual depressed self and I couldn't help but feel a little chuffed that I was responsible for some of that.

One Satursday afternoon after we had got back from the beach, Jacob and I were pottering around his garage. He finished his Rabbit and he was putting some finishing touches on the paint job. I enjoyed watching him work loathe to help him too much in case I screwed up something important. A smudge on his precious car would earn me some embarrassment later in the future if Jake had anything to do with it.

I sat on a bench in his garage watching him inside his own personal kingdom. His shirt was absent as usual and I was so used to it now, I began to think that his smooth warm russet skin was his clothing in itself. Resilient and strong and let's face – it didn't look half bad either.

He stood up, grinning at me as I licked my fingers, crunching up a now empty packet of corn chips.

"What? I was hungry." I said, mumbling between chews.

He laughed and wiped his oily hands on a rag. "You eat almost as much as we do, Lans. It's frightening."

I poked my tongue out at him and jumped off the bench. "The only thing frightening is you when you haven't eaten for 3 hours."

He tugged the end of my long braid gently as I glided past him. "Hilarious. Where do you think you're going?"

"To get a drink. You want something?"

I felt hands on my waist, tugging me backward. Jacob gripped me tightly as I stumbled backward uncomfortably, ready to protest.

"Yeah, I want you to quit eating my food. There's going to be nothing for me and dad later and you know what that means? I'll be grumpy. And you don't want that."

I felt his chest at my back and he was peering over my shoulder and into my face. I felt my heart quicken involuntarily and I had to tear my eyes away from his, his face uncomfortably close to my own.

I pulled away and laughed, shaking off some of the awkwardness. "Okay okay, you don't want me in your cupboards. Fine. But then I'm going over to Sam and Emily's. They invited us all around for dinner, you know."

He made a face as I pulled away and gave me one of his raised eyebrow looks. "We only just got back. Do we have to go right now?"

"I guess not. Why? You got something you need to do?"

He shrugged and looked away. "Not really. I just like chillin' out doing nothing. It's nice not to have to be around the pack all the time."

I grimaced. Was I annoying him? After his bout with Bella and my subsequent understanding of his pain, I'd been paranoid about invading his space, especially inside his own home. I knew that we were good friends but the feeling I had felt before when he touched me was not a good sign. I didn't think of Jacob that way, at least I didn't think I did and we were so close now that I wanted nothing to spoil it. It was good hanging out with Ben but it was nice to have a close friend _other_ than a family member that I could spend time with. Besides that, Jacob reminded me that I was a part of something. Something significant.

"Do you want me to meet you there later? If you've got stuff to do then I'll cruise home and have a shower real quick."

He frowned slightly. "No, stay." He said quickly.

I grinned at him jokingly. "Is that a request or a demand?"

"Both." He laughed and moved close to me again, gazing at me seriously. "Hey, thanks."

"For what?"

"For being such a good friend to me. You're really... close... to me. This whole Bella thing... I dunno, I've just been able to forget about most of it lately... hanging out with you and everything."

The heat between us was unbearable. We were propped against the bench, leaning towards each other without realising. The close proximity was too much and I leaned away abruptly. I laughed pathetically.

"Don't go soft on me, Jake."

I couldn't tell if he blushed slightly but all of a sudden he was back to his usual joking self and he leaned over to muss my hair. "You're a pain in the ass but you're still my best friend."

I froze as he continued to chuckle over what he had just said. This all sounded so familiar. Bella was his best friend. No matter what he said I knew that it was true. No hanging out time with me would change what had happened with the two of them and it was enough that I still hadn't been up front with him about my feelings toward his broken heart. Without realising, I had attempted to fix him over the last couple of weeks without realising. I didn't know how good a job I had done but I hoped that whatever I had given him, it was enough for him to at least remember he was not and would never be alone.

He noticed me pause and frowned slightly. "Lani?"

I smiled slightly and watched him for a moment. "Let's not use that term 'best friend'. It's weird for me."

He looked confused and a little hurt. I grimaced and leaned over to kiss his forehead quickly. "You are close to me too. Who knows how many broken bones I would have now if it wasn't for you." I pulled back and met his intense gaze, grinning. "Okay, enough of this girl-talk. What do you wanna do if you're not going to let me eat?"

He seemed about to say something when he paused. And then I heard it – The sound of a loud truck coming down the road. Only our enhanced hearing could have picked it up and I saw his eyes widen slightly at some realisation.

Before he mouthed, "Bella", I knew who it must have been. I heard his heart rate quicken and he was immediately on the other side of the garage. As I saw him disappear out to the front of the house I blinked. What was this bizarre feeling I had in my chest? I looked around his garage desperately for something to prompt an answer out of my brain. Nothing came.

I heard a door open and then Jacob's light footsteps moved quickly. I heard Bella's heartbeat as soon as the sound of the engine had ceased and then Jacob must have given her one of his bear hugs as I heard her exclaim, "Jacob... can't... breathe!"

I felt conflicted. Was it best that I went out the front and interrupt them or disappear out the back and avoid the awkwardness? I made up my mind and moved out the back of the garage. As soon as I felt the evening air hit my face I was running back the long way home. My heart palpitations picked up and I pumped my arms against my side willing my legs to take me as far from the Black's house as fast as possible. I didn't know why I was so upset and I didn't want to consider it either. I knew if I thought it over I would be terrified by the answer. When I saw my house, I jumped four steps at a time, leaping through the front door. My dad raised an eyebrow at my quick entrance. I saw him about to ask a question but I turned away abruptly, taking the stairs upstairs four at a time and bursting into Ben's room.

He lay on his bed, headphones on with an exercise book open in front of him. When he saw my face, he said nothing, but opened his arms as I threw myself into them. He didn't ask what was wrong just hugged me tightly. I didn't realise I was shaking until I felt his hand on my back stroking gently. I didn't cry. I was still avoiding thinking about Jacob and the weird sensations that were going through my heart and my stomach. It was a while before Ben spoke to me.

"Lani? Sis? Do you want to talk about it?"

I did not release my tight grip from around his waist. I couldn't bring myself to speak quite yet and simply shook my head, refusing to look up at him.

He sighed and kissed my forehead. "I think you should. You won't figure it out otherwise."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I mumbled as I buried my face in his chest.

I felt his torso shudder as he chuckled and then he was pulling me away from him gently, peering into my face.

"What's the deal with him then?"

"There is no deal." I said, looking down defiantly.

"Okay. So, why are you so upset then?"

I put on my best impassive face. "I'm not."

"Lani, you're talking to _me_. I know everything about you, squirt. If I say you're upset then there's a 99% chance that I'm right." He grinned and leaned across to tug my hair gently.

I took a deep breath and shrugged. I spoke slowly and carefully. "To be honest, I have no idea why I'm upset. I feel better now that I'm home." Jacob's face swam into my mind and I bit my lip, staring down at my fingers.

"You like him don't you?" Ben watched me closely.

"No." I answered quickly. "I don't think so, anyway."

Ben's eyebrows knitted together. "Well... even if you did, it'd be a bad idea to go down that road. Jacob's got a lot on his mind, so do you – it'd only make things harder."

I nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

He frowned slightly and looked at me worriedly. "I'm not trying to be a prick, Lans."

I smiled slightly. "Yeah, I know. And I don't even know if it's like that with Jacob. I never thought it was but lately, I don't know... But you're right anyway. It would go nowhere good."

He accepted that but continued to watch me quietly. "So, why are you home so early?"

I shrugged again. "Bella came by and I didn't want to get in their way."

"Aah, I see."

I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't like that man. Jacob was going on about me being his 'best friend' just before she arrived and I freaked out. You know what it's like between him and Bella, it's all... complicated and what not. I didn't want to deal with that."

Ben laughed. "Yeah, I hear that! Complicated explains their little situation perfectly."

I snorted. "Okay, now you're being a prick. You better hope I don't tell Jake about this later."

"Like you'll have a choice. This werewolf thing doesn't exactly promote privacy."

I grimaced. "Yeah, sorry in advance." Ben laughed and then I couldn't help myself and I was laughing too.

There was a light knock at the door and dad poked his head into the room. "You've got a phone call baby girl." He looked at me worriedly and he looked quickly to Ben for reassurance. He gave an imperceptible shake of his head and I held back the urge to roll my eyes. Would these men in my life never stop worrying about me? I was tough!

Dad held out the cordless to me and I leaned up to kiss Ben on the forehead and then my dad before taking the phone and heading down the hall to my own room. When I put the phone to my ear I finally realised who it was on the other line. Why had I not anticipated this?

"Hello?"

"Lani? Why did you leave? I thought something had happened to you!" Jacob's deep voice came down the line saturated with worry.

"Sorry, man. Thought I'd give you guys some privacy and head home to have a shower. Is everything okay?" I hoped I didn't sound pathetic. That was the last thing I wanted. My heart beat faster as I heard his voice again in my ear. Why had I not noticed these feelings for what they were long before?

"You didn't have to leave, you know. I wanted you to stay." My chest felt squeezed slightly. I was having trouble breathing.

"No, it's cool. It's not every day you get to see Bella. It's not like I'm going anywhere." I attempted a laugh. It sounded fake to my own ears.

"Well, come back down. Bella's here. We're gonna go down to Sam's in about an hour so we'll wait for you."

I winced. "You guys go ahead. Ben and I need to run into Forks and do something for mum and dad real quick but I'll meet you guys at Sam's."

Jacob seemed irritated and I sighed internally. "Why? Can't you guys do it tomorrow?"

"Nah, it can't wait. But seriously, you guys go ahead and we'll see you there."

"Well, we'll wait for you to get back then." He pushed.

"No! Jake. Please. You guys go. I _want_ you guys to spend some time together."

He sighed loudly. "_Fine_ but if I don't see you later, I'm telling the guys that I've seen you naked."

I choked. "Jacob!"

He laughed gently and my heart ached. "I'm just kidding! I'll see you at Sam and Emily's. Don't be too late!"

I conjured the effort to laugh as well. "Sure sure, I'll see you later on."

We said our goodbyes and when I hung up, I collapsed onto my back on my bed. A moment later Ben was at my door, leaning against the frame. "That was really bad lying, little sister."

I threw a pillow at him half heartedly and buried my face in another one, groaning loudly. "Do you think Sam and Emily would mind if we cancelled? We can say we got stuck in Forks or something."

Ben laughed and rolled his eyes. "I'll call him later on to make it believable. But we should still do something tonight. Fancy a run?"

I paused. As soon as the stray thought had hit me I knew I would do it. "Actually, how do you feel about going down to the beach? I want to try something." I wanted to try phasing into another form again. My need for an adrenaline hit was overwhelming and I had made up my mind now so that was that.

Ben raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to like this am I?"

I grinned. "Oh, I don't know... I think its gonna be a _lot_ of fun."

Ben shook his and sighed, turning away. "I don't like the sound of this. Let's at least eat before we go anywhere, I'm starving!"

I heard my stomach grumble and grimaced. "Me too. Race ya!"

As we ran (leaped really) down the stairs we heard mum's voice from the kitchen. "If you two break anything, you better watch out!"

But we were already in the kitchen, laughing.


	10. Chapter 10

Not for the first time, I thanked our ancestors for giving us the warmth. I knew that it was cold but I couldn't feel the sting. We stood at the top of the cliff, overlooking first beach. My adrenaline was pumping fast through my body and the moon overhead only encouraged me. Ben stood, arms folded next to me.

"You're not doing this. It's not safe. You know what happened last time you tried this."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Yeah, but if I phase into something 'about' the size of our werewolf forms, everything should be okay right?"

Ben narrowed his eyes and scowled. "You don't know that. Why do we have to try it in the sea anyway?"

"Because! I want to!"

Ben let an exasperated sigh and began to pace. "This is about Jacob, isn't it?!"

"Of course not!"

"Then what?! Why now? Can't you talk to Billy first or something?"

I took his hand gently in mine and held him still. He didn't look ready to be defeated and looked at me with pleading eyes. "I've got a bad feeling, Lani."

I smiled slightly, "You'll be here to save me if anything goes wrong. _Please_ don't be a party pooper, Benny. Pleeasseee."

I pouted and he rolled his eyes again. He snatched his hand away from mine and went back to tightly folding his arms. "Fine, but if you don't resurface I'm coming in there and _fishing_ you out!"

I smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Yes! Okay, so... what'll it be tonight? Dolphin? Whale?"

He raised an eyebrow and continued to look unconvinced. "Dolphin. You're big but not that big. You'd probably disappear into nothing if you tried a whale."

I punched him in the arm lightly. "Shut up, you. I am not big!" While he wasn't looking I quickly took inventory of my ass. Damn, it _was_ bigger.

I made a face and closed my eyes, centering myself. Ben stood back at a safe distance and watched me warily. I let the adrenaline come back again, feeling the heat waiting to be awakened in the centre of me. In my mind, I embraced it fully and pushed it along to flow between limb and heart. I felt my body automatically shift into werewolf gear, my senses already heightening slightly more to the pull of the wolf.

I felt my forehead crease as I pulled back the heat and visualised the ocean. I imagined the water flowing over my body, pushing through depths of the ocean. Gravity did not exist in this state. I felt the heat and it's submission to my will as I opened my eyes once again, smiling reassuringly at Ben.

"Don't be afraid." I mouthed as I took one step over the edge and fell. As I felt the wind fold me up in its gusts, I let the heat take over me.

And then I was in the ocean. I didn't know what my body was or where it was taking me but I didn't care. This was just as good as running through the forest – Just as good as flying, albeit briefly, through the forest. This was freedom. I pushed further and deeper. Phosphorescence glowed and without trying, I could judge the distance from the surface to the ocean floor. I visualised clearly the exact shape of the bay, could see every jagged jut of the cliff face as it plunged to touch the ocean at its foot. And then I was soaring through the surface of the ocean, flying into the air, my body emblazoned with the glow of the moon. The elation coerced my heart into soaring as my body did from ocean to water, over and over again.

I didn't know how much time had passed. All I knew was I didn't want to go back to being me yet. I didn't want to think about my feelings towards Jake or the pack and the vampire threat. That stuff was complicated and was nothing in comparison to this kind of freedom.

The next time I moved out of the water, I saw lights glinting on the shore. My senses felt the movement of bodies in the shallow ocean on the edge of the beach. They were warm and sturdy. It was the pack. My time was up. If I didn't get back soon, Ben would be going crazy. I wasn't enthusiastic about letting go of my new form but dealing with them later would be worse.

As I made my way to the cliff face I willed the heat to return me to my meagre human body. As I felt the warmth subside, I crawled quickly to a shallow cave where I had left a set of clothes before I'd jumped off the cliff. I dressed quickly and winced as I pushed my arms through the arms of my shirt. My arms were entirely blue with bruising. How had I not noticed the pain before? I sighed. It would be gone in half an hour.

As I headed back out and to the other end of the beach, Sam, Jacob, Quill, Bella, Ben and Paul ran towards me. When I saw the look on Sam's face I mentally prepared myself for the worst. I was apologising before they stood in front of me.

"I'm fine! Before you go nuts at me! Look! One piece!"

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" I blinked. It wasn't Sam it was Jacob. He strode towards me quickly and gripped my arm painfully, pulling it out to examine it. "Look at you! What the hell were you doing out there this late?!"

I frowned and pulled my arm away from him. "It's not that late. I wasn't even out there that long so _back off_."

"He's right, Lani. You're playing with something you don't know anything about. _We_ don't even know how dangerous it is. Just because you have a different knowledge of the shifting, it doesn't mean you can do what you want with it." Sam was shaking with anger and he was looking at me ferociously.

I felt the anger wanting to take me over but my logic told me it would do no good. Sam was the Alpha. What he said was the law.

I looked at Ben pleadingly to take my side. "Ben was here. He would've got me out if anything happened."

Ben frowned slightly. "I couldn't see a thing out there, Lani. You took off to the other side of the beach before you resurfaced again. I was going crazy with worry. You were out there for almost 2 hours!"

"That can't be right!" I was shocked when Ben looked at me hurt and Jacob just shook his head.

"I'm sorry..." I sounded pathetic. I felt even more self conscious with Quill, Paul and Bella looking at me pityingly. "I didn't think it would hurt. I just... I just wanted to try..." My voice had dropped to a whisper and I stared at the ground. I felt so stupid.

Jacob snorted and shook his head, muttering bitterly about being selfish and doing stupid things. He turned abruptly and walked away. Quill and Paul turned, following him into the night. Bella moved forward and took my arm gently. "That should be fixed up in a few minutes. Come on let's get you something to eat."

I sighed and turned to look at Ben and Sam. They were frowning as they watched me and I cowered. "Go with Bella, Leilani. Ben and I need to run the line once before we go home."

I winced and nodded. "I'm sorry. Really."

Sam only sighed and shook his head again. Ben said nothing and both of them turned away, two large men walking away into the night.

I collapsed on the sand and looked out at the surf, miserably. Bella followed me and was silent at my side.

"You must think I'm such a try hard." I muttered.

Bella laughed softly. "No way. I've done worse."

I looked at her surprised. "Really?"

She grinned and nodded. "Yeah. I tried jumping off that cliff without anyone around." She shrugged. "Thrill junkie."

I couldn't help it and laughed. "You're my idol."

She laughed too. "Don't worry about Jacob. He wasn't happy when I did it either. He's got a protective complex."

I snorted. "Oh, I'm not worried about him. He doesn't really care. He's a bit of a drama queen if you haven't noticed."

"Oh, he's definitely a drama queen. But I think he really does care."

I gave her a wry smile. "Yeah. He thinks he has to look after the pack. Like Sam isn't enough."

"I don't think that's it." Bella said quietly.

I frowned slightly. I knew what she was trying to say and it wasn't true. I knew it wasn't. "It's not like that, Bella."

"Isn't it?" She asked, peering into my face.

"No, it's not. He... he loves you more than anyone. Well, maybe not more than Edward. Or maybe they're even. Anyway, we're good friends, Jacob and I. But that's all. Trust me."

She smiled softly and was silent for a moment. "I love him too, you know."

I nodded and said nothing. My chest squeezed painfully.

"He gets angry at me because he thinks I'm being... a bitch, or whatever. He gets angry because he thinks I forgave the Cullen's and especially Edward, too easily. I agree that I've never been fair to him. I just... love _him_ more." She seemed to smile at some memory she had. "Jacob once said that Edward was my drug. If life had gone the way it was supposed to, Jacob would have been like my air... my _sun_. Edward was just... the anomaly that life hadn't predicted. Jacob would have been healthier for me. But what can I say?" She smiled that soft smile again. "I'm addicted."

She wasn't ashamed of that and I didn't believe that she needed to be.

"I don't envy being you." I said jokingly.

She laughed again. "Good, you shouldn't. But... I know he cares about you, Lani. I don't know how much but he does. I love Jake, really... I do. I can't say I want him to be with anyone else but I don't want him in pain either. His pain is my pain."

I nodded again and sighed. "I like you, Bella. I think you're cool and I respect what you're saying. But the way I feel about Jake is... complicated. Yes, we're friends but more than that? I can't imagine it. I don't want to. It's better this way."

She nodded and we sat in silence for a moment before she stood. She offered her hand and I took it as she tugged me to my feet. "So how do you feel about ice cream?"

I laughed. I was definitely an ice cream person.


	11. Chapter 11

I was so nervous my hands were sweaty. I rubbed them against my thighs as I dawdled up the Black's driveway. I felt like I was walking into a city where a nuclear bomb was about to be let off. I was anticipating the bomb but that didn't make it any easier to get the courage to knock on the door. I never usually knocked and when Billy opened the door he looked pleasantly surprised.

I coughed nervously. "Um, is Jake home?"

Billy had a small smile at the corner of his lips and nodded, indicating towards Jake's room with a nod of his head. I winced. "Is it bad?" I whispered.

Billy chuckled and wheeled himself back to the kitchen. "Oh yeah. You should be terrified."

I grimaced. "Thanks, granddad."

He laughed and winked at me as he rounded the corner. I sighed and took a deep breath as I continued to dawdle down the cramped hallway to Jake's room. I shuffled nervously at his door and then made my hand knock. I decided not to wait for an answer and opened the door. Jake was strewn across his bed, snoring loudly. He looked bigger than usual in such a small space and I grimaced again, taking a step backward on my tiptoes. As I pulled the door closed as gently as possible, I heard a heavy sigh.

"Are you going to come in here and talk to me or are you going to run away?"

I poked my head through the door again and winced when I saw him watching me from the bed. He patted the space next to him and I shuffled into his room, staring at the ground guiltily. I sat down successfully avoiding his gazed.

"I'm really sorry about skipping out on Sam's last night and I'm sorry for being stupid down at the beach." I mumbled.

"What was that? Can you speak up?" I heard laughter in his voice.

I glared at him. "I know you heard me. I said I was _sorry_."

He watched me for a moment and then smiled crookedly. "Apology accepted."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god. I thought you were going to blow me up."

He laughed. "Oh, I was going to. But then I saw you in that dress and I couldn't."

I frowned and looked down at my cotton dress. Why did he make comments like that? It was unnecessary. I never said his chest looked particularly amazing. I never told him his arms were looking pretty muscular. _I_ never made _him_ feel uncomfortable.

I never thought much of my wardrobe when I put things on. I never even went shopping. Mum usually did it all for me and I just put it on. The dress I wore had been hers at one stage. It was old and had been mended a few times. A beaded pattern was scattered along the hem at the bottom and some had fallen off over the years. It was light and comfortable and I enjoyed plodding around La Push in it on warm days. Now that most days were warm days for me, I spent a lot of time in lighter clothing. It was just more comfortable.

When I looked over at Jacob I mentally rolled my eyes. Sure enough, he looked beautiful – a god in his own kingdom. He muscles seemed more defined if that was even possible and his skin looked even smoother than usual. I bit my lip and looked away as a vision of me running my hands over his stomach suddenly appeared in my head, the feeling of his skin against mine... I made a face and bit my lip.

He poked me in the side and I jumped. "What?"

"I _said_ are we hanging out today?" He was smiling at me and my heart was melting again.

"Well, _actually_ I was going to go to..." I felt nervous again. "The Cullens?"

I waited for the bomb – round II. It didn't come. He paused and stared at me. "_Why?"_

I shrugged. "Bella invited me to hang out with her and Edward and Alice. If you don't want me to go then I understand. She's your friend so – "

He cut me off. "I don't need to give you permission. She's your friend as well. But does it have to be at that house? With those _bloodsuckers? _Can't you go to Charlie's or something? Or a movie?"

I rolled my eyes. "They invited me, remember? I can't be rude and ask them if we can hang out at Bella's house instead. What's the big deal anyway?"

He let out an exasperated sigh and collapsed back on his pillows. "The deal is that I don't feel comfortable with you being in a house of vampires. You know how delicate the treaty is right now. Bella should know better."

My eyebrows knitted together and I leaned back on the heels of my hands, turning to face him. "If you don't want me to go, I won't go."

Our gazes locked together and I waited for him to answer. The way he looked at me made me feel exposed. He sighed. "Let me call, Edward. I just want to make sure his beef head brothers aren't going to go crazy as soon as you walk in the door."

I snorted. "You're acting like my dad not my friend. Is that necessary?"

He rolled his eyes. "Just let me do this. Or do I need to threaten you again?"

I growled and pinched his leg as hard as I could. He flinched only slightly. "What the hell was that? A girl pinch?"

My hand came up quickly, my werewolf reflexes kicking in and it seemed to go in slow motion as my fist travelled to the side of his jaw. He had caught my fist in his palm before I knew what was happening and he pulled my fist away from him at arm's length. The force pulled me towards him and then I was landing on top of him uncomfortably. He was smirking and our faces were very close. I scowled and dug my knee into the bed, trying to push my body away from him.

"You didn't seriously think you were gonna connect that punch did you?" His voice was husky and I was positive he could hear my heart rate pick up, his grin growing wider. The butterflies in my stomach were in overdrive and his other hand had made its way waist, gripping me tightly.

"I'd hoped I'd least get one tooth out." I snarled.

He was staring at my mouth and it was making me feel even more uncomfortable.

"I'll give you another shot if you want." He murmured.

He was leaning towards me slowly and I could feel his breath on my face now. His mouth was so close, my heart was begging me to give in. I panicked and then the warmth was there to help. I let it run down my leg and pushed off the bed again with my knee and yanked my fist away from his. I felt my muscles tense and then contract. In a second, I was on the other side of the room and Jake was staring at me.

"Come on. You've got a phone call to make." I turned abruptly and walked out of his room.

Billy raised an eyebrow at my storming exit from Jake's room but said nothing. He turned back to watching the replays of a game on TV. Jacob followed me soon after and collapsed on the couch next to me with the cordless in his hand. I didn't want to be there for the conversation with Edward and went to loiter in the kitchen. He gave me a glance as I stood and I felt his eyes on me as I left the room. The butterflies were being particularly frustrating this morning and my heart rate was still up. I rubbed my sweaty hands together and tried to wipe them on skirt again. No luck. I felt like I was on fire. I wondered briefly if my face was the colour of a tomato. Shame. Shame shame shame.

I rummaged around the cupboard and helped myself to a half packet of chips. Jacob snapped me red handed as he finished with his phone call and grinned as he sauntered over to where I sat on the bench. "I'm dropping you off."

"Why?!" I was appalled. He was acting like my dad.

He laughed. "Because I'll feel better if I do."

"Can't Bella come and get me instead?" Was I pouting? I felt betrayed by my body in every way this morning.

"No, because I _want_ to drop you off. Don't be such a pain." He leaned across and snatched the rest of the chip packet out of my hands, flashing me a dazzling smile. I narrowed my eyes at him. He only laughed louder.

"What're you so afraid of? Is it such a big deal that I drop you off to certain doom?" He was leaning close to me again and my skin began to feel sticky with heat. His shirtless torso called out to my hands and I bit my lip in an attempt to control myself. What was happening to me? Where was my self control?!

Suddenly he was on his feet standing in front of me. He had cornered me as I sat on the bench, his hands on either side of my hips. I swallowed thickly and met his intense gaze. My insides had fallen away and I was rubbing my hands on my thighs again, the nervousness making them sweatier than usual. He was staring my hands. The hands that were on my thighs. The hands that were giving away my nervousness.

"Well?" He was looking up at me expectantly, smile still in tact.

"I'm not afraid of you and I'm not afraid of the Cullen's." I said as my voice threatened to break. I was almost whispering.

His hands creeped further back onto the bench and he leaned closer, his forehead almost touching mine. I could feel his breath on my face again and his warmth was enveloping me.

"Well, that's good. Then you won't be scared if I do this."

And then that's when I think I must have temporarily lost my lungs. His lips were on mine and his hands were slipping up my thighs. He pushed against me and I leaned back on one palm to keep balance, my other hand coming up to tangle fingers in his hair. He was gentle in a very Jacobesque way. His lips were soft, just the way I had imagined them - it felt like our mouths were on fire, our combined heat creating something more. I wanted to bring him closer to me, I wanted all of him. It delighted me that there was so _much_ of him to want.

And then Bella's face was there. Her hurt face. And I was pulling away.

We were breathing heavily and I looked away. He took my face in his hands gently and turned me to look at him again. "Was it that bad?"

I sighed and gave him a crooked smile. "It wasn't bad. But it wasn't right."

He rolled his eyes and leaned up to kiss my forehead. "_Why_ wasn't it right?"

I shoved his chest lightly and he grabbed my hands, pulling them around his waist. "Because you love Bella and we're better friends."

"How do you know that we're better as friends?"

"You just avoided the Bella part, Jacob." I said, looking up at him unconvinced.

He sighed, pulling my long braid over my shoulder. "Bella is..."

"I know what Bella is. So stop this."

I leaned over and kissed him gently again as I pushed past him and jumped off the bench. "Come on, you need to drop me off."

He sighed and followed me as I yelled a goodbye to Billy and moved outside. When we got into his Rabbit he paused and looked at me quietly. "Can we talk about this later?"

I sighed as well and nodded. "Yeah. Later."


	12. Chapter 12

Sitting in the car with Jacob was perhaps the most difficult 15 minutes of my life. I battled with my heart rate the entire time and the smirk he wore on his face didn't help either. I sat on my hands in an effort to keep them from giving away my nervousness any longer and I kept my eyes on the road the entire time. When the silence got unbearable I reached for the new CD player he had installed a few weeks ago. I rummaged around in a CD wallet I'd left in his car and pulled out a CD at random. He raised an eyebrow as I struggled to do the zip up on the wallet with my shaking hands but said nothing.

I played with the settings, pushing up the bass. There was something about bass that I loved. It hit the centre of my chest and I liked the way it vibrated through my body. With my new senses the sensation was enhanced and I spent a lot of my time, when alone, with my stereo up loud. When mum and dad weren't home I had free reign of the stereo. Ben didn't mind so much and music was my soul food. It kept me jived.

When Jacob pulled up to the relatively hidden opening of a road I had never seen before I finally spoke.

"I've never seen this road before."

Jacob grinned. "It's not a road. It's their driveway."

I blinked. Talk about private. "Hey, stop. Drop me here, I'll walk up."

He laughed and shook his head, no inclination of stopping. "It's a long driveway."

I frowned. "I've got two legs. I'll be fine."

He looked over at me and looked pointedly at my bare feet. "You didn't even bring shoes."

"So? If you hadn't noticed, I'm a bit of a freak. I'll be fine."

I ground my teeth together. When he saw my face he pushed the breaks and we jolted to a stop. I refused to look at him. "Are you angry at me or something?"

"No."

He sighed. "Fine. I'll pick you up later just call me."

I opened the door and climbed out. "You're not my dad, dude. I'll run home." Without saying goodbye I turned and began walking away. I didn't hear him reverse and I didn't look back. I didn't know what had come over me but the urge to put some distance between me and Jake was so intense I couldn't avoid it any longer.

When the trees hid the Rabbit from view I felt my heart rate slow back to normal and I was able to breathe freely again. The walk was actually pleasant and there was a kind of peace in this part of the forest. When I finally made it to front of the big white house I let out a low whistle.

"Fancy," I muttered as I studied the house carefully, leaping up the front steps. _I've gotta quit this whole leaping thing. I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb_.

As I raised by hand to knock on a very large front door, it opened before I had the chance to finish the action. A beautiful woman stood in front of me with a warm smile. Her eyes were a gentle gold and her face was kind. I blinked.

"Um, hi. Are Edward and Alice here?"

Her dazzling smile almost floored me and I returned it with a weak one of my own. "Yes, come in come in!" She gestured inside with her hand and I shuffled inside nervously. I suddenly felt small with my bare feet and flimsy cotton dress. The entrance to the Cullen home was gorgeous and I couldn't help looking around at everything. I hoped I didn't look too awed.

The lady watched me with a soft look and extended her hand. "You must be Leilani."

I shook it and was not at all surprised at how cold her skin was. I conjured another smile. "Yes, are you Mrs Cullen?"

"Please, call me Esme." I couldn't argue with her. Not with the feeling of welcome she exuded with her posture alone.

"Lani!" Alice had suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs with another blonde haired guy following close behind. He studied me openly and I felt intimidated by his stare. Like the rest of the family, he was breathtaking. This must be Jasper.

Alice gave me a brief hug and I tried not to shudder. Her delighted smile was infectious and I returned it a little less timidly than the one I had given Esme. "Lani, this is Jasper."

Jasper inclined his head but did not smile. "Nice to meet you."

The rest of the Cullen family had suddenly appeared on the staircase, a blonde woman and who I presumed to her partner, stood glaring at me. They made their way to the bottom closely followed by Edward and Bella fastened together, Edward's arm around Bella's waist. I swallowed. All of as sudden I felt nervous.

"Leilani, it's nice to see you again." Dr. Cullen smiled as he descended the stairs to wrap his arms around Esme's waist.

The family were dazzling and I felt myself blinking a lot. My senses kicked in and the sweetness in the air almost choked me. The blonde girl glared at me and she quite obviously stiffened.

"Do we have to put up with this odour all day?" She snarled, her gaze rooted on my face.

I didn't flinch and I certainly wasn't offended. I raised an eyebrow.

"I guess you must be Rosalie then." I said. There was silence as her gaze flared.

Edward and Alice snickered and the burly guy next to her, chuckled. I smiled sweetly. "It's so nice to meet you."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes and let out a very vampire like snarl. I had the sudden urge to laugh. She was exactly how Jacob had described. Beautiful beyond description but what a mood killer!

And then all of a sudden it was easy. The mood had suddenly been lifted after the introductions were over. Bella and Edward took me an extensive tour of the large white house. Some of the paintings were exquisite and the music collection that Edward had was a treasure trove. I got a little carried away trawling through his old vinyls and CD's. So much so, that when Bella laughed at my enthusiasm and my babbled amazement at some rare CD's I'd only ever dreamed of seeing, I immediately blushed.

We didn't see much of Rosalie and Emmett for the rest of the day and when Alice rejoined us in the lounge we talked as friends did. There was no talk about the treaty or the differences between my tribe and their family. I was glad and yet it I couldn't help but think it would eventually break up our friendship. I tried not to dwell on it.

Jasper sat silently at Alice's side for the most part and I felt his gaze on me more often than not. I didn't know whether I was making them nervous or whether it was the other way round. The bizarreness of the situation was always there but Edward, Bella, Alice's and my own effort to make things normal persevered through keeping our company together. We played a lame game of Scrabble that Edward won effortlessly (his vocabulary was far superior to any of our own) and when Alice teased him about challenging Carlisle to a game he laughed. It was a beautiful sound that almost hurt my ears.

The only thing that made the day uncomfortable was the overbearing smell. The sweetness in the air burned my throat and I found myself coughing lightly often during the day. They didn't seem to mind my smell – or perhaps they were just very good at hiding it. As it got darker, Esme suddenly appeared with the phone in her hand. When she handed it to me, my face dropped.

I grimaced. "It's for me?"

Esme smiled knowingly and handed it to me, saying nothing more. I excused myself from the lounge and moved out the backdoor to the Cullen's impressively large backyard. Bella and Edward watched me carefully as I moved and I had no doubt that Edward knew exactly what I was thinking.

I already knew who was on the line and I didn't bother with pleasantries.

"I'm still running home, Jacob."

"I don't care if you run, walk, crawl, hitch-hike – Just get back here as soon as you can. Sam's called a meeting with the council."

I frowned slightly. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

Jacob let out an exasperated sigh. "Just do as I ask for once please." I didn't like his attitude but I suppose I couldn't argue if Sam was gathering the pack. I sighed.

"I'm leaving now."

I didn't say goodbye, just hung up and went back inside. The game of Scrabble had been neatly packed away and now sat underneath the coffee table.

"You have to go." Edward said plainly. Edward shared a look with Bella. He had obviously heard everything that had been said on the phone. I didn't know why I thought I'd be able to hide it from them by going outside. I should have just sat in front of them. Same difference.

I sighed. "I had a really good time today. We should do it again, it was fun."

Bella smiled and nodded. Looking at her bought back the memory of Jacob and I this morning and I felt my chest tighten with guilt. I didn't know why I felt so bad about it considering here she was sitting with the love of her life and yet I felt like she still had a legitimate claim on Jacob. After all, I was only the one on the side, wasn't I? This was who Jacob truly wanted.

"Let me drop you off." Alice said, standing as I moved toward the door.

"No, it's okay. I could probably make it back there faster by myself anyway."

Alice laughed her twinkling laughter and shook her head. "I drive fast, trust me. Come on."

Bella stood and hugged me goodbye, pecking me on the cheek. She looked at me with worry on her face before she let go of me completely and quickly returned to her usual place at Edward side. Jasper raised his hand in a goodbye and I nodded towards him in acknowledgement.

"Come back whenever you like, Lani. It's really nice having you here." I giggled at Edward's formal tone and winked at him.

"Sure man. Be warned though, once you invite me round you won't be able to get rid of me." He laughed and shrugged.

"We'll deal with it."

Alice rolled her eyes and pulled me out the door. I yelled a goodbye to Esme and Carlisle whose voices returned a goodbye from somewhere in the house and then we were in Alice's very expensive porsch, speeding towards La Push. Alice rattled on about the specifics off her car and we talked about speed and how exhilarating it was. I loved that supernatural creatures seemed to share that one delight – speed.

When we got to the boundary, I reached for the car door.

"Thanks for the ride, Alice."

She smiled and squeezed my hand briefly. "Tell Jacob to lay off you and please come around again soon. Bella and Edward really like you and so do I."

I laughed and nodded, jumping out of her car. I closed the door and leaned in the open window. "Thanks again for the ride and today. It was a nice change from La Push. I'll see you at school."

She waved and turned around hazardously, skidding in the most professional fashion possible and then sped off into the night back to her palace in the forest.

I sighed as I ran the rest of the way into La Push. I wasn't looking forward to this 'meeting' and I certainly wasn't looking forward to seeing Jacob again. I felt like I'd never left him when I saw him again, sitting on the beach with the rest of the boys and Leah at the edge of a modest bonfire. He stood when he saw me approach and he immediately hugged me tightly as soon as he was within arms reach. I stiffened when I felt his arms around me and stepped back quickly. He seemed to take quick inventory of my body to make sure I was in once piece, frowning worriedly.

"Everything okay? There was no trouble was there?"

I rolled my eyes and sat down on a piece of driftwood next to Seth, who grinned at me in greeting. Ben was still not talking to me and watched Jake and I closely from the other side of the fire. I would have to get back on his good side soon.

"It was fine, Jacob. Like I said it would be."

He accepted that and took a seat next to me, his thigh leaning against mine. I gritted my teeth as my heart rate picked up again. He watched Sam on the other side of the fire and did not look at me as he leaned across to whisper into my ear, his hand creeping around to the small of my back. The heat of his hand through the fabric of my dress was intoxicating.

"By the way, you stink." I shivered at his breath in my ear and hit his leg as hard as I could. He grinned and continued to pretend that he was paying full attention to Sam.

I bit my lip as Sam stood. The elders sat on either side of him watching all of us – all of the pack – carefully. What was so important that we had to come together now?


	13. Chapter 13

"This afternoon, Jared and Paul found a scent in the forest. There is no doubt that this scent was that of the cold ones." Everyone around the bonfire was rapt with attention.

"We don't believe that it's the Cullen's and we haven't approached them yet about who it may be. Not only that but some of the younger ones are starting to change – We all know that it's only _their_ presence that brings the change so this can only mean that there are more out there."

The boys around the group shared knowing glances and some of them even looked eager. I shuddered involuntarily. I wondered who would be next to change. There weren't many kids left in La Push that were around our ages and I didn't want to think about the young ones changing. They were too young to be involved in this supernatural war. Sometimes I felt like it wasn't even really our fight.

"Starting tonight we will be patrolling the forest day and night. I know some of you will find it difficult but do not forget, without us – our families, our _people_, are left unprotected." Sam's words seemed to in still some sort of excitement in the boys and there were more eager looks shared.

"Also, after discussion with the council and the advice of Jacob, we believe that Bella Swann will turn soon."

I felt my heart stutter. I looked at Jacob and his face had hardened into an impenetrable mask. I stared at Sam across the fire. This couldn't be true. Bella wouldn't do that – she couldn't. Who would give up their lives like that? To live a life where you had to depend on the life of another person - where you had to _take_ the life of another person. Our legends told us how hard it was to be a new born vampire and even if she did take the Cullen's vegetarian lifestyle, how long would it take before she stopped 'slipping up'? I couldn't believe it was true. I had just seen her and she seemed happy enough in the vampire house without being one of them. Did her love for Edward go so far as suicide?

"I don't need to tell you what the treaty states if this happens. You all know what that will mean." Billy studied our faces individually as his gaze fell on us one by one.

I felt angry. First, at Bella for wanting to do this to herself (now that I thought about it, there was no doubt in my mind it was true. She loved Edward with an unhealthy vehemence) and second, at Sam for putting my pack brothers and even the new young ones in danger. I was torn between duty to the tribe and the idea of hurting my friends. Surely, Bella's choice transcended the treaty.

Jacob sat still at my side and I was even more appalled at him. He had essentially dobbed her in and thrown her to the wolves. He knew as well as anyone that Bella was willing to do anything to be with Edward. Did he not realise he would kill her if the rift got out of control between the tribe and the Cullen's? Had he not gotten over his personal hurt over their situation? _His_ unhealthy obsession with Bella Swann was going to hurt his brothers, his _family_ and either he hadn't thought about it or he thought it was a worthy sacrifice. His confidence in his own ability did not necessarily mean that no one else would get hurt.

I shook my head slowly and I saw his lips tighten into a hard line in my peripheral. We didn't need to phase for him to know exactly what I was thinking. He turned to me and his gaze said it all – _I don't regret a thing_. And my gaze was transparent too – _You're selfish_.

Sam seemed to relax and then he swept us up in a glowing smile. "It seems also, we have a new addition to our family. Paul has imprinted."

Jacob's expression only got worse and I raised an eyebrow. Billy seemed to shift uncomfortably but also wore a smile. Only then did I notice Jacob's sister on the side of the fire with Paul, hand in hand. I almost laughed. What an unlikely couple and yet when I watched them next to each other there was no doubt that two of life's puzzle pieces had come together in perfect harmony. Imprinting had never ceased to astound me and the pack had often mused about how this 'rare occurrence' was happening uncomfortably often. I tended to agree.

Sam went over who would be running over the next couple of days and then the night eased back into the easy La Push atmosphere. I could tell the boys were eager to discuss whose scent may have been in the forest today but when Emily appeared with baskets of food to pass around all business was left forgotten for the moment.

I stood as soon as Sam had finished talking and moved to the other side of the fire. I shuffled in next to Ben who tried unsuccessfully to ignore me. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist before he could protest.

"When are you going to forgive me, big brother?" We both gazed at the fire.

"When are you going to stop doing stupid things?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I leant my head against his shoulder and squeezed him gently.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

He let out of a gusty sigh and squeezed me back gently. I grinned up at him. "See, that wasn't so hard."

He shook his head and laughed. "I hate being on the outs with you."

"Me too. So just accept that I fuck up sometimes. And I'll accept your annoying girlfriends."

"Where did that come from?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

I laughed and shrugged. "I needed to get something bad on you. It was the first thing I could think of."

I felt like I hadn't seen Ben in a while and now that we were talking again, I felt my heart ease. After the disaster of a morning with Jacob and the unsettling news we had just been told, all I wanted to do was hang out with my brother. We talked for a while about nothing in particular. He wasn't happy when he found out I'd gone to see the Cullen's but seemed to be okay with it, considering I had come back in one piece. He went on to give a lengthy speech about what he did and didn't want me doing while I was running with the pack this week and I let it go in one ear and out the other, nodding and 'mmm-ing' at appropriate times. When he noticed I was hardly listening he nudged me in the side.

"Yo, Lans. Are you even listening to me?"

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm listening." I said, as once again my gaze slid to Jacob. I gritted my teeth and scolded myself. I couldn't believe that I had fallen into this. Our easy friendship should have been enough but my attraction to him was without proper reason. Hanging out with Jacob was effortless and the way we read each other's minds sometimes, I felt like he knew me just as well as Ben did. Besides the obvious fact that he was beautiful with a near perfect body (I had to stop thinking like this) – Jacob just had an infectiously good nature. You didn't have to labour to understand him and there was something delightful in that. He could make everyone laugh and his pride and strength in the tribe attracted everyone to him.

I stopped myself before I found more reasons to want to kiss him and touch him and... urgh!

Ben followed my gaze and he frowned. "What happened between you two anyway?"

I shrugged, trying to act casual. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

He snorted and took a bite out of a piece of Emily's freshly baked bread. "How many times do I have to tell you, I know you better than anyone? I saw the way he was touching you before. Something must have happened if he's picked up his balls enough to start with his poorly hidden PDA."

The heat rose in my cheeks and I punched him in the arm. He wasn't concerned in the least about my weak attempt at violence and continued to watch me for an answer.

"Nothing happened. I told you – It wouldn't be a good idea. So that's that." I reached over to take a sausage roll of his plate and took a bite. "Besides, I'm not happy he did that to Bella. It's not right."

Ben shrugged. "I think he's right. If you loved someone would you let them kill themselves?"

When he put it like that I could understand but the feeling of being torn between two friends was still there. I ignored the painful squeeze in my chest when I realised for the thousandth time the unbreakable connection between Jacob and Bella. I rubbed my chest with my hand without realising.

The rest of the night was fun - In every sense of the word. Sitting around with my best friend, my brother and my pack was so much fun that I found it hard knowing that eventually the night would end. I laughed so much I was out of breath by the end of the night. Quill, Paul and Jacob's bickering was entertainment enough for everyone. I spoke a little to Rachel who also made allusions to Jacob's bizarre behaviour towards me when I arrived and I gave the same answer I always did. "We're just friends!" I thought to say best friends but I already knew that I did not hold that title. That belonged to someone else.

When Seth fell asleep with his head on Leah's lap and Billy had been taken home by the other older tribe members, there were only a few of us left. Rachel and Paul wandered home and Leah shook her little brother awake and nudged him back up the beach, bleary eyed. Ben yawned loudly and stretched, nudging me in the shoulder. "Come on Lans, let's head home. I'm gonna take a quick nap before I run."

I yawned too and let him tug me to my feet.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Jacob had suddenly appeared at my side. I looked at Ben nervously.

"It's late Jake, can't it wait?" Ben asked.

"We won't be long. I'll bring her home when we're done." I rolled my eyes. Trust him to deliver me to the door step. Well, we would see about that.

Ben frowned slightly but nodded. He leaned across to kiss my forehead. "Come home soon." I nodded and watched him walk away before turning back to Jacob.

"I'm really tired man. Are you sure this can't wait?"

He frowned slightly and took my hand, leading me away from the bonfire. "If I wait, you'll avoid me for the rest of the week."

He really did know me far too well.


	14. Author's Note

**Author's Note: Apologies & Explanations.**

I'm really sorry about:

...this belated disclaimer. I don't know how essential these are to fanfiction but if it's needed then this is Stephenie Meyer's world. I'm just hanging out in it for a while.

...my poor grammatical skill and _extremely_ poor editing skill. You will find missing words and bad apostrophe usage. I will eventually cure this.

...you labouring through my lengthy and convoluted passages. I have always had bad sentence structure and you've probably found that you need to read sentences once or twice for them to make sense. I'm really sorry!

...The confusing chronology of the events. You may be confused about why certain things that did indeed happen in the story are happening at random in mine. (eg. Rachel and Paul, Jacob's Rabbit, the tribe considering that Bella may change etc) SO, if you're confused that's cool. I am too. I could have gone and referenced it by looking through the books but then I thought – This is fanfiction so I will bend Twilight to my will a little bit.

...you having to read this. Ha.

E x


	15. Chapter 14

Jacob led me to the spot where we had first had our conversation about 'truth'. It was ironically appropriate. When he finally let go of my hand we sat on the sand next to each other and said nothing. Our shoulders touched and our combined heat created an envelope of warmth around the both of us. Where our bodies touched, I felt a trail of Jacob emblazoned onto my skin.

"Is it time to talk about it?" I asked quietly, watching the waves drift onto the shore.

He nodded slightly, "If that's okay."

I laughed bitterly and shrugged. "Better now than later, I guess."

He sighed next to me and I felt him shift slightly. "I'm sorry – About this morning."

"Don't apologise. It's not like it was anyone's fault." I rubbed my chest absently as I felt the nervousness return. I wanted desperately to embrace the heat that had suddenly appeared. Anxiety always seemed to coax it out of my system – ready to save me.

"I wish you wouldn't worry about her, you know." I looked at him surprised.

"Meaning?"

He shook his head and gave me his trademark crooked grin. "Bella. You worry about me and her all the time."

I frowned slightly and looked away again. More shame. I shouldn't have been surprised that I was transparent. Not to Jake anyway. I thought of Ben then and wished he was here to do the explaining for me. If I could transfer my voice to him he'd be able to get clarity out of my jumbled feelings. He always seemed to figure out my thoughts before I did.

"Can you not understand why I might worry?" I sighed again and rubbed my face trying to come up with the right things to say without A, embarrassing myself and B, creating more misunderstanding between him and I. We were silent for a moment longer before I spoke.

"Jake... you know when we were in the garage the other day and I said you were close to me too?" He nodded silently.

"Well, that was the truth. You're... my closest friend. I respect you... I look up to you... I _care_ about you. I want you to be happy. I see... what it does to you, to watch Bella and Edward together like they are. And I understand. Truly, I do." I spoke slowly and tried to emphasise every word, in stilling every sentence with utter sincerity.

"All I have ever wanted for you, Jacob... is happiness. Because you," I smiled, taking his hands in mine and squeezed them gently between my own. "_You_ are a sun. Bella's sun. The pack's sun. _My_ sun. And to see you unhappy makes _me _unhappy. And I hate that." I bought his hands up to lips and kissed each of his palms gently.

"I hate it _so much_." I whispered.

When I looked up his expression was frustrated – almost angry. I contained the shock before it reached my face.

"Can I not feel that way about you then? Is that so unfair?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back on the heels of hands, looking back out to the dark ocean. "Of course not but this isn't about me. It's about you. I feel like you put me in your equation when it's not me that's supposed to be there – it's Bella."

He stood up abruptly and ran frustrated hands through his growing dark locks.

"You know what? That pisses me off so much. This... _obsession_ you have with Bella! You say it's not about you but it is!" He was pacing in front of me and I saw his palms shake as the frustration in him built. He had obviously been waiting to get all this out.

"For once, can't you just focus on me and you?" He was looking at me pleadingly now, his eyes beseeching.

I stood too. His frustration had become contagious and I felt like we were lost in translation. I was trying to say what I felt and so was he but it was coming out all wrong. We were too caught up in the moment now to slow down and think through what we were saying. In this state it was entirely possible we would say things we didn't mean – our words having the potential to come out the wrong way.

"What does that even mean?! 'Me and you'?" We were facing each other now, the ocean and the beach our only audience.

"This morning when I kissed you, did it mean anything to you at all?" He asked his voice filled with doubt.

I frowned. "Of course it did! To _me_! How much did it mean to _you_?! Or was Bella on your mind the whole time?"

And there it was. The unintentional words that told him everything he probably already knew - That I was jealous of Bella and too insecure and frightened to be anymore than his friend. A number of expressions crossed his face then. First shock and then hurt and then the inevitable anger. He was shaking from head to foot and he'd gone back to pacing.

"That's fucked, Lani. That is so fucken weak of you to say." He spat the words at me and to cover the hurt, I let the heat take over. I let it embrace me like a lover, saturating my body, flowing from limb to limb and back to my chest and my stomach.

"Then put it to me straight, Jacob. Tell me – What do you want from me? Tell me that you're over Bella Swann." My words were hot and I hoped they burnt right through to his already broken heart. My frustration made my thoughts vicious.

He froze and stood still. He said nothing. For the thousandth time this evening his expression changed again. His eyes were apologetic and I wasn't sure if he realised his hands were reaching toward me. I took a step back and shook my head, a cold smile reaching across my face.

"Pathetic." I said simply. Before I had uttered the words I knew he couldn't tell me that he didn't love Bella Swann anymore. Having it confirmed still hurt though.

In one stride he was in front of, grasping my arms violently. He spoke so intensely that I felt the words rain onto my face, his meaning seeping into my skin and into my heart.

"You are not Bella. And I don't care!" He spoke desperately. I did not move, stiffening in his grasp.

"I can't _not_ touch you. I can't _not_ want to be around you. I can't _not_ want to kiss you. You're the only one that makes me forget about all this supernatural shit. When we're together none of that werewolf-vampire shit matters, it's just Leilani and Jacob being who they are - Not protectors, friends, siblings – We're just us... and that's what I want."

His voice was back to his usual huskiness and his hands had taken my face in his large hands. He looked deep into my eyes and willed me to try and understand. "You say you want me to be happy and when I'm with you, I _am_."

I opened my mouth to protest but he silenced me with a finger to my lips. The heat simmered. "Just don't think about Bella for a minute. Think about you and me." He only removed his finger from my mouth when he was sure I wasn't going to debate.

He peered into my face expectantly. "Do you get anything at all of what I'm saying?"

I looked back at him, swayed but still ultimately unconvinced. His closeness and the intensity of his words had bought back my fluttering heart and I reached down to take his hand. He said nothing as I took his palm and pushed it under the strap of my dress and onto the skin over my heart. I had no doubt that the erratic speed of my heart could be felt quite easily through my skin.

"_That_ is what you do me, Jacob. And it's terrifying."

My mind was a whirlwind of emotions. The conversation had taken so many soaring and diving directions that I almost felt dizzy. The heat of Jacob's hand on my skin eventually bought me back to the present and I realised again how close he was standing to me. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, listening to my erratic heart beats.

I bit my lip, embarrassed. So now he knew beyond a doubt that I was beyond physical control when he was around. Great. I sighed and looked up at him. Our anger and frustration seemed to be spent and we were back to that easy "Leilani and Jacob" state. I would never be able to fathom our fighting and our reconciliations.

But he was still Jacob though. My Jacob.

"Having a good listen?" I asked quietly, his hand still over my heart.

He smiled slightly and nodded, leaning across to kiss my forehead. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, hugging me closely. "Yes... and it sounds beautiful." He murmured into my hair.

I snorted and pulled back, laughing. "I have the heart rate of a scared animal and you think it's beautiful."

He laughed too and _that_ sounded beautiful. "Well, it is. As long as it's because of me."

I rolled my eyes and shoved his chest lightly. "It is. That's the problem."

He reached up to run his thumb along my jaw and then my lips as I shuddered. "So, where does this leave us?" He asked quietly.

I met his gaze guardedly. "I don't know, Jacob. There's so much happening right now and I feel like there's something coming - something big. Is it the right time to be doing this?"

"Just say we can try. Please. _Please._" He eyes were searching mine and I sighed.

When I didn't say anything he leaned up gently to run his fingers down my long braid and then his hands were cupping my face. Every action was gentle, every look, every part of his crooked smile. He leaned up to kiss my forehead softly and then his lips brushed my eyes and then my nose and my cheeks. They left a trailing blaze across my skin, his mouth then running along my jaw. I shuddered under his touch, terrified of moving in case he took away his warmth. When his lips touched mine I felt the heat that I had felt this morning intensified.

This was not complicated. This was not wrong.

My hands moved of their own volition. I wanted desperately to feel his skin underneath my palms – a justification for my mind in making sure that this moment was not a dream. I let my fingers trail up his neck and then underneath his sweat shirt, to his shoulders, to his chest. I wanted desperately for the sweat shirt to disappear entirely.

Jacob pushed against me gently, deepening the kiss, our tongues suddenly dancing together. The heat was unbearable but I knew that as soon as I moved away I wouldn't be able to bear the cool air without being as close to him as possible. My heart stuttered again as his hands moved to my hips.

I think I may have been pouting when he finally pulled away from me. He laughed softly and put his forehead to mine, kissing me quickly again and again. We were both breathing heavily but we did not move any further away from each other. I stroked the side of his face softly as our gazes locked together.

"So...?" He asked quietly. A hint of his smirk appeared.

"Let's just see how we go." I said as quickly as possible before I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again, lost in the heat.


	16. Chapter 15

If I was obsessed before I had no name for what I was now. The problem with establishing a 'thing' with Jake was that now I had 'access' to him I couldn't help myself. Sam's patrol duties were gruelling and keeping up with school work was a struggle but any time I wasn't doing these things I was with Jacob. We had decided not to tell anyone and just let it come out when it was ready. We couldn't stop the pack from picking apart our thoughts but they avoided talking to us about it and no one mentioned it when they saw us together. We struggled not to touch each other when we were around the pack in our human forms and when we were alone we struggled to keep our hands off each other. The passion was intoxicating and my fixation with Jacob overwhelmed everything else in my life.

Ben grew distant from me and the further away he grew the closer I became to Jacob. If we were apart the whole day Jacob would climb the two stories to my window in the night. When we ran through the forest, he was never far from my thoughts and when Sam finally let him go to sleep I was by his side for as long as possible before it was my turn to run the lines around La Push.

I only went back to the Cullen's house once more after the first time and everything was different. I had no doubt that Edward had already picked up my thoughts of Jacob and for the rest of the day, Bella had avoided me completely. Alice and I had spent time talking in their lounge about superficial things and I was gone before midday, unable to get Jacob out of my thoughts – Missing him was the most uncomfortable feeling.

I forgot about Jacob's love for Bella for a while too caught up in our unhealthy obsession with each other. My parents became worried about me and all the time I spent away from home. Mum and dad had cornered me one night after coming home late and voiced their concerns about my growing distance from Ben. I reassured them that we were as close as we had ever been but they were unconvinced. I didn't blame them and yet I couldn't bring myself to remember existing for anyone else. Jacob consumed everything.

One night as I phased back and made for home, Sam stopped me at the edge of the forest. He had snuck up on me and I jumped in surprise as he appeared from behind a low line of shrubs.

"Jesus! Sam, you frightened me."

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

This couldn't be good. I nodded and waited.

"You and Jacob." Wow. He got straight to the point. I sighed.

"What about me and Jacob?" I asked quietly.

He hesitated and frowned in concentration, obviously trying to find the right words to say without upsetting me.

"Say whatever's on your mind Sam. Let's be frank." I guessed what he was about to say before he said it and though I shouldn't have been surprised, the irritation sprung forth.

"I need your minds down to business but that won't happen if you two carry on like you're doing now." I frowned.

"I don't think it's any of your business." I snapped.

He was calm and collected. "Edward and Bella's wedding is in a month. Jacob doesn't know yet but I think you should be the one to tell him."

I blinked, shocked. Married? How would Jacob feel about this? Did I even want to know?

"Bella will tell him. I know she will." My voice was cold.

Sam's eyebrows knitted together and he watched me in silence for a moment. "And if she doesn't, will you?"

I frowned and shook my head, turning away. "It won't come to that. Bella will tell him and Jacob will do what he feels is right. I'll accept whatever he wants to do about it."

I said nothing more and walked away from Sam. I felt his eyes on me as I broke the tree line and as soon as I was sure he was out of sight, I broke into a sprint all the way back home. I crawled into bed and left my window open for Jake. When he climbed into my room half an hour later, I met him at the window, my mouth crashing into his.

His arms went around me immediately and he picked me up easily, pulling me close to him as my legs wrapped around his waist. When he tried to pull away, I gripped him more tightly. With my eagerness he seemed to forget about pulling away from me at that moment and then we were on my bed. He put me down gently but we were not apart for long.

Our hands were everywhere. I wanted to feel every part of him. I wanted to remember every plane of his body, every muscle, every smooth surface. Our lips did not part and I let my palms run across his abdomen, stroking and letting my fingers play across every part of his naked torso. I kissed his lips, his eyes, his chest, his collarbone.

Running my lips over his skin, must have been like water from the top of a tall mountain, rushing over rocks that had been warmed by the sun. My mouth knew no boundaries, flowing effortlessly over the smoothest terrain my lips had ever touched. The smell of his skin spoke of warmth and nature – Heaven and earth. In that moment I was taken. My stomach felt like it had dropped away – I loved him. Truly. Desperately. And then all the things about Bella I had forgotten were suddenly very real and very apparent.

I hadn't realised I was crying until he finally pulled away from me.

"Lani? Babe? What's wrong?" He crushed me to him and I buried my face in his chest, breathing in his scent. He ran light fingers through my hair and rocked me gently. I could not feel the tears leaving me and I didn't sob. It was only when I tasted the saltiness that my tears had left on his chest that I realised how pathetically upset I was.

He kissed my hair as his hands moved to my back, his fingers slipping under the bottom of my shirt, stroking my lower back softly.

"You never cry – its heart breaking." He whispered in my ear gently. He peered into my face and his expression looked worried.

I summoned a grin and pulled away to wipe my eyes, running a hand through my ridiculously long hair. I busied myself with twisting it around my finger and pulling it over my shoulder, trying to put it into some sort of order.

"What a baby, Lani." I muttered, hoping to get a smile out of him.

He did not smile only continued to look worried. "Not that I'm complaining, but the welcome I got just now wasn't normal. Do you wanna tell me what's up?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

He gave me a soft smile and pulled me to him again. "You won't feel better about it if you don't tell me, you know."

I smiled up at him sadly and looked away again. _It's not me that I'm worried about_, I thought but I did not say it aloud. "It's nothing. Just had a shit day. But you've made it better again." I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist, as I put my ear to his chest. The sound of his heart was rhythmic and comforting. I closed my eyes and let out a contented sigh.

He truly had made it better. And yet the nagging feeling that this was never supposed to have happened wouldn't leave me. I had known it as soon as soon as I'd seen him on the beach with Embry that day. It seemed so long ago now. I couldn't help but feel that the reason I had shied away from him and this 'situation' was because deep down I knew, it was never meant to be. I believed that. But I persevered. Why?

I put my palm to his chest and timed the beats of his heart with strokes of my fingers across his skin.

I turned my head slightly and kissed the skin on his chest softly. I felt him shudder under my lips. "Can your hear it, Jacob? It's my heart – it lives here inside you." I whispered. I kissed his chest again and then he was pushing me forcefully onto my back, his breathing heavy.

He kissed me roughly, his hands running up my sides, tugging my shirt upwards and over my head. This all felt so wrong. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong two people - but I couldn't bring myself to tell him to stop. I only wanted to be closer to him. As close as possible – so close that we were one. So close that no one would tear us apart again.

His mouth left blazing trails on my shoulder, to my chest, to my stomach. I was on fire. The room could have been burning to the ground and I wouldn't have noticed. Every time we had gotten to this point we had always pulled back. Sex bought consequences and without admitting it to each other, potential regret. I loved him, yes but I had never voiced it and neither had he.

I suddenly felt guilty. Not telling him about Bella and Edward's wedding made me feel like I was lying to him even though it wasn't my business or my secret. I knew Sam had only told me to give me that feeling exactly - To push me to the point where I would want to tell Jacob if only to get his reaction. I felt like a fraud as Jacob stopped setting my body on fire with his mouth and leaned up to look at me. How had his fingers made it to the waist of my shorts? His fingers lingered over the button on my shorts, his intense gaze asking for permission.

Looking back at him, I suddenly felt sad. Bereaved. I closed my eyes briefly and tried to focus again. I pushed him away gently and stood, covering my chest with my arm. I swiped my t-shirt from the floor where it had been discarded and pulled it on in one fluid movement. Jacob stared at me, moving to sit on the edge of the bed as I paced around the room.

"Tell me." He said simply. He didn't sound impatient but I was afraid that if I didn't tell him now, he would get angry. We were uncannily alike in that respect.

"Edward and Bella-"

He cut me off before I could finish. "I can't believe you're bringing this up again, Lani." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and looked at me, injured that I had pulled away because of _her_.

"Just listen. They're..." I couldn't look him as I said it and I leaned against the window sill, looking out into the night. "They're getting married next month. I know that Bella will tell you when she's ready but Sam cornered me tonight and as soon as I saw you, I had to tell you. Keeping it from you would've killed me."

I wrapped my arms around my waist and sighed. "I wanted you to know."

There was silence for a long time. When he didn't say anything I got worried and turned to find him, staring at the ground, a look of grief on his face. He was unhappy now and it was because I had opened my big mouth. For someone who was pained to see him unhappy I hadn't done a very job of avoiding it. He didn't move when I shuffled onto the bed behind him and wrapped my arms around him gently. He didn't seem so big anymore. He seemed to be in shock so I didn't say anything, just held him as he turned slightly to bury his face in my neck. And then, Jake cried - Three silent tears, his body shaking with a mix of rage and sadness. I held him tightly and rocked him gently as I kissed his forehead and his temple.

"Sshh..." I whispered nothings, hoping that my voice would calm him eventually.

I should have been jealous and upset that Bella still occupied so much of his heart but I didn't. I just felt frustrated by the fact that despite all this time, I still hadn't been able to cure him. I wanted to fix his broken heart but how was I supposed to do that when I couldn't even shut my mouth at the right time.

Eventually Jake stopped shaking and he took my hand as he pulled back the blankets and tugged me underneath with him. We said nothing and just lay there, facing each other. When he took my hands and dragged them around his shoulders, he lay his head on my chest and wrapped his own arms around my waist. He put his lips against my neck gently and sighed.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

I frowned slightly and squeezed him gently. "Don't be. I understand."

He lay still and kissed my neck softly.

"I hate him, Lani." He whispered coldly.

I nodded slowly but said nothing, letting my fingers stroke his back.

"I shouldn't but I do. He makes her happy, you know? I can admit that. But I know what Bella's like and I know that eventually, he'll give her what she wants. He'll end her life to make her happy."

"I know, Jake." I whispered. I was his friend then doing my best to listen and to understand.

"I don't want to be angry at her anymore, Lans. I don't want to blame her anymore."

I sighed and pulled back a little, to peer into his face.

"Then forgive her. She misses you, you know. And I know you miss her too." And it was true. I saw it written on Bella's face whenever I happened to catch her glance at school. I knew it when I had gone over to the Cullen's the first time and even now, I knew it as Jake flinched at the sound of her name.

He reached up to run fingers down my cheek gently.

I smiled slightly and closed my eyes as he leaned across to brush his lips against mine.

"How can you be so understanding about this? Shouldn't you be angry?" He whispered, leaning his forehead against mine.

I grinned and shrugged. "I like Bella. And I guess you're all alright," He poked me in the stomach and looked indignant as I turned my face into the pillow, laughing. When I calmed down I looked back at him, a genuine smile creeping across my face.

"I don't want to be running around the forest for the rest of my life, fighting and watching my brothers and sisters get hurt. The only way to avoid that is if we start making some peace. I don't know how you feel about Bella right now or if you'll still hate Edward when this is all over but I don't think the Cullen's are a threat. Whatever else is out there, we would be far better off if we all worked together. I know that they want nothing more than to be left alone too."

Jacob rolled his eyes but didn't offer any rebuttal of his own to my argument.

"Go and talk to her. Tomorrow. It'll keep bothering you if you don't." He sighed and nodded. "Forgive her, Jacob. Get it out in the open."

He was silent for a moment, watching me closely. After a while, he spoke. "I love Bella..."

I smiled sadly and nodded, my chest constricting painfully.

"I know you do. That's okay. I've known that the whole time."

He frowned slightly and pulled me closer to him, his hands tugging my leg over his hip as he leant his forehead to mine again. "I love Bella but I love _you_ too."

I smiled sadly and nodded. "Yeah... and that's enough for me."

But it wasn't. It wasn't enough for me. I was lying to him and I didn't even care. What would come would come and if I lost my Jacob then I would deal with it when the time came. Because I was a rock. Unbreakable.

Ha. I almost laughed right there and then but as I heard Jacob's soft snores I thought better of it. If I didn't get to sleep now, his snoring would only get louder and then I'd never be able to get rest. More than that, I just wanted to stop thinking for a while – to stop feeling.


	17. Chapter 16

Jacob was gone by the time I woke up. My arm reached out automatically for his form next to me but touched nothing but an empty pillow and blankets. I sighed and turned over, rubbing my eyes. I knew I wouldn't see him for the rest of the day.

When I finally managed to get myself out of bed and into the shower, I fought the need to go back to sleep under the warmth of the water. I got changed lazily and trudged downstairs. As I rummaged around the fridge, I heard Ben's light footsteps come up the driveway and through the front door. I had my head stuck in the fridge by the time he made it to the threshold of the kitchen.

"How was it?"

"Fine. No scents. No trouble. Pretty fucken pointless if you ask me." He muttered the last part and took a seat on one of the bar stools.

I grabbed a bag of grapes from the bench and dropped them in front of us. He looked horrible – Tired and worn. I couldn't remember a time when I had seen my brother so rugged. He caught me watching him and raised an eyebrow lazily.

"What?"

"You look like shit, man." I said, putting a grape into my mouth.

He looked unimpressed and shrugged. "Blame Sam."

"Oh, I do. What are we waiting for anyway? The way he acts, it's like we're about to go to war or something."

Ben nodded agreement and put four grapes into his mouth, swallowing after one chew. "Yeah. He wants us to do some crazy training exercise. He thinks we need to co-ordinate ourselves better in a fight. I don't know how he knows that when we haven't even had the chance to kill anything yet." I flinched at the glint in his eyes as he mentioned killing.

"You sound like the other boys. As soon as there's a mention of a vampire they're hyped – it's weird."

Ben shrugged again. "Guess it's in the genes."

I snorted and picked at the last of the grapes (much to Ben's annoyance). "Well, it's not in mine. I don't care if vampire's slaughter children – I still don't think I could kill one. Ripping someone to small pieces doesn't give me kicks. Straight up sick, man."

Ben had made his way to the fridge again and was putting different ingredients on the bench in preparation for his daily breakfast - Scrambled eggs, six pieces of bacon and half a loaf of bread. My stomach grumbled. "Put on some for me too, bro."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure sure."

We were silent for a while as he pottered around the kitchen. I made no effort to say anything more and busied myself reading a four day old newspaper that sat unread on the bench.

"So where is he?" It sounded innocent enough but I felt the tension suddenly appear.

"The Cullen's, I think." I pretended to be distracted with the paper and didn't elaborate.

He laughed and shook his head. He beat the eggs a little too enthusiastically and seemed to share a joke with himself. I felt the irritation erupt from my centre and tried to push it back down. It wouldn't help to fight with Ben this morning. Not after we'd spent so much time apart lately.

"Do I even want to know what's funny?"

He laughed darkly and continued to shake his head. "Probably not."

I rolled my eyes and grit my teeth as I went back to the paper. Better not to say anything save an argument erupt. I shouldn't have been surprised that Ben kept on though. I knew I'd been snobbing him off but admitting it made me uncomfortable. After all, the reason why I hadn't spent time with Ben was because of Jacob. And was it justified? What was so much better about spending all my time with Jacob? Would I gain something more if I wasn't hanging out with Ben and my other friends every once and a while? I didn't want to know the answer. More because it came down to one thing – Was Jacob worth it?

When Ben put my plate in front of me, I was ravenous. I mumbled a 'thanks' after shoving a piece of toast into my mouth and we continued in silence for a while longer until the hunger had disappeared and we were in the contented stages of eating. I stopped when I felt Ben watching me. I put my fork down and sighed.

"What is it? Can we not even sit down in the same room and eat without it being tense?"

He frowned and stabbed his fork into a piece of bacon. His scowl was frightening. I never liked fighting with Ben – Serious fighting.

"Just say it, Ben. Everyone else wants to put in their two cents so go for it." I sat back and folded my arms.

Ben's eyes narrowed and he leaned forward as his words dropped from his mouth, hot. "You're a hypocrite. After you bitched about me being hung up on Moana and Jacob being depressed about Bella, now you're the one pushing everyone away for some guy. You've completely forgotten about your friends at school. You don't even sit next to those leeches anymore. And you know the worse part, Lans? You can't even spare an afternoon to see how I'm doing – To see if _I_ want to hang out. I thought we were tight. It's just... shit!"

His words were like knives and they stung as he went on. He spoke quickly and he had obviously been holding it in for a while now. With each word I felt more guilt.

"It's not healthy man, all this time you guys are spending together. I know he comes into your room at night – what if mum and dad find out? They'll be angry and then they'll be hurt! They hardly see you anymore. They're worried about you, Lans." He paused and he seemed to have calmed down.

"Do you even care?" He asked quietly. "Do you even care that they miss you? That _I_ miss you?" His anger was gone and he looked sad.

I was frozen. He was right. What had I been thinking? After the conversation Jacob and I had had last night, everything that Ben said now seemed to be emphasised. He was right about everything. All the people that loved me were still loving me but all my attention had been refocused to Jacob and I couldn't explain why. It didn't seem fair that I have this 'thing' with Jacob, all my doubt included, and still find it in me to forget about the other people that meant something to me. I was guilty as charged.

"I'm sorry." What else could I say? Ben continued to look hurt though. I sighed and stood, moving around to his side of the bench. I wrapped my around his shoulders from behind, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"You're right. I just... Jacob's always on my mind. It's like... I can't function if I don't get a dose!" I sounded like a crazy person and Ben only rolled his eyes as he returned my embrace with a gentle squeeze.

When I sat back down he considered me quietly. "How do you know that isn't just what it is? An obsession? An addiction?"

I grimaced. "It's more than that. It's like, I don't know... It actually physically hurts when he's away from me for too long." I made a face and blushed when Ben looked ready to laugh.

"Okay, I know it sounds wack but... argh! I can't explain it. But it drives me nuts! I don't think he gets it like I do which is why it makes it so much worse."

"You're spending too much time with him, Lani. Seriously. You need to ease up."

"Argh, but I can't." I was whining now and Ben looked slightly amused.

"Ok, hold up. Let me get this straight. He's at the Cullen's right now and I assume he's still into Bella and you're... what? Sitting here? Totally sweet with it?"

I frowned slightly. "Well, when you put it like that it sounds bad. But it's not. He's going over there to get shit out in the open. You know, forgive her and what not."

I stood up and swiped our plates from the bench, busying myself at the sink. I was perfectly aware that I was babbling. "I guess you heard that Edward and Bella are getting married next month or something and that's cool but I think Jake needs to go make his peace with Bella. He seems resolved about it all. I think he's truly ready to get over this beef he's got with Edward and then maybe things can go back to normal. Maybe we can just go back to normal La Push. I really like Bella and-"

I felt warm hands on my shoulders and I sighed. I turned to find Ben's worried gaze.

"Are you okay? Really okay with all of this, Lani?"

I shrugged. "I have to be."

Ben took my face in his hands, frowning. "You don't have to do anything if you don't want to. How can you be with someone when you know they want to be with someone else?" He asked quietly.

My gaze made its way to the floor and I held my breath, hoping that I wouldn't start crying over something as stupid as this. There was so much more to life than Jake and I was forgetting that by the minute.

"I can't." I murmured.

Ben let out a gusty sigh and enveloped me in one of his warm, brotherly hugs. "Maybe you should just give this whole 'thing' a break. Ground yourself again. You might think you've been happy this last month but when you don't notice, I see you're not happy at all with this situation."

I said nothing, just buried my face in his chest and nodded.

"Think about it."

I nodded and sighed again. When I pulled back, I looked at my weathered brother, tired and worn and realised I had missed him too. More than I'd realised.

"I'm sorry about lately. I really am. I've missed Ben and Lani time too." Ben grinned and reached over to muss my hair.

"Apology accepted. Now, let's clean this shit up and then go for a surf." I laughed and considered him again.

"Actually, you have a nap and _then_ we'll go for a surf."

Ben let out a yawn and then nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, good idea. Give me a couple hours and then we're off." I was about to reply but I could already hear his footsteps dragging themselves up the stairs and into his room.


	18. Chapter 17

By the time Ben and I made it to the beach it felt like no time had passed between us. When there was no one left beside me, Ben would always be there. I knew that beyond anything else. When we hit the ocean, the swell took us out and I felt the familiar thrill of riding a wave. I hadn't realised how much I missed doing these things for fun; surfing, running, swimming. It's like all of that had disappeared after Jacob had become more than my friend. I grimaced at the thought.

We must have been out in the surf for three hours before we drifted in to shore. Tucking our boards under our arms, we caught sight of Embry and Quill waiting for us in the sand. We slipped into easy banter and were quickly laughing about frivolous teenage things, duty and supernatural business long forgotten. Somehow we had ended up at Sam's. Embry was at work talking Emily into making us something delicious and Ben and Quill were out in their front yard with the other boys, minus Leah, chucking around a football.

I talked to Emily for a while and helped her prepare this and that for the meal. When she asked where Jacob was I shrugged and gave her the same answer I'd given Ben. She raised her eyebrow when I told her but didn't ask further. I didn't tell her anymore than that. No doubt she would hear eventually from Sam. I had successfully spent most of my day without Jacob and without missing him – I didn't want to start now.

When I went outside to see the boys, I made a face when they asked me to join their game. I had no interest in grid iron and they laughed raucously at me for suggesting that there was a better sport. I shrugged and contented myself with beading an anklet I had absently started constructing while at the beach.

I successfully avoided a ball to the face when Quill yelled out, "Lans! Think fast!"

My wolf reflexes kicked in at exactly the right time and I caught the flying mass before it could devastate my face. A low growl escaped my throat as I caught it and Quill threw his head back, laughing.

"Nice catch!" He choked out, his face filled with hysteria.

I narrowed my eyes and stood. Like when I had attempted to punch Jacob, it seemed like I pulled back my arm in slow motion. My superhuman senses kicked in and I felt the muscles in my arm tingle with the heat. The ball was the means, Quill the target, my strength – the fuel. Quill was busy sharing a joke with Paul as the ball left my hand and went hurtling towards his eye. As soon as it hit, the force from my throw jerked his head backwards and his hand quickly flew to his head. I smirked as everyone froze. There was silence for a second before all the boys were laughing hysterically.

Quill gave me a dirty look as I winked at him. "Nice catch!" I mimicked.

Quill scowled at me and I laughed as his expression quickly changed to a grin. "You've got a good arm, Lani. Why don't you show us a game?"

I grinned. "You couldn't keep up."

"Oh, yeah? Try me." I laughed and shook my head, as I caught the flying return of the ball into my hands.

"Alright. Benny, touch?" Ben rolled his eyes and gave me a lazy grin.

"They won't get it, little sister."

"No no, I'm keen. It can't be that hard." Quill said confidently. We continued our banter and joking until it had almost turned into a wrestling match and Sam had to intervene. I kicked him in the knee as I grabbed the ball and made my way to the far side of the yard. He laughed and tugged my hair gently as I moved to stand next to Embry.

"Alright, fine. Let's play." I glared at Quill and unable to keep a straight face, I grinned at him.

"Ben and I are captains seeing as none of you chumps know how to play. Objective of the game is to ground the ball past the try line. Kind of like your stupid grid iron except you can't just run over the line, you've got to make sure the ball hits the ground while it's in your possession. No dropping it or it's no point. Sam can referee."

The boys were listening raptly now as they divided themselves between Ben and I.

"Six touch!" Ben interjected. "You can only pass the ball backwards. _Normal_ people usually just touch and you have to dummy the ball but seeing as we're not normal, it's full on tackle."

"Which means," I took over. "Unless the defence gets you on the ground, anything goes. Remember, the objective is to get over the try line."

The boys grinned at each other and Emily and Rachel tittered from the porch. Leah had turned up somewhere in between our recalling of the rules and moved to stand on Ben's side. At least we were even now.

"Once you're tackled, the defence retreats ten metres before the attacking line can move again. Ben's put up six touch so once you've had men down six times, the other team gets the ball. Same if you drop the ball during a pass or while you're running with possession."

Ben demo'd dummy half and then we were ready. I had Embry, Jared and Seth and took them through a brief game plan. The result was hilarious. Sam seemed to be the only one that had taken immaculate notice of the rules. The ball was passed forward so many times that Ben and I had to stop and explain the rules again. Once they'd gotten used to the passing rule as well as the dummy half, the game had finally begun to take some flow. When Emily called us for food, Quill, Jared, Paul and Seth protested and asked for another half an hour.

By the time Emily and Rachel had disappeared back inside, the tackling had started. The heat between the two teams crackled. Ben had somehow managed to co-ordinate his team into a stealthy attacking line and tricks he had picked up in the school yards in Manoa were beginning to surface. As Ben ran straight towards the centre of our line, Jared leapt, his shoulder effortlessly aimed at the centre of Ben's stomach. The impact was powerful and Ben landed with a thick grunt on his back, Jared grinning triumphantly.

Sam chuckled and gave Ben a hand up. "That's six touch. 10 metres, Benny."

Ben scowled at Jared who continued to grin. The ball had appeared in Seth's hand and our attacking line became a stealthy row of technical running. I was almost awed at the angles that Embry, Seth and Jared were able to run, everyone now and then successfully eluding skilfully aimed tackling from Quill, Ben, Paul and Leah. I barely realised the ball flying towards me as I cut behind Embry and he flicked an almost imperceptible pass behind his back. As soon as I felt the ball hit my chest, I toed it.

Leah was the next obstacle. I was no match for her speed in a sprint but her poor pivot was to my advantage. As I saw her drop her shoulder and move her arms to wrap around torso, I let the heat flow through my left leg and pushed off the ground hard, quickly changing the momentum of my body in the opposite direction. I barely streaked past her out flung arms as I felt the vibration through the earth as she hit the ground.

I had been so busy watching Leah in my peripheral that I did not notice Quill's interception. I felt his shoulder before I realised I had lost the ball. As soon as I lost the ball, I felt warm arms encircle my waist. I waited for my back to hit the ground but nothing came. Suddenly I was rolling, Quill's arms preventing the shock of the ground from hitting me fully and then I was on my back, staring at Quill's uncomfortably close face that now held a wide smirk.

There seemed to be a pause while Quill's hold on me did not slacken and I lay uncomfortably tense underneath him. Sam's call for six touch called me out of my awkward daze and I shoved Quill off me brusquely. Quill chuckled as I growled at him for the second time today, my body tingling with heat. What was his deal?!

Ben laughed as he saw my face and walked over to drape his arm over my shoulder as we made for the house. "Good game, little sister. I believe that was a draw."

I elbowed him in the stomach gently and laughed. "Re-match. If these guys can take it." I looked pointedly at Quill and he laughed.

"I'll give it to you, Davis – It's a sweet game."

"I can't wait to try." I snapped to look at the porch where Jacob had suddenly appeared and I felt my heart skip a beat. My heart ached as I took in all of him – my heart willing me to go to him immediately. I bit my lip and I felt Ben squeeze my shoulder gently. Jacob seemed to eye Quill who was returning his enquiring gaze with a smile.

Ben and I shared a look as we made our way inside. In an effort to keep things as normal as possible, Jacob and I had decided to act as we had when we were friends around the pack. This time though, as I moved passed him and through the door, I felt his hand brush my thigh and he followed closely behind me. Ben let go of me and moved ahead, seemingly eager to get his hands on food as soon as possible. I grimaced realising he had probably sensed Jacob's movement.

When we were all settled into the Uley house, knee to knee, more banter ensued. The food was delicious as expected and I was surprised to feel my need for Jacob simmer quietly at my centre. It hit me then how much fun I had actually had today. Not only had I made amends with Ben but I had successfully managed a whole day with my pack brothers without feeling the aching need to see Jacob at whatever cost.

I was equally surprised that I was not dying to know what he had happened with Bella. In fact, I was terrified. I wanted to avoid it for as long as possible.

"So are you gonna start sharing her with the rest of us now, Jacob?" Quill asked jokingly.

I froze. "She's got a crazy arm, you know. Almost knocked Quill out!" Embry put in, winking at me. I blushed and shrugged.

"Quill's too slow, man. He should have been paying attention." I said boldly.

Quill grinned. "Oh, I was definitely paying attention. I let it hit me. I didn't want to upset you when you missed." The look he gave me was suggestive and I glared at him coldly. He wasn't phased in the least and returned my look with a shiningly smug one of his own.

I felt Jacob clench his fists next to me, with just a hint of tingling in his arms. "I didn't realise I was keeping her from you guys." Jacob said nonchalant.

I ground my teeth together and decided now was the perfect time to change the subject. Where did Quill get his nerve? And what was he getting at? I was too confused to try to understand what was going on and floundered for a change of subject.

"Re-match tomorrow, bro?" I said quickly, looking pointedly at Ben.

Ben looked sympathetic and played along easily. "For sure, if these chumps are up for it."

There were nods of agreement around the room and a weak protest from Emily who was eventually swept up in the discussion and was swayed into submission. When Embry could be heard snoring on the floor in front of the TV, Ben and I shared a look and we stood, ready for home. Thankfully we were not to be running tonight and we made our goodbyes and headed for the door.

When we stepped outside, Jacob had appeared behind us. "Can I have a word?"

Ben looked unimpressed and impatient. "I'm going to start walking. Catch up to me okay?" The way he said it made it clear that if I wasn't by his side in 15 minutes I was going to hear about it in the morning.

Jacob frowned but didn't say anything to him. He gripped my hand as he led me towards the beach. "We can't go too far. I need to catch up with Ben." I said nervously, pulling him to a stop.

Jacob looked around quickly before taking my face in his hands and kissing me desperately. By the time we came up for air I was breathing heavily.

"I have to run tonight but leave your window open, I'll be there as soon as I can." He whispered urgently.

I nodded, still dizzy from his kiss. "Mmkay." I murmured, staring at his mouth. My heart begged me to bring his mouth back to my own. It didn't have to ask as he swept me up in another breath taking kiss.

"I missed you." He breathed against my mouth, before kissing me quickly again. "I have to go but I'll see you soon. We should talk."

I nodded numbly and followed him as he led me back to the house. With one more kiss and a whispered "love you" he had taken off into the woods. By the time I caught up with Ben he was flirting with a bad mood. I rolled my eyes as he grumbled about hot-shot werewolves and difficult little kids. I was too scared about Jacob's news on Bella to pay much attention to his negative vibe and we were silent for the rest of the journey home. By the time I crawled into bed, I was overwhelmed with worry. I debated for half an hour whether to keep the window closed but eventually gave in and got out of bed to open it wide and let the evening breeze come in. Better to face whatever had happened, head on.


	19. Chapter 18

Jacob never turned up in the end. Some time during my wait I'd fallen asleep and then suddenly I was been shaken awake at some point during the night and Ben's frantic face appeared in my slowly awakening vision. He was saying something with urgency but I couldn't quite make out what was going on. All I knew was that it was still night and Jacob was not lying next to me. I rubbed my face and frowned trying to concentrate.

"Stop, stop, stop! Start again. What's going on?" I mumbled out.

Ben was wound up and already standing next to the door. "Come on. I can hear them – something must be going on."

I dimly registered the howls ripping through the tranquil night and then I was on my feet, being nudged outside by Ben. By the time we reached the edge of the forest, I was alert and my senses felt tension in the air. I didn't bother asking what was going on, just moved off in the opposite direction to phase. The only thing my mind registered was _Jacob. I need to see Jacob._

By the time the heat had embraced me I was already on four legs, pounding through the forest. I snarled as shouting voices erupted inside my head.

_Move east! Fan out! Embry, pace it out – and don't lose the wind! I don't want us blind out here!_ Sam orders were being confused as the boys affirmed orders and asked questions. Ben ran parallel to me somewhere nearby and I felt his presence very close to me.

_Ben, take Lani along the coast up to the treaty line. When you get there, Lani can hug the coastline. You move in. I don't want anyone getting past!_

I was so overwhelmed with information I channelled my confusion into heat and pushed harder, encouraging Ben to match my pace.

_What the fuck is going on?!_ I thought, frustrated.

My mind was filled in an onslaught of Jacob, Paul, Embry and Sam running the line earlier during the night. A scent had appeared on the wind, unmistakably vampire. The forest was filled with the overwhelming scent to the point of nausea. The chase had been going for almost two hours. The tracking had led them in circles and the presence was everywhere. It's like a huge group of vampires had come together and combed through the forest in one mammoth group! Sam was frenzied.

The rest of the boys were no better. Jacob's thoughts were so filled with anger that my own adrenaline pumped up. I felt the heat tingle delightedly through my limbs. I felt like I was on fire. Leah was hitting the ground running to the north, her speed unequalled to any of the other boys. Seth followed a little more slowly behind but his pace was still equal if not better than everyone else. Jacob paced somewhere in the distance with Sam, their attentions utterly focused on the current circumstance.

_This is insane. Who would cross our line?!_

_That's what we're trying to find out. There's no sense in this. They're too big to be a coven._ Sam replied. He seemed to be debating with himself rather than answering my question.

The whole pack moved as one unit, our attention to detail immaculate. I felt like I could feel every part of the forest. I let my senses pan out further and took in the sound of water, the wind through the trees, the scampering of small animals in the distance. The illusion of tranquillity was disturbing. As I hit the coastline, I felt the heat tingle along my limbs with anticipation.

They were watching us.

_What are they waiting for?_

I felt the pack slow and open their senses to full potential. This was our forest. Spaced at different locations, our combined consciousness of our surroundings was almost omniscient.

_I don't know. No one move. _Sam's voice was hard and I felt the anticipatory tingle flow excitedly through our one consciousness. The boys need for the kill was powerful and deep. I shuddered with expectation. My body was filled with heat, building to the point of attack.

And then an ear splitting howl let rip through the forest. Our focus moved as one. Paul had caught sight of the enemy and taken off at full speed after it. His thoughts were potent. There was nothing but the kill in his mind. The other boys growled with fury, wanting to follow Paul immediately.

_No one move! Paul will take care of him! Everyone hold their positions!_

At any other time I may have been terrified but the combined anger of the whole pack created an unnatural confidence in me. My heart was beating fast and I wanted the adrenaline in full force, coursing through my body. I wanted to feel the thrill of hunting down a bloodsucker. I would be appalled later at my thoughts but right now, the need to sink my teeth into these blood thirsty killers was unbearable.

In an instant a sickeningly sweet scent had hit my nostrils and my heart flared. This was it. I had left my position before I knew was happening and I was moving deeper into the forest. Ahead of me I saw a flying figure of red hair. I gathered the heat to me and pumped it into my legs, pushing for more speed. I felt alive with the desire to catch the darting figure ahead of me. The creature was losing pace and I felt myself gaining, its movements becoming louder and louder. Whoever it was seemed to have confused bearings. They didn't seem to be heading in any particular direction, simply floundering away from my approach.

_Lani! I'm coming! Herd her toward us! _Jacob shouted into my mind.

I growled. _No. I can do this. _

_Lani! Don't! _I ignored the rest.

Up ahead, a break in the trees gave way to a small glade. As soon as I knew the red haired figure was about to reach the clearing, I switched directions, hoping to move around to the other side before they noticed my change in direction. My swiftness would be the judge of me in the end.

As soon as I changed direction, I heard its footsteps falter. The leech was stopping in the middle of the glade. I stalked around the edge of the clearing cautiously and moved into the open, growling low in my throat.

A woman with short red hair was eyeing me carefully, a sickening smirk plastered to her face. She projected confidence. Her hunting stance was lazy and I growled louder. Her smug glance was disturbing. She knew something we didn't but what was it? We seemed to be blind to their positions in the forest and yet she and another had made themselves known to us. The most confusing part was that there didn't seem to be a point to this. They had provoked a pack of werewolves on purpose but why?

"So, it's true. You are real." Her voice was just as sweet as Alice's and despite a kind of awe that filled her voice, there was also a malicious undertone.

"I'm a bit disappointed that I've only managed to corner a she-wolf but you'll do for now."

My anger was at boiling point and the heat begged me to let it come forth. The woman's blood red eyes flared as she eyed me carefully and she took a step to the side. I mirrored her movement. She snarled and then she darted towards me. I bared my teeth and as she tackled me to the ground with an incredible amount of force behind it, I moved my head and sank my teeth into whatever I could grab. It wasn't much.

Everything from this point onwards seemed to be instinct. I had never had to fight before and yet everything that my wolf body decided to do was on instinct alone. My body moved before I commanded it to. The woman seemed to have transformed into something completely different. The frenzy in her eyes was startling and it encouraged the heat in me.

When her teeth sunk into my ear and shoulder I howled and snarled loudly as I let bared claws rake at her torso. As soon as there was distance between her and I, I let my teeth have their way with her neck. I wanted to rip her to pieces. I wanted to spill her blood on the forest floor simply for being what she was. She was an abomination and had no right to existence and life.

I was so overwhelmed and frenzied with the kill that I didn't notice Leah, Quill and Jacob approach. I was barely aware of their presence as we tore the woman into pieces. The smell of fire blazed not far from our position and as we carried pieces of the leech to the awaiting blaze, I felt high from killing. It was indescribable. I felt invincible. I gnashed the mangled flesh of the abomination between my teeth and continued to bite it into the pieces before throwing portion after portion of it into the fire with a casual flick of my head. There weren't enough pieces – she had to be ripped apart to the point of nothingness. And then that nothingness would be burnt.

_Lani. Stop. _

Leah and Quill were gathered, growling quietly as they watched me massacre the body pieces.

_Lani. Get rid of that and phase. _

I felt so animalistic I couldn't remember how to reply and simply threw the remaining body piece and snarled. Quill and Leah turned and ran away towards the rest of the pack who now surrounded another blazing fire where Paul, Embry and Ben were now throwing a similarly mangled body into flames. That left only Jacob and I in the glow of the blazing fire.

_Lani, babe... calm down. You're going over board._

It took every fibre in my body to pull me back into my sane frame of mind. Jacob was next to me then, whining softly as he nudged my shoulder.

_I needed to kill her_. I thought coldly.

Jacob sighed in my mind and nudged me. _The pack is taking care of the other one. The rest have disappeared._

_No!_ I thought desperately. They could be anywhere. They'd kill us and our families if we didn't hunt down every last one of them right now and dispose of them like the vermin that they were. _We have to find them! Tonight!_

_It's too late. A few got a head start north and the others hit the ocean about fifteen minutes ago. You left the coastline wide open._

Only then did I register his disappointment - His disappointment that was directed at me. If I had stayed where I was I would have had more than just one of them.

_It doesn't matter now. They won't be back tonight, they've already lost two. We need get back to the res and regroup. _Jacob said dismissively.

I was numb with shock and overwhelmed with the confusion of my blood thirsty need to kill. My hate for them was unquestionably one of the most heady and powerful emotions I had ever felt. I wanted to kill them all.

_You'll get your chance. But right now, you need to come home with me so your wounds can heal properly and I can check you over and make sure you're okay._

I followed him in a daze, registering my fast healing wounds but unaware of any pain. By the time we got to the edge of the forest, visions of the rest of the pack together at the site of another blazing fire entered my mind. Paul tossed the last piece of a male into the fire and our brothers and sister let out another triumphant howl.

_Tomorrow at the cliff – We have much to talk about brothers and sisters._ And those were the last words I heard from Sam as I phased and pulled on my t-shirt and sweat pants.

What the female vampire had said about our existence being true plagued me and I was still thinking over her words as Jacob wiped a warm cloth soaked in disinfectant over an almost invisible scar on my shoulder. I sat on Jacob's bed, one of his sister's old sarongs wrapped tightly around my torso.

"Stop that, it's fine." I said impatiently, taking the cloth from his hands.

He frowned and snatched it back from me. "I just want to make sure your skin doesn't come out mangled with infection."

I rolled my eyes and scowled. "I _wish_ I could get some sort of infection."

"Quit with the attitude, Lans. I'm too tired for it."

I kept my face carefully blank and didn't move as he continued with his pointless attention to my shoulder. Fighting with him was the very last thing either of us needed and it was time I learnt when to open my mouth and when to let it go. I wouldn't prove a thing my retorting and I'd rather let him win then have a pointless argument. It was getting old.

He seemed disturbed by unusual silence and when I was sure he was only paying attention to my shoulder to fill the silence, I sighed and took his hand.

"Jacob, stop. I'm fine." I took the cloth from his hand quietly and put it into the bowl at the side of his bed. He looked worn out and stressed.

Without saying anything more, I pulled him to me quietly. I wrapped my arms around him from behind as he settled between my legs and he sighed heavily, leaning his head back against my good shoulder. I showered his cheek in quick kisses and then finally settled on his mouth.

He kissed me back softly and rubbed my legs gently with his hands. "This isn't good, Lans. I feel like we were duped out there tonight."

I rested my chin on his head, squeezing his shoulders gently. "Mm, I agree. Before we ripped apart that leech she seemed... pleased that she had found us. Like they'd been looking for us or just our _kind_."

I felt Jacob shift slightly under me. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, it's like... they'd come searching for us. She was disappointed that she hadn't found one of you guys but she said 'I would do for now'. It's like she wasn't going to kill me at all. It's like she wanted to test me or something."

Jacob was tense now and he turned to look at me worriedly. "None of this makes sense. If they didn't come to the forest to kill humans then what do they want with us?"

I sighed and shrugged, reaching up to run my fingers along the frown lines that had appeared on his face. "I don't know, hun... We're just going to have to wait and see."

He sighed and nodded, moving to lean back against me again. "Sam and I need to meet with the Cullen's tomorrow. They know their own kind best."

I tensed slightly, remembering Jacob's visit to see Bella. "Yeah. They can tell us what's going on."

Jacob seemed preoccupied and he nodded distractedly as he traced patterns absently on my thighs. "Yeah... They'll know..."

I fell into silence and let him think through whatever plan he had running through his head. The last thing he needed was me nattering at him about the Cullen's and if I was perfectly honest with myself, I wasn't sure I had enough energy in me for the conversation. In an hour, daylight would be creeping through the windows and I had got little sleep and Jacob had had even less. I wanted to fall asleep here with him but I knew if I didn't get home soon, mum and dad were going to rip me apart when I get home. I couldn't believe I had school in three hours. I sighed and kissed Jacob's forehead one more time before pulling myself off the bed.

"I better go or the 'rents are gonna throw a nut."

I turned my back to him as I shuffled out of the sarong and picked my t-shirt up from the floor. As I moved to pull it over my head, I felt Jacob's warm lips on the back of my neck, his fingers running gently past my shoulder blades and down to my lower back. I shuddered and bit my lip to stop a moan escaping my lips.

"Jacob..."

"Please stay." His warm whisper into my ear sent my heart racing and I couldn't turn to look at him for fear of giving in completely to the urge my body desperately wanted to execute.

"I can't..." I said as his hands stealthy picked apart my braid and he pulled my hair over my gently shoulder, all obstacles removed from his path to my neck. His lips returned to my skin and the he way he whispered, "_Please_" again sent my pulse running.

He turned me and tugged my arms away from my naked chest to be wrapped around his neck. He reached down to pick me up effortlessly as my legs went around his waist and his lips found mine. We created the heat between us effortlessly. As he sat on the bed, I straddled his waist as his hands trailed up to my neck to be tangled in my now loose long hair.

"Jacob," I mumbled against his lips as he continued to distract me with kisses. "If I don't go, I'll never make it to school and my mum and dad won't let me see you anymore."

"Mmhmm." He didn't stop with his onslaught and I didn't mind at all. His lips were on my neck now and I was so appallingly turned on, I let out a long soft moan as his mouth moved down my chest. I felt his hands move to my back, his palms gripping my shoulder blades and his kisses moving to compromising places across my chest. If I didn't pull away now I would never leave.

As soon as he took away his lips, I shoved him back onto his bed roughly and rained soft kisses over his face. In between kisses I managed to mumble an apology.

"I'm – sorry – I – have – to – go – but – I – love – you – and – I – will – see – you – at – the – cliff."

When I pulled back I was grinning and Jacob groaned. "Why are you doing this me?" He grumbled half heartedly.

I laughed and jumped off him, pulling my t-shirt on quickly before he could distract me again. "Why are you doing this _me_?! Next time you do something like that I can't guarantee I'll be able to stop."

I thought I heard him mumble 'I'm counting on it' but didn't push it anymore. As I reached for the door he was suddenly at my side, pulling me to him and kissing me once more. "We'll talk later, yeah?"

I smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah."

He seemed troubled for a moment and leaned in to kiss me again. This time longer and sweeter than any other kiss we had shared before. "I _love _you, Lani." He whispered slowly but with intent.

I pulled back and smiled slightly. "I love _you_." I kissed him quickly again and disappeared out of the Black house as quietly as possible. I tried not to yawn as I broke into a run back home. Today was going to be a long day.


	20. Chapter 19

I was dead on my feet through most of the day. By the time I got home, Ben was already gulping down cups of coffee in order to keep himself awake and we had no energy to hold a conversation in the car on the way to school. I trudged through most of the school day with little attention to what was actually going on in class. By the time I reached P.E. in second period I was dead to the world. I hung stealthily at the end of the reserve bench for basketball and was hardly noticed as I dropped in and out of consciousness on the bleachers.

By the time lunch rolled around I was fast asleep at the lunch table. Only when Edward, Bella and Alice seated themselves next to Ben and I did I bother to come out of my sleepy haze.

Edward's look was intense and Alice's hawk-like gaze between Ben and I was attentive.

"Hi. I suppose you know what happened last night." I mumbled as I snuggled further into my arms on the lunch table.

Ben seemed to be paying more attention to them than I was and I didn't mind at all. Better him than me. Bella had seated herself to the right of me and I felt her tension. Things had changed between us and I didn't have to ask why. It was obvious that whatever had been said between her and Jacob yesterday was still raw in her mind. She didn't say hello and hardly acknowledged that I was there.

"We should talk." Edward said warily. I didn't even bother looking up as conversation continued between Ben, Edward and Alice. I should have felt rude with Bella sitting silent next to me but I didn't. All I wanted was to curl up in a ball and get a good solid hour nap. Was that so much to ask?

I dimly registered a meeting arrangement and a quick overview of what had happened last night from Ben. Sam had obviously given him permission to liaise with the vampires so it was hardly my concern. My blood thirsty rampage through the forest last night left me feeling guilty in the presence of the Cullen's and it made sense in my mind that I completely ignore them in order to relieve myself of some of the guilt I now felt. After all, they were vampires and what was the difference? Their kind was still their kind.

I must have been snoring because Ben shook me awake and by then, most of the cafeteria had emptied.

"Class?" I mumbled.

Ben shook his head and yawned. "Fuck that, let's jit. There's no way you'll be awake in Bio and I need sleep."

Alice, Edward and Bella had disappeared by that stage. Ben tugged me to my feet and nudged me outside and into the car.

"Mum and dad will flip." I murmured half awake as I climbed into the passenger seat and pulled my seat belt on blearily.

Ben let out a hefty yawn and shrugged as he fired up the engine. "No, they won't. Besides, I need to get to Sam. Alice, Edward and Bella are going to follow us back."

I glanced at my side mirror on the passenger side and sure enough, a silver Volvo was pulling out behind us. I sighed and found a comfortable position, promptly closing my eyes. "Whatever. Wake me up when we get home. The leeches are your problem."

I wasn't conscious when Ben replied, quickly dipping back into blissful sleep.

When I finally woke up, I had somehow made it to my own bed. The sun was beginning its journey to bed below the horizon in the distance and I stretched and yawned loudly. When I dragged my feet downstairs I smelt food simmering in the kitchen and let my nose lead the way. When I appeared in the door of the kitchen, my mom stood stirring a large pot of something that smelled delicious.

"Hi mama." I mumbled as I shuffled over to her and hugged her sleepily.

My mom smelt beautifully of frangipani and coconuts, reminding me of Manoa and the beaches. Being around her always centred me. I had always spent more time with my dad, him and I finding more in common on most occasions. My relationship with my mother was different. Since I was a child we had spent many hours simply in silence, loving each other's company. There was something very otherworldly about my mom which I only recently had become to understand. I had always respected her internal strength and wisdom and on days like today, all I wanted to do was sit with her in front of the TV, my head on her lap, as she braided my hair. My mom was my home.

She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead gently. "You look like you haven't slept in days, honey. Sam is keeping you and Benny out there far too late. You're only children!" Her voice was worried. My mom spoke in melodies, her voiced tones, comforting.

I squeezed her gently and wandered over to one of the bar stools, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Couldn't you have been from another tribe?" I asked jokingly.

"Very funny, Miss."

She flicked the stove off and moved to the fridge, fishing out a bowl of fruit and putting in front of me. "Eat. I don't want my daughter looking like a zombie."

I rolled my eyes and commenced shoving pieces of fruit into my mouth. My mother's worried gaze settled on me as she watched me eat. In her eyes I could see worry and apprehension. I didn't envy her position. The last thing I would want to see my children doing would be running out into the forest night after night, chasing after mythical creatures in an attempt to kill them.

I returned her gaze levelly and willed her to disregard her worry altogether. She sighed heavily and leaned against the bench as she picked at the grapes in the bowl.

"Don't look so worried, ma. Ben and I are tough."

She rolled her large brown eyes and ran a worried hand through her long hair. "I heard what happened last night and I don't care if you're superheroes. I'm not happy with this, Lani."

I sighed and busied myself with peeling a banana. "It's not exactly how I like spending my nights either, mom."

"Are you keeping up with your school work?"

"Yes." I said heavily. It almost sounded like I was whining.

When I met her gaze again she looked truly upset. Her eyes glistened with nostalgia as she gazed at me and her posture seemed stooped and worried. "Sometimes I think we should have stayed in Manoa." She said almost to herself.

"Don't say that. When you say stuff like that it means you regret something and life is too short to regret things."

She laughed and smiled slightly. "My baby girl is giving her mother advice now. What kind of mother am I?"

I laughed as well. "The best kind." I said, smiling.

The worry seemed to ease from her face a little as she considered me quietly. I could see she wanted to ask something but knowing her she would avoid it if she thought it would upset me. I had a good guess about what she wanted to know and I gave her the most serene look I could muster in an effort to encourage her.

"So, despite romping through the forest in the middle of the night – Have you managed to hang out with your school friends?"

I shrugged and chewed my banana thoughtfully. "Some. Mostly at school though."

She raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly. "Right. And any boyfriends?"

I almost laughed. There it was – the inevitable question.

"You know me, mom. I'm not really into boys." I said offhandedly as I shuffled out of my chair and made my way to the fridge, pulling out a carton of juice.

"Uh huh. So, why has Sue been mentioning a Jacob Black so often lately?"

I shrugged again and plopped back into my seat with a glass in front of me. Best to play it cool. "I'm not sure. You know Jake and I, we've known each other for ages."

I stealthily avoided her gaze entirely as I busied myself, pouring the juice into my glass.

"Mmhmm, then I guess he just comes to say hi when he sneaks into your room most nights?"

I choked on my drink and coughed in an effort to get the liquid out of the wrong pipe. My eyes watered as I spluttered some more and I stared at her. Her eyebrows were raised now, my reaction an obvious confirmation.

"So?"

I looked down, red cheeked and flushed. "Did Ben tell you? If he did, I'll kill him."

"Your father and I aren't stupid, Leilani." She didn't seem to be angry as I had anticipated. In fact, she wore a small smile and seemed to be only curious. "You know, it might be better if you actually bought him through the front door sometime. Ya know... so your parents can make sure their daughter is safe. Like fighting vampires isn't enough."

I chuckled as my mum turned to check her simmering pot. Her tone was so matter of fact and casual that I felt an intense amount of affection and emotion for my mom in that moment. I hadn't expected her to be so understanding and the way she treated the situation was so relaxed that I fought to not look surprised.

"And you and dad wouldn't harass him if I bought through said door?"

She snorted and rolled her eyes as she turned back to me. "Of course not. I doubt we have anything to worry about. If he hurts my daughter in anyway, I have a very able son to take care of him for me."

I laughed as she leaned across to kiss my forehead. "I love you, mama." I said, chuckling as I moved around the bench to envelope her in another hug. She smiled warmly and hugged me in return.

"I love you too but –" She pulled back from me a little and fixed me with a strict gaze. "If I catch him in your room on school nights, watch out."

I grinned. "Deal! Now, about this amazingly delicious smell. Is dinner ready?"

I was about to stick my finger into the pot when a howl ripped through the night. I felt the intense urge to sigh. Five minutes to eat – it's all I was asking for.


	21. Chapter 20

I was a little surprised to see the entire Cullen family when I reached the top of the cliff. Ben had met me half way there and we strode towards the gathering, warily. I hadn't imagined that Sam would have wanted them past the boundary line for long and to see the whole family here was startling. I found it hard to accept that Sam was so worried about the events that had happened last night that he had enlisted the help of our sworn enemy.

Someone had begun a small bonfire and the boys must have dragged drift wood from the beach to make seats for our impromptu meeting. I tugged my hood over my head as we approached and shuffled closer to Ben's side. He raised an eyebrow at me enquiringly.

"You okay?" His arm snaked around my shoulder and squeezed me gently.

"The entire Cullen family are here and _you're_ okay with it?" I asked leaning against him.

"Fair point." He muttered as we moved to take a seat next to Seth. Somehow, I always managed to sneak my way to Seth's side at meetings. Without realising it, Seth was actually a soothing presence for me. His innocence and infectious good nature was comforting at times like this.

Sam nodded his head in our direction as we sat and Jacob watched us from his side. Our gazes met briefly but I couldn't decipher what he was thinking. The depth in eyes could have meant anything and I looked away quickly, nervous to be in his presence as well as Bella's at the same time. The entire Cullen family had turned their gaze on Ben and I as we had approached and they seemed to inspect us now. I fidgeted uncomfortably and shuffled even closer to Ben.

"Sorry we're late. Had some things to sort out with mom and dad." Ben explained for the both of us. Sam simply nodded again and looked to the Cullen's.

"We're all here now so we should get down to business. We've got a mystery on our hands and I want it sorted out as soon as possible." Sam's voice was hard. "The Cullen's have agreed to help us... dispose of this problem."

I frowned slightly. It was all well and good deciding to dispose of them but we didn't even know why they were here.

"Do we even know why they're here?" I spoke hesitantly.

Sam shook his head. "Hence, the mystery."

"Well, shouldn't we find out before we go killing anything that moves?" I glanced quickly at Jacob to see if he had mentioned what we had talked about this morning with Sam. His face was carefully blank.

"I agree with Leilani. Better to find their motivations first, that way we can know what they're targeting." Carlisle spoke diplomatically, his compassion taking over but it didn't stop most of the pack from glaring at him and then at me. I grimaced and ducked my head further into my hood.

"How convenient that one of their kind would want to save them. How do we know they didn't send them here in the first place?" Leah snarled. She was shaking with anger and her disdain for them was obvious. She all but spat the words at them.

Rosalie was hissing at her immediately. "You're lucky we're helping you at all, _dog_. Without us you'll be all be dead in a week."

Edward suddenly had a hand on her shoulder, a frown on his beautiful face. "Enough, Rosalie. We didn't come here to fight."

The space between our two groups was suddenly tense and the air crackled with fierce thoughts. I thought back over what the red headed woman had said to me the night before and pondered what it could possibly have meant. Was there a coven targeting the werewolves particularly? If so, why the intrigue? She had seemed so sure that she would find us specifically, werewolves, and she seemed pleased about it too. Was it only us that they wanted and not our people on the reservation?

"Hmm, interesting thought." Edward spoke up suddenly, his features shaped into a thoughtful expression.

"What?" Jacob was frowning and looking between Edward and I quickly.

"Lani seems to think they were looking for the pack specifically. If that's true then why are they so interested in you?"

I said nothing from them on. When Jacob sighed and relayed what had been said by the red headed vampire both groups were abuzz with discussion. Edward theorised that a coven may have simply been intrigued by the werewolf myth. He confirmed the legends of werewolves in supernatural mythology but affirmed that we were not the same. We were shapeshifters – the moon did not dictate when we changed. Carlisle seemed to agree with Edward's suggestion and Sam's forehead frowned in concentration.

"So what, if they've confirmed that we exist. That still doesn't benefit them in anyway. We still plan on killing them." Ben put up.

"That's true but if they want your shifting abilities then that's a different story." Carlisle replied.

"What would they need to shift for?" Seth asked curiously.

"It would certainly make feeding a lot easier. If a vampire could learn shifting in a higher form they would be almost unstoppable." Edward mused.

"It doesn't matter though. The shifting is genetic within the tribe and even so, the knowledge of shapeshifting has only ever been with the wolf." Sam finished.

The pack froze for a moment and some of the boys glanced at me. Jacob was staring at me and Ben quickly wrapped his arm around me. Sam seemed to sense the same thought and his gaze also turned to me. None of this had escaped the Cullen's notice.

"A true shapeshifter." Edward said, a hint of awe in his tone. I frowned slightly and leaned more against Ben, my head tucked safely underneath my hood.

"Explain please, Edward." Alice said impatiently.

"It seems that she can shift into more than just the wolf form." Carlisle's eyes were immediately alight with fascination. It made me nervous and I wiped my hands against my thighs to get rid of the nervous sweat. None of this mattered in the least. So what if I could change into a stupid owl, I couldn't even fly when I was in that form, let alone function. Half my bones would break every time! I was surprised Carlisle hadn't figured it out earlier during my first bone cracking incident. Of course, Sam wouldn't have told him - anything to keep the Cullen family on the outside as long as we could use Carlisle's services as a doctor whenever we needed. There was something very hypocritical about it all. I couldn't even remember why we still hated each other – it's not like the Cullen's went around killing people weekly.

"I can't actually." I said boldly. "Not without ripping myself in half anyway."

Jacob's eyes were focused on me, with a kind of desperate look on his face. He had had the same look on his face since I had arrived and I wished he wouldn't look so worried. When he looked like that I wanted to go to him and wipe the worry from his face with kisses and an embrace. I blushed when I noticed Edward watching me, eyebrows raised.

"Even so. If you've found a way to do this then that means the others can to." Edward said.

"Yes but the magic can't be taught... can it? We don't even know it. It's just... born in us."

"That's true." Edward sighed.

"This is all well and good but what I'm more concerned about is the safety of my people. I don't care if they have other intentions we're still getting rid of them. I won't have vampire's crossing our land as they please. This is our forest and it won't change." Sam's voice was hard.

There were murmurs of agreement around the pack and the Cullen's seemed to accept Sam's brief speech. What it came down to was the Cullen's keeping an eye out on their side of the treaty line and us taking care of our side. Sam asked that Carlisle find out as much as possible in regards to the wandering mystery coven and to let us know immediately. It seemed beneficial to both of us in the end. Working together to dispose of the vampire threat would take the heat and suspicion off the Cullen family and it would put our minds at ease. Better to keep it simple, rather than complicate the situation with past grudges and vague assumptions about the purpose of their presence on the peninsula.

As Carlisle and Sam wandered to the side to talk more, Edward stood and approached Jacob. I tried not to watch but Jacob's posture was so stiff that I worried they might fight. Edward's expression was hard and Jacob seemed to stand taller than usual. He towered over Edward and yet they seemed perfectly equalled, two beautiful titans locked in an uneasy truce.

I felt a little sorry for Bella then. She must have found it so hard to pick between these two amazing people. She had obviously seen something more in Edward though. I would never understand it. His control over her was hard to believe and the fact that she was more than willing most of the time was confounding. As I glanced at her across our circle she seemed deep in discussion with Alice who wore a slightly exasperated expression. I tuned out their voices from my sensitive hearing, sure that I didn't want to know what the conversation was about.

Everyone seemed to have split off into small groups, conversation erupting with all the news and plans that had been presented to both sides. Ben had found his way to the boys and along with Quill, Embry, Paul, Jared, Seth and Leah an epic discussion of fighting technique and logistics ensued. I sighed and stood, wandering to the edge of the cliff.

As I looked over the dark expanse of the ocean I suddenly felt light. Standing at this point bought back memories of my excursion over the cliff weeks back. Falling into the ocean and turning into the dolphin had been one of the most elating feelings. I had the overwhelming urge to change now – to give over to the heat and forget about all this vampire-werewolf shit. Just for a few hours I wanted to power through the waves and the ocean in a body that wasn't mine. I wanted to fall, swim, fly – the desire to throw myself over was overpowering but before I could contemplate it further, a warm hand was on my shoulder.

"Lani? You look like you're about to jump." Quill grinned jokingly as he tugged me to turn around.

I gave a weak smile and shrugged out of his grip. "It would be fun but then that psycho over there would probably throw a nut." I said jokingly.

Quill chuckled and followed me back to the fire side. "I can take care of Jake if you like."

I rolled my eyes and collapsed on the ground. "Stop with that shit, Quill. It's not cool."

"What? I'm not doing anything." He said innocently, hands held up in defence.

I snorted. "Yeah right. I know how much you guys love shit stirring. Did Paul and Embry put you up to this? Is it laugh at Lani week? It's okay, you can tell me. I won't hurt them too badly."

Quill laughed and shook his head. "It's not a joke." And despite his smile he seemed perfectly serious.

I shifted uncomfortably and made a face. "Well, whatever man. Just quit it. Bigger things to worry about and all that."

Quill laughed again and shrugged. "All I'm saying is it doesn't hurt to have options right?" He winked at me and turned to join the rest of the pack in their discussion again.

I scowled after him furiously and shook my head. I had no idea what he meant and I was pretty sure I didn't care. Quill would imprint very soon and then he'd look back at all this and laugh. To me, Quill was just like all the boys in the pack – just like I was to him probably. Stupid boys and their stupid phases.

As I finished that thought I looked over to see Jacob and Edward still locked in discussion and Bella was quickly approaching them. I immediately felt my heart tighten. I had no idea what they were talking about and certainly had no idea of what Bella planned to say once she got to them but whatever it was it looked serious. The tension between Jacob and Edward was thick and both their gazes hardened as soon as Bella was within arms reach. Edward's arm went around her waist immediately and Jacob stiffened. Bella seemed to give Jacob an apologetic look but did not move away from Edward.

The whole scene hurt my head. Literally. I felt like I had a headache watching all three of them together. Their complications had in turn complicated the treaty and thinking about it was confusing. All the lines between wrong and right were blurred between them. I could see the right in Edward's point of view as well as Bella's and could definitely sympathise with Jacob. I wanted to hit all of them. I wanted them to make some decisions and then follow through.

And then Jacob was looking at me. I flinched slightly when I saw him extend his hand and beckon me towards them. I looked behind me hoping he was motioning to Sam but there was no one there. I would have to put one foot in front of the other and go towards the three people that made all of this so much harder than it had to be.

My shoulders drooped and I sighed. I pulled my hood down further and walked over to them hesitantly. I was vaguely aware of the dewy grass and its cool texture against my feet. I felt the wind reaching for my hair underneath my hood but I was the most aware of the wary glances that everyone gave me as I moved towards Jacob's side. I felt self conscious for no discernable reason. It sucked.

I stiffened immediately, as Jacob's arm snaked around my waist to mimic Edward and Bella's stance. What a joke. Was he trying to prove something?

Edward watched me closely and I met his gaze coolly.

"Big men discussing business, huh?" I said looking between Edward and Jacob. Bella watched me quietly.

"Preparation is key." Edward offered diplomatically.

"That is what they say." I muttered, shifting uncomfortably in Jacob's embrace.

"Actually, I was just asking Jacob about your shifting. In fact, I was wondering if you'd be willing to demonstrate for us?"

Jacob growled under his breath and pulled me tighter to him. "You didn't say anything about her doing it."

"That's because she doesn't need to ask for your permission." Edward said levelly.

Oh, that was smooth. I'm sure it wasn't his intention but he had successfully managed to drive a miniscule wedge between Jacob and I. I had to admit, I didn't appreciate being told what I could and couldn't do. If I was honest though there was nothing else I wanted to do more right now. Trying another form or even just being in the sea was a welcome thought. As I looked at Jacob, I sighed. It was the worst time to pick a side.

"Ripping myself in half and breaking some bones isn't exactly my idea of fun, dude." The look on Jacob's face that had border lined on betrayal, quickly turned smug.

Bella scowled at him. "Shouldn't you try every angle, Jacob?" She ignored me completely.

"Meaning what, Bells?" Jacob shot back. Edward's face grew colder and he moved to stand slightly in front of Bella as if to protect her.

"What Bella is saying is if Lani can shift into more than just the wolf form, the possibilities for surveillance and advantage in the forest is endless."

Jacob growled. "Are you deaf, _leech_? Shifting could kill her!"

I flinched and frowned slightly as I felt Jacob's heat ripple through his arms. I lay my hand on his chest and pushed him back gently. "Hey, I'm not doing anything. Just chill."

Jacob didn't break eye contact with Edward but he seemed to have calmed a little.

"I didn't think you'd mind, Jacob. You've put people you care about in danger before." Edward seemed to be alluding to something dangerously personal. The look Bella gave Edward confirmed it. Hurt flickered across her face like it had done the first day I met her. It obviously had something to do with her and Jacob.

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "That's rich coming from you."

Edward gave a low hiss and now it was Bella's turn to restrain him. "Leave it alone, Jacob."

"Ever the hypocrite, Bella." Jacob said coldly. The hurt on Bella's face was unmistakable. I immediately felt uncomfortable being in the conversation. Why had I walked over here again?

"She's not shifting. It's more effective if we move as a pack and it's safer if she's with us. Do whatever you want on your side of the line. Leave La Push to us."

Bella was frowning at Jacob. I'd never seen her so angry before. She was clutching at Edward tightly. It seemed like if she didn't hold onto him she might turn and hit Jacob.

"We were just offering a suggestion, Jake. You don't need to be so rude." She snapped.

"Don't open your mouth where it's not needed. When you're at home in bed, listening to Charlie's snoring, Lani will be out here settling business so before you go making suggestions you don't really know anything about, think about someone other than yourself." Jacob spat the words at her harshly and I saw Bella's face crumple with unbearable hurt and pain. I was only just able to catch Edward's movement.

I saw the tension in his muscles before I saw the actual movement in his fist but I didn't even think about it. I had already moved my torso with one step of my right foot to stand in front of Jacob, a shield between him and Bella's vampire.

And then it came. Edward's connection to my jaw rocked me. I'd never been hit so hard in my life. The loud crack of my jaw breaking smashed through the silence as everything seemed to tick by in slow motion. Everyone had turned to watch. The force of Edward's blow was enough to push my neck to the side immediately. I felt like I had whip lash. It was less than a second before the pain hit. I felt my lungs expand as I took in a huge breath and I must have gasped slightly as my hand flew to my jaw. Blood had gathered in my mouth and spat it on the ground immediately. I had to think fast.

All of a sudden the pack was at the back of Jake and I, everyone shaking with anger. "STOP!" I yelled out groggily. My voice came out gurgled as I spat more blood out of my mouth. I could already feel it healing.

Jacob was ready to kill Edward. Bella was staring at me stunned and Edward was frozen. I immediately leant my head against Jacob's chest as his arms went around me. He was saying something to me but I wasn't really listening. I leant my forehead against him and stared at the ground. "No one move! Give me a second. It's healing."

The tribe and the Cullen family stood staring at each other, murder in their eyes. I was beginning to feel dizzy and I just needed a moment to gather my bearings. After a few seconds of slow breathing I stood straight again, wiping the remaining blood from my mouth. I stretched my neck from side to side, trying to get feeling back in it.

"Leilani, please I..." I cut Edward off before he could say anything more.

"Stop. Don't say anything." I said holding up my hand, as I closed my eyes and continued to coax sensation back into my jaw.

"I-"

"Seriously, Edward. Don't talk." A few more seconds and the dizziness had disappeared entirely. Jacob's glare was murderous and I kissed his chest softly, unconcerned about the audience. All I wanted was him to calm down. I took a deep breath and rubbed my neck gently. I was vaguely aware of the blood on the front of my dress and one of my teeth lying on the ground. When I felt like I could open my eyes without throwing up I turned to lock my gaze with Edward.

"If you _ever _try and hit him again, I will _kill_ you. Do you hear me? I will _kill you_, Edward." I stared at Edward so coldly I felt like my gaze alone could have shot out long shards of ice. I paid no attention to the hisses his siblings gave me from behind him. Edward's face was carefully blank.

"And _you_. I'm not invisible and I know you're not blind. If you're talking about something that involves me then say it to my face." I was glaring at Bella, all the anger I'd suppressed over the last month climaxing to this one point. I was sick of Jacob and Bella's dramas and I was sick of the drama between the tribe and Cullen family. It was time this stopped.

"I don't give a shit about what's happened with you three in the past. But fucken sort it out! And the rest of you!" I turned wildly to look at the pack as well as the Cullen's. Everyone seemed to be in fighting stances ready for the break out of some long awaited fight. They were all pathetic.

"Get over yourselves! This isn't a fucken Shakespeare play! Just because there was some rift between our ancestors and some other vampire coven a long time ago, it's got nothing to do with us _now_. This problem isn't going to fix itself so quit with the front. PEACE. Get it?!" I was shouting at everyone now, throwing my arms up in frustration. I would be embarrassed by this later but right now, I didn't care. I just wanted it out there.

"We think we're all good people with the right intentions. It's fraud when we can't even find harmony between ourselves. Will it be 'us' and 'them' forever?"

And suddenly my anger was spent and I felt weak and tired.

I shook my head and looked up at them all sadly. Everyone was staring at me shocked and I sighed heavily. Jacob reached out for my hand and I snatched it away immediately. I wanted to shift and wanted to do it now.

"Fuck this," I muttered as I walked to the edge of the cliff and threw myself off of it, gathering the heat to me in a tight embrace. I fell with my arms wide, changing form as I fell into the oceans hold. I didn't even care if they decided to fight each other then. A few less supernatural beings for the world to worry about – maybe it was a good thing.


	22. Chapter 21

I don't how long I stayed out there in the ocean. It must have been a long time. By the time I managed to drag my feet onto dry land, I was shivering. I raced the sun as I climbed out of the ocean and to my surprise I found a change of clothes waiting for me in the same shallow cave I had hidden my clothes in weeks ago. A neatly folded piece of paper was held down with a rock as a paper weight.

_Leilani,  
Please come home when you get this. Edward wants to apologise and Sam and the boys are worried about you. I told mom and dad you were staying at Leah's. Thought you might need these. I just want to know that you're okay. You know I'm always here to talk._

_Love you,_

_Ben._

No mention of Jacob. I took my time pulling on my clothes and watched the morning light fall over the beach, wrapping my arms around my legs as I stared out at the ocean. I felt like such a fool after yelling at everyone last night. Who did I think I was? It was Sam and Carlisle's business to look after their families and here I was, some girl who didn't have nearly as much connection with La Push as they did, telling them what they should do. I didn't know how I was going to face everyone again.

I wasn't even angry at Edward and Bella anymore. I'd put myself in the way of his fist so I guess I'd deserved it. My reaction had been automatic. The thought of Jacob getting hurt in any way made my heart twist painfully and if at any point I could avoid damage to him, I would do it. His emotional hurt was one thing but if I lost him, I wasn't sure I'd be able to survive it. Not even Ben would be able to put me back together then.

I sighed as I stood up and made my way along the beach. Ben hadn't put anything in the note about Jacob and I could only admit to myself that it hurt a little. I had the overwhelming urge to see him then and my heart ached as I contemplated whether he'd even _want_ to see me. After last night, would he be angry at me? And the rest of the boys! I didn't think I could face them.

As I made my way through the La Push roads I found my feet taking me to the Black's house. I didn't even realise where I was until I stood in their front yard, frozen as I stared at the front door. My hair was tangled and wet as it clung to my face. I hadn't bothered trying to get the tangles out. Long curly hair wasn't the easiest to maintain, especially when it was matted with salt. My clothes were damp as I'd climbed into them wet and my feet had sand and grit plastered to them. I sighed and rubbed my arms as I went to the door. I didn't even bother to knock and the door wasn't locked. I crept down the Black's cramped hallway as quietly as I could and opened Jacob's door.

He was magnificent. He lay sprawled across his bed, no blankets, a small frown spread across his face as he slept. His arms were flung out above his head and his muscled chest rose and fell smoothly with his slumbered breathing. He looked warm and I wanted to wrap myself up in him for the whole day, just him and I.

I tip toed to his bed as quietly as I could and sat down gently on his bed. I watched him for a few moments in his uneasy sleep, tempted to wake him but terrified to at the same time. His skin called out to my hands and my lips. I was not at all surprised that this beautiful man was loved by more than just one person. Bella was spoilt for choice really. I could admit that Edward was perhaps one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen and his beauty could never be replicated. But then, neither could Jacob's.

It wasn't only Jacob's looks that we were warm and picturesque though. It was his entire nature. To me, Jacob Black in his entirety was exquisite and I wanted to embrace him and nurture him always. I wanted to protect him and ensure he was happy at whatever cost - Even if that meant accepting his love for Bella Swann and always being second. I was prepared for that. Mentally. Physically. I felt a compelling pride in Jacob. I could say, beyond a doubt, that I was _proud_ to stand by his side in a fight, to walk beside him down the street, to say that I was one of his closest friends. Jacob's presence was powerful and in turn that made me feel powerful. He was intoxicating.

As he shifted in his sleep his frown deepened and then so did mine. He looked like he was having an unpleasant dream and I reached up to run my hand along his forehead gently.

"Jacob, honey... wake up..." I whispered.

He stirred under my hands and as he forced his eyes open he stared at me for a moment. "Sorry, I woke you up. You looked like you were..."

I didn't get to finish as he crushed me to him in a bear hug. Some of the knots in my shoulders seized up and I struggled against him after a while. "Jacob, please... not so tight." I said lightly.

As I tried to pull away he took my face in his hands and kissed me roughly, pulling me to him. "Jacob," I murmured in between kisses. "Wait."

He didn't stop though. He took my arms and pulled them around his neck, as he shuffled me into his lap. His fingers had made it into my hair and he was pulling back only briefly to inspect my face. He seemed to take in everything, running light fingers over my eyes and my nose, my lips and my neck. He kissed me everywhere, his lips quickly healing any small hurt I'd had from the night before. And then words and apologies, explanations and reasons were falling from his mouth. His grip on me didn't slacken though and I was held rigid.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about last night and everything that's going on with Bella. I was going to kill Edward! You're right. You're right about everything. The tribe and the Cullen's and all this stuff is being made complicated when it could be so easy if we all just worked together. And I'm sorry about hurting you these last couple months and I'm sorry about not being straight up with you about Bella and everything, I'm sorry about everything! But I see all this now. If you just stay with me and give me the opportunity to make it up to you, I'll show you that I love you. I'll show you that I can make you happy and I can take care of you and that I can change. I don't want to fight with them anymore and I've made peace with Bella and now it's you and me. I'm sorry, Lani. I'm sorry, ok?"

His lips were on mine again. His kiss was all the proof I needed. He leant his forehead against mine, kissing me softly again and again.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." He whispered against my mouth in between kisses. He hadn't let me get a word in during his whole rant and there was nothing I could say really. I hadn't expected or even wanted an apology but he had somehow felt like he needed to give one.

When he opened his mouth to speak again, I put my hand over his mouth and smiled slightly.

"No more apologies. You don't need to say sorry anymore. And none of that matters anyway." I took his face in my hands this time and pushed my mouth against his.

"I _love_ you. _So. Much._ I wouldn't care if you still wanted to kill the Cullen's and I don't care if you still love Bella. I know how _I_ feel and that's all that matters to me. That and being able to do this."

I crushed my mouth to his again and ran my hands over his chest. His skin underneath my hands felt so good. And the warmth! He was so warm! After the coolness of the beach and the ocean, being against his warm skin was the most amazing sensation. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with such passion that I hoped he would be able to feel at least a portion of the love I felt for him at that moment. He moaned against my mouth and I felt my heart stutter as our tongues danced together. His hands had made it under my shirt and he was stroking my skin, his fingers dancing at the edge of my shorts.

"You can do this as much as you want." He murmured, grinning against my mouth as he kissed me again.

"Mm. I'd hoped you'd say that." We didn't talk much for a while after that. All I knew was that I didn't want to move away from him. I managed to give him an apologetic look as I glanced guiltily at the sand that I'd sprinkled onto his sheets with my dirty feet. He laughed and returned to my mouth, hardly sparing a glimpse at his beach filled blankets.

"Why do you _always_ try and distract me when I'm finally getting I want?" He mumbled against my neck as he ran his large palms along my stomach underneath my shirt. The pressure on my skin, sent shivers through me and the way his fingers gently grazed my skin, set me on fire.

"Whose to say that this isn't what _I_ want?" I murmured back as his assault on my neck coaxed a soft moan out of me.

Jacob chuckled softly and kissed down my neck teasingly. As he got to the collar of my shirt, he leaned up to grin at me. "Can we _please_ dispose of this? It's not doing me any favours." He said as he looked pointedly at my shirt.

I laughed. "You know..." I grinned and raised my eyebrows suggestively, gazing at him. "I can't be held responsible for what happens if this comes off."

He smiled and leaned down to give me a chaste, soft kiss. "I want you. Only you." He whispered against my mouth. My insides squirmed with butterflies and my heart started it's annoyingly erratic palpitations again.

"Then I'm yours." I murmured back, taking his hands and leading them to the bottom of my shirt.

I can't really explain the sensations that were running through me in that moment. Running, flying, throwing myself off a cliff, giving myself to the ocean – none of that compared to how I felt with Jacob against me. Bella might have thought that she got a better deal out of Edward but in that moment I was pretty positive she was wrong. Who would prefer the cold over this kind of warmth? This all embracing, all-powerful, unstoppable warmth.

Jacob's hands tugged the shirt up and over my head and then his fingers were back at the button of my shorts. His movements were gentle as he held my gaze with his. His movements were soothing, as if I was a fragile piece of china. He placed soft kisses on my stomach, my breasts, my neck, the whole time whispering things my brain could hardly translate.

"Beautiful..." It felt like his breath was tattooing itself on my skin and I didn't mind at all.

Somehow our clothes had disappeared entirely and I was breathing in Heaven and Earth. Jacob was magic personified. We were as close as physically possible and I was engulfed in it. Jacob moaned in my ear and I was sure we were about to set the whole room on fire. I kissed his shoulder as moved on top of me. There was nothing in this world better than having Jacob inside me.

I vaguely remember whispering things... hearing his breath in my ear... the sensation of his thighs against my own, his hands on every possible place on my body, feeling him inside me... him holding me, the impression his lips and hands left on my skin, the euphoria... and then all of this repeated again and again. Utter bliss.

And then finally, I remember falling asleep in his arms as his voice sung me to sleep.

"_Meet me in outer-space. We could spend a night, watch the earth come up. I've grown tired of that place, won't you come with me? We could start again..."_ His hand crept over my hip and pulled me closer to him. I let out a long contented sigh and smiled sleepily as he kissed my shoulder.

"_How do you do it? Make me feel like I do? How do you do it, its better than I ever knew."_ His voice was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard, his warm husky tones lulling me into a groggy dozing state. I loved this song.

"_Meet me in outer-space. I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights. I need you to see this place – it might be the only way that I can show you how it feels to be inside you – How do you do it? Make me feel like I do? It's better than I ever knew..."_

**Hello. I am extremely nervous about this chapter. My poor faith in my writing has come to a culmination here! I was actually going to put this at the top of the chapter but then it may have put you off the chapter altogether! Anyway, I feel like I have to explain myself a little – I want to fully convey Lani's love for Jacob and I hope to do it here. I can't write lemons for shit and to be honest, I doubt an all out lemon would really do Lani's character any justice anyway. The way I want her feelings to come across is a little more 'all-encompassing' than just a quick go in the sack with Jacob (I'm such a loser, forgive me!) so I hope this will suffice and please don't burn me. I'm wracked with the guilt that I've somehow screwed this chapter anyway. Oh, and props to Incubus.**

**E x**


	23. Chapter 22

The sun was going down by the time I woke up and Jacob wasn't next to me. I stretched, stiff and moved to get out of his bed. I did a quick trip around the room to gather my clothes and dressed quickly, slightly self conscious. The fear of leaving the room sat at the back of my mind and when it finally came time to emerge I hesitated at the door handle. My sensitive hearing immediately picked up the deep voices of the pack and there was a vague sweet smell that seemed horribly familiar. I cringed and took a deep breath. Better to get it over and done with.

I chucked my hair up quickly and when I opened the front yard to walk out into the Black's front yard, my face fell. There, gathered in the front yard, was everyone. A make-shift BBQ had been erected and chairs from what looked to be the Black's kitchen and some obviously taken from Sam and Emily's, scattered the yard. My mom and dad sat with a glass of wine each talking animatedly to a man clad in a Sheriff's uniform. It could only be Bella's dad.

Billy and Sue sat at an old picnic table next to the BBQ, with Esme and Carlisle across from them. Standing uneasily were Alice and Rosalie, watching a game of touch (my game!) between my pack brothers, minus Ben and Seth who had joined, Edward, Emmett and Jasper on the other side. Sam stood among them, whistling with his fingers as he refereed the game.

I felt like I'd lost my stomach completely. This all had to be a dream. I must be still asleep. Perhaps if I turned around and went back inside I'd find my body still fast asleep in Jacob's bed.

And then approaching me were Jacob and Bella. I stared, swallowed and willed my stomach not to give up on me now. I could quite possibly throw up at any minute now.

"Babe! You're awake!" Jacob's grin was huge and Bella blushed as she followed him closely behind. I smiled weakly in return and I felt my cheeks redden as Jacob kissed me gently and slipped his arm around my waist.

"Come on, everyone's waiting to see you." I was dizzy. I could not believe that everyone had just kissed and made up over night. My mom and dad had spotted me and they beckoned me over to them, smiling. I wanted nothing more than to go to them immediately.

Bella seemed to catch their movement. She unleashed a deep apologetic look on me. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Jacob looked at me quickly, asking me with his gaze if that was okay.

"Yeah, of course." I muttered as Jacob kissed me on my forehead quickly.

"Don't be too long. I've missed you." He whispered in my ear quickly as he moved over to my parents. I suppressed the urge to shudder at his breath in my ear, pushing away the memories from this morning. I didn't want to think about what he'd been saying to my parents. My butterflies continued to fly.

I followed Bella to a swing seat that sat on the porch and sat down cautiously. She looked nervous.

"Hey, I'm sorry about yelling at you. Heat of the moment, you know." I said lightly, smiling and hoping she'd give one in return.

She frowned slightly instead. "No, don't be sorry. I deserved that. _I'm_ sorry for all this. You were right about everything."

I sighed. "I had no right to say the things I did the other night. Carlisle and Sam know what's best for their own families."

"Maybe. But sometimes they need to be prompted into seeing things that they may have overlooked."

"I guess." I looked away at the boys playing in the yard and was surprised to see them laughing. This dream just got weirder.

"Am I forgiven?" She asked quietly. She truly felt like she'd done something wrong. I couldn't disagree more. I somehow felt responsible for taking Jacob away from her and that had never been my intention. I couldn't remember the point at which I'd distanced myself from the Cullen's and now I regretted it. I had had fun hanging out with her, Alice and Edward and even if I denied it, I knew that most of the reason why I'd become distant was the prejudice that I'd gotten used to with the tribe and also because of my obsession with Jacob.

"Am _I?_"

She seemed confused about what I was asking but then her expression changed and she smiled softly.

"I've never seen Jacob so happy. Seeing him happy makes me happier than you know. I should be thanking you. And this," she said as she nodded with her head at our families, "This is the way it's supposed to be. And it's because you said something that everyone needed to hear. Even me."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "It would have happened eventually. You're the connection, Bella. Don't you know that? What you mean to everyone is the reason why we're all here."

Her eyes glittered with tears and I grinned, reaching over to hug her gently. I gave her a quick squeeze and pecked her cheek. "Friends, okay?"

She gave a watery smile and nodded, hugging me back. "Absolutely. You'll come around right? With Jacob?"

I laughed – Me and Jacob in the Cullen's house with Bella and Edward. A week ago that would have been hilarious.

"I would love that. Really. But first, I have a favour to ask."

Bella looked concerned and I laughed. "It's nothing big. Promise. Can you just tell me how the hell all this happened? Why are those boys throwing a ball around together?! And why is Billy sharing a table with Esme and Carlisle?!"

Bella laughed too and her eyes shone with happy tears again. "When you left last night, Jacob went crazy. He basically told Billy and Sam that you were right. Yelled it at them, actually. Edward was the same. He was so sorry for hitting you it was like as soon as he saw you were hurt his whole view of this mess flipped around. I was afraid that Jacob and Edward might kill each other but when they saw you leave they just snapped. I've never seen so many difficult people admit they just may have been wrong."

I blinked, stunned. "And it happened just like that?" I couldn't believe it.

Bella laughed and shook her head. "Well not immediately, obviously. Like a coven of vampires and a pack of werewolves would settle things over that fast! There was a lot of yelling and hissing and – you get it. Funnily enough, Esme was the one that calmed everyone down. She stood up and asked if anyone was concerned at all that you'd just thrown yourself off a cliff."

I couldn't help it. I laughed hysterically. I could just imagine the scene – what an utter laugh!

"Honestly, it was the most bizarre thing. And we were all guilty. When your brother left to go and see if he could find you down at the beach, Sam, Jacob, Edward and Carlisle went into the forest and talked for hours. By the time they came back something had changed. I don't know what it was." Bella had taken on a far-off gaze, a warm smile gracing her face.

"Jacob called me this morning and asked me to tell the Cullen's to come down this afternoon. When we arrived, I don't know... it was like everyone had just woken up from a bad dream." She sighed contentedly and her gaze swept the yard.

"I've missed La Push so much, you know. And now I can finally come here when I want to. I'm so _happy_, Lani and in part, I have you to thank for that."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Please don't start with that. I still can't believe everyone was able to change their opinions in 24 hours. It's wacked. Do you reckon if you pinch me I'll wake up and this will all be a dream?"

"I wouldn't say it's all smoothed over yet," she looked pointedly to Alice and Rosalie and smirked at me knowingly, "but it's a start."

"Very true. Now, as intriguing as this conversation is, I'm starving! And my parents are looking at me like I might be a hallucination. I better go and let them know I'm not a dream."

She laughed and followed me over to everyone. As soon as Edward saw her approach, he smiled and left the game to envelope her in his arms – How very unsurprising.

I was ready to die with embarrassment as the boys finally noticed me among the adults. Jared, Paul, Quill and Embry winked teasingly at Jacob who commenced swiping half hearted punches at their heads. He smiled the whole time.

I coloured a deeper red and flipped my middle finger, stealthily out of view from my parents, towards my pack brothers, mouthing an extremely obvious "fuck you" to which they laughed raucously, clapping Jacob on the shoulder as they grinned at me suggestively. I glared at them – Ok, I'd set myself up for that one.

Jasper and Emmett had rejoined Alice and Rosalie who both continued to look uncomfortable. Their faces were pinched, noses wrinkled at the smell. I almost laughed. If anyone, Rosalie was exaggerating. We were outside for fuck's sake. Even I didn't mind their sweet reek _that_ much. At least we weren't cramped inside the Black's house!

As soon as I sat down in between mom and dad they gave me the full parental treatment. They'd been given the run down from Billy and Sam and they took thorough inventory of my jaw. Nothing missing – even my tooth had grown back exponentially fast. I had a slow pick-up as Dad asked me how the Clearwater's had been last night and I answered vaguely along the lines of, "Yeah, good," and "Hung out with Jacob today and fell asleep".

"Funny that, cause Ben never came home. He popped in last night to pick up your clothes and said everyone was staying at Leah's." Dad mused.

I raised an eyebrow. How bizarre.

"Oh yeah. Me and Jacob escaped so we wouldn't have to share his food." I joked. How curious that Ben hadn't stayed at home last night either.

"Speak of the devil." My mom chimed as Ben appeared at my side, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"Hey bro. Alright?" I said grinning.

"Am now that I see you're alive!" I glared at him as mom and dad raised their eyebrows curiously at his comment.

"Yeah, well. A few survive unscathed when Jacob's in one of his feeding frenzies." I covered smoothly.

Ben made a face and mouthed sorry as he ducked back over to the boys who now surrounded the BBQ where Leah, Emily and Rachel were busy cooking a mountain of meat. Ben reached to pick up a hot piece of steak from the grill and was hit around the head by Leah. Her usual scowl was absent and was replaced by a radiating smile. Odd.

The amount of food was ridiculous. Esme and Alice had disappeared into the Black's kitchen with Sue and Charlie to collect a staggering collection of bowls and plates filled with breads and salads. I was surprised when Emily piped in to say that Esme had actually prepared the majority of the food and was even more surprised when there were a chorus of "thank yous" from the boys who were now ravenously consuming their individual collections of overflowing plates.

The Cullen family ate nothing of course. Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Edward and Emmett seemed to be the only ones unconcerned about being in the presence of werewolves. They spoke with the tribe's adults enthusiastically and I overheard talks of myths, legends and an array of complicated theorising on vampire and werewolf abilities. I tuned out at 30 seconds. I thought it was a pretty good effort on my part.

Rosalie in the mean time threw glares at anything non-vampire and Jasper merely looked pained and uncomfortable. I remembered Alice mentioning how hard it was for him to be around humans and I felt a gratitude to him in trying to rid him self of the desire to drink human blood. Funnily, I didn't feel worried at all. Despite Rosalie and Jasper's awkwardness I knew they were good people, dedicated to this strange new truce.

When night fell, Jasper and Ben lit a small bonfire in the yard and Alice busied herself pulling a long string of fairy-lights from her Porsche, adorning them along the small porch and some close surrounding trees. The Black's yard lit up in warm light and I looked over our large group of unlikely new allies. It was a beautiful sight.

"Finally!" Jacob's relieved sigh came from behind me as his hands appeared around my waist. "You've been talking to the oldies all night. Thought you'd forgotten about me already!"

I snorted. "Not likely."

I blushed as he leaned over to kiss me softly on the cheek. "Don't do that." He mumbled against my cheek. I felt his lips smile against my skin. I wanted desperately to climb back into his bed with him, my body curled up against his.

"Do what?"

"That. You blush like you're embarrassed. We're not doing anything wrong are we?"

I rolled my eyes and kissed him back as his mouth found its way to mine. "No, but if you don't stop kissing me I'm going to have to demand we go to your room right now and that'll be a bit shit considering we've only just started being best friends with our vamp's over there and my parents are watching us."

Jacob glanced in the direction of my mom and dad and waved. My mom looked amused. My dad looked disgruntled. Great.

I growled and shoved his chest lightly as he laughed and pulled me to him. His laugh was beautiful. "Point taken but you're going to have to tell them about us eventually."

"Pft! Like they don't already know with the way you've been acting!" He looked like he was about to retort when he paused briefly. I followed his gaze to watch an approaching Edward.

"Looks like someone wants to talk to you."

I grimaced and clutched at Jacob a little more tightly than necessary.

"You want me to stay with you?" He asked worriedly.

I shook my head and gave him a smile, kissing him again gently. "No, it's fine."

Edward nodded at Jacob in acknowledgement. "Jacob. Lani."

I untangled myself from Jacob's arms and smiled at him reassuringly. "It's all good. Go and keep Bella company." He didn't seem entirely convinced but nodded anyway, leaning over to kiss my forehead gently.

Before he walked to Bella, he fixed Edward with a hard gaze. "It's all good between us now but if you upset her, I won't hold back this time." Jacob refrained from saturating his words in hostility and for that I was grateful. That aside, Edward seemed to accept it without a hint of protest or complaint. It felt like a replay of the conversation I'd had with Bella a few hours earlier.

When Jacob was safely on the other side of the yard with Bella, I gave a tentative smile.

"You're not going to give me the same speech as Bella are you? Friends again?"

Edward's face was tranquil in the fire-light, his impassive expression carved perfectly. "I truly didn't mean to hit you last night. I'm horrified I did that to you."

His face crumpled with apology and I frowned slightly, putting a hand on his shoulder. He flinched slightly, no doubt cause of my warmth.

"I would have done the same thing if I was in your position. Jacob was out of line – Forgive him. You know what he's like when he's angry. He would never intentionally hurt Bella."

Edward nodded and smiled. "I know. I know he'd never hurt you either. I guess all of us were wrong in some way."

I laughed. "Exactly. So, no more sorrys for today, okay? I'm having fun for once."

"It's a funny circumstance that we find ourselves in. All of us together like this." I watched Edward's gaze sweep the yard coming to finally settle on Bella's face. We watched Bella and Jacob's contented smiles. I realised then that I'd never seen Bella and Jacob so happy in each other's presence. It was kind of lovely to watch how easily they got on with each other. I wasn't surprised in the least that they had been best friends – that they were _still_ best friends even after all that had happened.

"You guys look good together, you know. Jacob loves you very much." Edward murmured, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He watched me as I watched them.

I laughed. "Thanks, I think. You guys – well... you guys are perfect for each other. Bet you've never heard that before."

Edward laughed and it was striking. "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

We stood in silence next to each other for a few moments more, content with the scene in front of us. "Will you and Jacob come to the wedding?"

I smiled and nodded. "Of course, we will." And then Edward surprised me and actually leaned across to hug me. It was uncomfortable with our conflicting temperatures but I returned it. It was like hugging stone and yet his intention was potent. His embrace said 'friendship'.

"Come on. We can't let those two have all the fun without us." Edward grinned as he offered me his arm and I linked mine through his as we wandered to the other side of the yard where our hearts were waiting for us.


	24. Chapter 23

My casual jog down First Beach in the morning light had turned into a brisk run and as I hit the end of the crescent where the beach turned into jagged rocks that led to the bottom of the cliff (and the cave I had been spending far too much time in lately), I turned around and headed back the way I had come. The thumping bass in my headphones gave my body a shock of early morning drum and bass and I let the music soak into me as I let the quick rhythm dictate the movement of my legs. By the time I hit the middle of the beach I was taking on an all out sprint. My bare feet felt the uneven and soft terrain of the sand and I pushed harder with my toes, coaxing momentum out of each new stride. My arms pumped at my sides, keeping the movement of my torso and legs in a consistent continual motion.

I expected to feel my heart burn as I picked up speed but it never came. There was nothing but the overwhelming and heady feeling of speed. This was better than driving with Alice in her fast car, better than Edward showing off in his Volvo – I had utter control of my velocity. It didn't come from someone else and I didn't have to push pedals and change gears in order for a vehicle to take me at the pace I wanted to go. It was all me.

As the sun finally broke the horizon and I felt the new day warmth across my skin in a gentle glow, I pushed for one last leg of the beach, turning to take another lap back to the cliff. I caught a movement on the road and was sure I caught the familiar hue of brown and russet skin on a tall human figure and another man – brighter - but I ignored it. I wouldn't feel satisfied if I didn't make one more lap down the beach. I felt for my headphone chord around my neck and quickly pushed the volume slider up higher. Thick bass hit my ears and then my chest and I let pungent synthetic atmospherics goad the heat out of my centre and into my legs. I could feel my heart physically expand with energy. My lungs controlled my breathing with little effort and my mind soared with exhilaration. I wanted to take on the world.

By the time I got to the cliff face again I had to consciously make the effort to slow down. As I pivoted on my right foot to turn back around again, I began to slow my pace back to the brisk run I had begun with. I achieved that by the half way mark of the beach and by the time Jacob and Edward came into view I was back down to my jog. I stopped mere meters from them and collapsed on the sand on my back, staring up at morning blue sky. I smelt Edward's sweetness in the air but was comforted by the stronger smell of salt and sea. My limbs were tingling with my physical exertion, not in pain but in delight. I felt pumped for the day ahead.

My view of the sky was quickly obstructed by Jacob's face as peered down at me. He grinned and held out his hand to pull me up.

"Quick. Real quick." He said as he pulled me to my feet and covered my mouth with his. I returned his kiss and smirked.

"Gee. Thanks. Race ya sometime."

He snorted as I pulled away. "What's the point? You would only cry when you lost."

I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder lightly. "I know you're scared."

Jacob looked humorously unconvinced.

"What're you guys doing down here so early anyway?"

"We just got off patrol and we saw you down here." Edward's ethereal voice drifted to me from the shoreline where he stood contentedly looking out at the ocean. His posture was perfect as he stood with arms folded, his expression a perfect carving of peace and tranquillity.

"Right. And?"

"Just reminded me you were just the person we were looking for." Edward was grinning with a glint of hope in his eye.

"Oh, really?" My voice was thick with suspicion.

"Yes. We have a favour to ask you."

I stood up and dusted the sand off my butt, sighing. 'Why do I not like the sound of this?"

Jacob laughed and we wound our arms around each other's waists, wandering closer to Edward. "Just hear him out, babe." I raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Alright then. Hit me with it."

"A combined engagement and graduation party." Edward said solemnly. I blinked and then giggled. The giggle quickly turned into an uncontrollable laugh.

"Is that a huge joke?" I managed to get out.

Edward frowned slightly which would have been fine if it hadn't looked emphasised in severity by his beautiful face. "Look, Bella won't let Alice organise one at the house and it would probably be better here anyway. Besides, Ben's graduation is coming and Jacob says it's your birthday soon-"

I turned around immediately and shoved Jacob's chest, all laughter gone. "How did you know?! Argh!"

Jacob was disgustingly smug and I narrowed my eyes growling. "Do the party but don't involve me in it. Besides, why talk to me about it? You couldn't get me to organise it if you paid me."

Edward laughed. "Don't get mad at him, it was my idea. Besides, I heard you thinking about it the other day. You're not too quick on the uptake sometimes, Lans. The other day your mum and dad were saying that Ben's friends are coming to visit from Manoa, is that right?"

"Oh, yeah. They've meaning to do it for ages and now seemed like a good time considering he's graduating. You know Bella's not going to be happy about this though, right?"

"Well... that's why we were hoping you would talk to her." Edward's gaze was pleading and I groaned.

"Why me? Why don't _you_ talk to her?" I said, looking at Jacob. "She's _your_ best friend!"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "You know that she won't listen to me! Besides, it's more of a celebration – it's not just about her. Ben's graduation, the engagement, your birthday and all of us at peace – it's a worthy occasion right?"

I sighed, defeated. "Yes, it is. But still. Get Jasper to talk to her. At least he can make sure she doesn't hit anyone, especially me!" There was no conviction in my voice whatsoever. Of course I would do it. And they knew it too! Did they not know using beauty and unmatched good looks to get what you wanted was almost a crime?

Edward laughed and shuffled over to give me a very brief kiss on the forehead. "You're a star, Lans." I growled and punched him in the chest lightly, moving away from Jacob. He frowned slightly and reached for me again but I was already moving up the beach. Edward followed closely behind, heading for his car that shone brightly in the sunlight on the side of the road.

"I'll tell Bella you'll be around later!" Edward called as he got into his car. I gave him a mock scowl but nodded. As he drove away, Jacob had caught up to me and had placed his hand in mine.

"So, breakfast?!" His smile was contagious and his warmth next to me just made the start of my day better.

I laughed and nodded, as he led me to the Uley's down the road.

Following the first night of our alliance everything changed. The Cullen's were regular visitors to the reservation and our boys often found themselves in the kitchen of the Cullen's big white house when near their side of the treaty line. It all seemed very surreal to me. It didn't seem feasible that everyone change so fast. I constantly pushed away my pessimistic thought that it was just too good to be true but it was never far from me.

Sam kept us alert and running lines around La Push as often as possible but we never came across anymore curious vampires. It left us feeling uneasy. To have a coven turn up one night and then disappear abruptly afterwards after losing two of their own, it wasn't right. Carlisle had called as many friends as he knew in his elusive vampire world but none could provide any information. Sam grew frustrated as the days went on and Carlisle's uneasiness reiterated my personal panic. If Carlisle was wary then everyone else should be to.

Bella and Edward's wedding crept closer. Bella had asked Jacob to be her 'best man' which he accepted. When we weren't in school or busy with the pack or busy with each other, Jacob and I spent a lot of time at the Cullen's house hanging out with Bella, Edward and Alice. We didn't think twice as we went into the vampire palace now and even got on easier terms with Emmett and Jasper. They would not forgive us for the smell though, which we laughed about whenever we saw their faces pinched. Jacob and I had grown so used to it now we hardly noticed when we walked inside.

Jacob and Edward seemed to have established some sort of friendship for boys only which they seemed to think Bella and I didn't notice. They began to share inside jokes that Bella and I didn't understand at all and we would often come home from a painful shopping spree with Alice to find them talking very seriously in the Cullen's impressive backyard. When Bella saw this her eyes would shine with something very near contentment and go to hug them both immediately. I would then catch their stealthy looks while she wasn't looking. Something at the back of my mind told me that they weren't just talking about hanging out on the weekend.

Jacob tended to spend more time with the Cullen's than I did, making the most of his freedom to see Bella again as well as having a hand in the wedding preparations. I understood completely and would suffer the day quite happily without him by my side. To fill his absence I spent most of my time with the pack. Quill became a close friend of mine and hanging out with the other boys and Ben was actually wonderful. As cheesy as it sounded there was a kind of solidarity between us and it bought all of us closer together. Ben and I caught the surf as often as possible and when no one was around I wished for only one thing – To shift into anything other than the wolf and take off into the ocean or the sky.

My friendship with Quill began to emphasise my growing distance from Ben and this time it wasn't me. Things weren't uncomfortable with me and Ben but when I'd expect to find him at home, he wasn't there. Sometimes we would be out in the bay, waiting to catch a wave and I'd look around only to find he'd disappeared. I'd look to the shore and there he'd be climbing out of the tide, waving an apology. The same thing when we were together with the pack. Sometimes he would just disappear. It was all very suspicious behaviour and I decided the next time he did it I would confront him.

Other than all of these things though, there was a potent kind of contentment in the air. It was like summer holidays around Christmas time when everyone shared their affection for one another. I finally felt grounded and at home. It was hard for me to remember Manoa when everything about La Push now seemed so familiar and comforting. The connections and love between the pack, our parents, the Cullen's and the rest of the tribe was so overwhelmingly heartening I grew anxious knowing that Ben would be leaving for college soon and in a year, so would I. Being comfortable wasn't a good enough excuse for me to stay here and after all the hopes I'd had of leaving a year earlier, I couldn't find a good enough reason for staying put except for maybe Jacob.

I didn't even need to ask if he would leave La Push. He wouldn't. He was just as much a part of this place as the beach was – He was immovable. To take him away from La Push would make La Push a completely different place altogether and yet the independent side of me couldn't bring myself to stay just because of him. The plan to study overseas had been set in stone from the outset and my college savings were waiting to be spent on a flight ticket and course fees either back in Hawaii, or Tahiti, or even Australia or New Zealand. I would not change my dreams. Not even for love.

My anxiety about this decision could not remove the fact that I was almost positive Jacob would not find it hard to let go of me eventually. Embry imprinting had bought home the fact that that was not how it was between Jacob and I. After the initial hurt of that realisation, I simply avoided thinking about it. Jacob and I had avoided talking about imprinting like the plague but I knew that eventually it would be staring us in the face, unavoidable and probably set on ripping my heart out. I had plenty of time to prepare for that.

By the time I got to the Cullen's house that day, Bella was grumpy and sullen. Alice had once again gone overboard on the guest list and had been trying to coax her into the car without having to physically pick her up, in an attempt to take her to look at decorations, meet with caterers and finalise her wedding dress. When I walked in the door, Bella almost ran into my arms.

"Lani! She's out of control!" I laughed as she shuffled behind me after a brief hug, mocking fear of Alice. Alice responded with a bored look and then she turned a pleading gaze on me.

"Please, you've got to talk some sense into her Lans. She's being difficult!" I grinned, as I grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her over to the couch where Alice sat.

"Ladies, ladies, this can all be solved with negotiation. Have I taught you nothing?" Bella snorted and Alice rolled her eyes.

"Kidding! Dude, tough crowd. Alice, you do the catering and the decorations. Bella doesn't care at all. And besides you've probably got better taste than she does." Bella shot me an indignant look and I laughed.

"Well, tell me it's not true and I'll apologise." She mumbled something about it not being the point but her indignant look immediately disappeared.

"I think you should definitely get the dress sorted though, Bella. Then you have nothing to worry about until the wedding day. Also, Bella has veto rights on the guest list Alice. You know this. I don't know why you continue to debate that." Alice pouted but grudgingly accepted.

"There. Now that you're both happy, I have more news that you will both most likely hate me for but I want you to know that it has nothing to do with me, I'm just the messenger." Alice raised an eyebrow curiously and Bella looked terrified. I laughed and patted her leg.

"Oh, don't look so scared Bella. I just came to tell you that we're having a party down at La Push for your engagement." Bella's eyes immediately widened and her lips pushed into a hard line.

"Before you say anything, it won't just be for you. We're going to celebrate Ben's graduation _and_ all of us coming together. Which I think is worthy. So swipe that pained look off your face, it's making my stomach queezy." Bella groaned and collapsed backward on the couch, looking as if someone had betrayed her. I laughed and poked her side.

"Oh, stop it!"

When I looked at Alice her eyes were alight. "Oh and you're not organising anything Alice."

"What?! Why?! What have I ever done to deserve this?!" She was immediately on her feet, mirroring Bella's betrayed look.

I couldn't help it. I was in a fit giggles as she paced in front of me and Bella continued to look sick. "You two are so ridiculous sometimes. You have enough to organise with the wedding and Emily's feeling left out now that you and Esme seem to have organised everything _before_ anyone's even thought about it! Unfair advantage, you know, and it's only fair that you let Ems and Rach do something every now and then."

Alice didn't quite look defeated she accepted that also. I could already see her mind ticking over with a plan to contribute something to occasion even if it meant doing it in secret. I laughed and stood to leave. Bella looked up.

"Where are you going? You only just got here!" Bella didn't quite look ready to be alone with Alice again but I had the overwhelming urge to run.

"I'll stop by later, I really need to go for a run."

Alice frowned slightly and watched me closely. "Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be running out there without the pack?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I'm sick of running the beach in the mornings. I miss the forest track. Besides, you'll hear if I'm getting massacred by some rabid vampire."

Alice didn't look convinced. "Mm, still."

I smiled winningly and gave them both a brief hug and a peck on the cheek before gliding towards the door. "I'll stop by later! Try not to kill each other before I get back!"

I kicked off my shoes at the Cullen's backdoor and was already at the forest's edge before either of them could yell a goodbye. And then there was earth under my feet and I was back to freedom again. By the time I hit the river, Bella and Alice were long forgotten and I must have run for about 20 minutes before the smell hit me. I stopped abruptly at the base of a large spruce tree, the smell hitting me with such force that I felt the heat ripple around me instinctually. There were at least two of them out there and I was alone. I must be a couple miles out of La Push. If I phased now and howled, maybe Sam and the pack would get to me in time but I never got the opportunity. Standing a few feet away was one of the most beautiful men I had ever seen in my life, his eyes a murderous red and a sickeningly familiar smirk across his face. He wore no shirt and his pale stone chest glistened in the small rays of light that managed to make it through the thick canopy above us. His dark hair was cut short and the khaki trousers he wore were dirt stained. He was staring at me with the intention to attack.

"Shit." I muttered.


	25. Chapter 24

My mind went through a list of things ridiculously fast. The first was how this fucker had gotten past the pack. The second was how cruel fate was for shoving this in my face _just_ after I'd assured Alice that everything would be fine – was this a joke?! And third, was the judgement of how fast I could phase and rip the guys head off. Any phasing time was a vulnerability even if it was for a few seconds. So what did I do? I talked, of course.

"Hi." My voice came out weak and I mentally cringed.

I thought to move but I wanted to keep the tree at my back. I crouched slightly and held his gaze with mine. Despite being surrounded by beautiful people on a regular basis, it was still a shock to see this beautiful specimen in front of me.

My eyes took quick inventory of his stature and his stance. He had a slightly bigger build than Edward but was not quite as big as Emmett. His height was nowhere near Jacob's so that was an advantage. I didn't want to go scaling his height in order to rip off his head. He was muscular but again, would be no match for any of my pack brothers let alone Emmett. His gaze paid utter attention to my figure and I felt exposed. The thought that he was undressing me with his eyes tried to creep into my mind but I batted it away fiercely. I was going to kill him.

"Hello." His voice was musical and it twinkled painfully in my sensitive ears. I winced.

The smirk he had worn only moments ago disappeared to be replaced by a passive expression. I felt suddenly blind to his next move. I didn't know how fast he was but from his posture I knew his reflexes easily matched my own.

"Out for a walk?" I hated that my voice sounded so small. I was better than this!

"You could say that." His confident voice swamped my own and I frowned slightly.

"Why are you here?" I realised then that my burning curiosity was the only thing quelling my adrenaline. Without my adrenaline, the heat simply smouldered at my centre. The leech continued to watch me closely and then his muscles seemed to ease infinitesimally. I didn't move.

He continued to watch me in silence and I was becoming irritated. We must have stood there staring at each other for at least a minute. It felt like forever and as the seconds ticked by, my irritation grew. With the irritation came the adrenaline and I felt the heat creeping its way from my stomach to my heart.

"We're... curious." He finally said. I frowned again, feeling heat ripple down my arms.

"About what?! Go hunt somewhere else. You must know that we'll kill you." I snapped.

His smirk returned then and I involuntarily shuddered. "Oh, it's not the humans we're interested in."

And then it happened. He moved quickly and I was bursting out of my clothes. I yelped in surprise as he jumped on me half way through my phase. I snarled as I hit the ground, his arms squeezing too tightly around my legs. I bared my teeth and bit for anything I could find. My jaw struggled to break his stone skin, but as I broke his flesh, there was satisfactory loud hiss in my ear. As his grip loosened slightly, I ripped myself away from his clutches, standing on four feet in an attacking crouch. I successfully managed to put the tree at my back again and my teeth were bared. The wound in his shoulder was deep but not deep enough. He stood in his hunting crouch and was staring at me with his blood red eyes. It only made me angrier. I sent the heat to my hind legs as I prepared to jump.

As soon as I was airborne, he moved in blurring speed to the right and I hit the ground as he came around from behind me. I turned too late. He managed to kick my stomach hard and I was on my back, immediately. As soon as he moved to get on top of me, I bit at his arm, clawing at any part of his body that I could reach. His face contorted in pain as he struggled to hold me and then I saw his teeth. They glistened dangerously in the ray of light that had managed to illuminate his mouth and I realised he was about to sink them into my skin.

I growled and willed the heat to take reign of my body. I let it run to my heart and moved my torso, rolling our bodies over so that I was on top of him. My paws hit his chest and I leaned down to do further damage to his already hideously wounded shoulder. Before I could even sink my teeth in I was hitting the spruce tree that had only moments before been my advantage point. The other fucking bloodsucker had come!

I grunted as I hit the ground. I smelt their approach and turned to face them, snarling uncontrollably. I managed to let out one loud howl that I prayed would reach my brothers. I had been yelling in my head the whole time, desperate to feel the presence of my pack brothers through our bizarre mental connection. Flickering to life was Seth's voice who was asking far too many questions.

_Sam and Jacob are coming now. I'm already on my way. Where are you? Are you okay? How many of them are there?_

_Shut up, Seth! I'm in the middle of something here! Just move it!_

And then I was overcome with the presence of Jacob, Sam, Leah and Quill. I didn't know where everyone else was but it didn't matter. It would be more than enough to kill these guys. I was frustrated with the knowledge that if that other _leech_ hadn't shown up I would have been able to take care of this guy myself.

_Lani, baby, we're coming!_ Jacob's voice broke through the overexcited voices of the rest of the pack, saturated with worry and desperation.

_Don't worry about me. Just get here and help me finish them off! _I managed before I took another excruciating hit to the face.

Something that felt very close to a clever suddenly slashed through my shoulder. Their teeth felt like knives. I don't know how many times I was bitten. I don't even know how many times they kicked me. I put up a good fight and at some points thought I could have gotten away if I'd just taken off at the right time. It was too late now though. I'd never get away fast enough. All of this took place in a matter of seconds.

Though it felt like I'd been in pain for hours, I judged that only mere minutes had passed since I'd encountered the bastard that had managed to corner me. If I held out a few minutes more, Jacob would be here. All I had to do was hold on.

The dark haired leech loomed over me, his face a bloody mess. "Phase." He snapped at me.

I snarled and swung my head to bite at him. He scowled and punched me squarely in my face. Teeth shattered and this time, I had to howl in pain.

"Phase, NOW." He hissed.

A blonde haired figure to his right was snarling now too. "We need to get out of here now, Josh."

"How many coming?" He snarled, refusing to tear his gaze away from mine.

"One fucken huge coven and a pack of pissed off werewolves, now get that bitch to phase and let's move!" I thought I heard fear in the other bloodsuckers voice and I snarled again. Good. He should be afraid. A few more seconds and there was no way they'd be able to outrun both my families, especially Edward and Leah.

This small comforting thought was enough to distract me before I remember the one called Josh bringing his fist one last time to my snout and then everything went black.


	26. Chapter 25

I woke up parched. I must have been coughing in my sleep because when I opened my eyes, my throat burned painfully. My eyes felt stuck together and I blinked a few times to try and get them unglued. As soon as I was fully conscious a stab of pain went through my shoulder and I hissed, biting my lip. Where was I? My left arm seemed to be taped and only my shoulder was bandaged. The taping reminded me of the taping I used to use on my knees when I played Volleyball to hold my wounded knees in place so they wouldn't pop up. Perhaps my arm was broken.

I lay on a huge bed, covered with white silk sheets. I took a double take as I realised I was lying under this extremely expensive linen, naked. I tried to sit up and a sharp pain ran through my gut. I doubled over and clutched at my stomach, gasping and taking deep breaths to rid myself of the pain. As I moved the sheet away from me, I almost threw up as I found a deep cut down my stomach. I didn't realise I was whimpering until my sobbing physically wracked my torso, causing deep stabs of pain to ripple through the entirety of my body.

Moving my left arm hurt painfully and I tried to restrict the movement to hold back the hurting. I held the sheet to my chest again as I sat up and looked around. The room had no windows and an arrangement of candles sat flickering in the far corner of the room. A dull bed side lamp glowed to my right and next to it was a note.

_Don't try to move from this room. There is food on the table. Co-operate and you won't be harmed._

This felt like a really bad Bond movie. As the memory of what had happened suddenly burst into the forefront of my mind, my breath came quick and I felt a premature panic attack coming on. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself, clutching at the sheet.

I seemed to be fine apart from my shoulder and arm and as I studied the rest of me there didn't seem to be any other problems. My right thigh sported an impressive scar but other than that I seemed to be okay. My hair was tangled and matted but I couldn't bring myself to bring my arms up to tie it back.

I picked at the food that was left on the table, wincing now and then as I moved the wrong way. A pretty unhappy looking sandwich and a wilted salad sat on a side plate. I drank a large tumbler of stale water in one go and then nibbled a bit on the salami inside the sandwich but that was it. I felt ill and nauseous and as I moved back to bed I felt my eyes droop. I was so tired.

Seeing as I was still alive I supposed I shouldn't panic just yet. Remembering the slashing teeth of the bloodsuckers in the forest made me shudder and I lay back uncomfortably, staring at a cream coloured ceiling. The room was not large and apart from the bed and the antique furniture, it was barely decorated. The fact that I was lacking clothes was not a good sign but I expected it. After all, mine had gone to shit as soon as I'd phased. I needed to breathe and find out what was going on before I could start thinking of an escape plan. I couldn't deny that I was slightly curious. As I tried to recall the faces of the two vampires that I had encountered in the forest, I fell asleep again with a vague picture of blood red eyes and a beautiful face, framed by shaggy dark hair. What was his name again?

And then sleep took me once more.

* * *

When I woke up again there was a shooting pain in my shoulder and I must have screamed. My throat burned painfully and as I moved to sit up automatically, strong, cold hands pushed me back roughly onto the bed. The bandage had been removed and I recognised the man glaring at me, as the leech that had cornered me in the forest. I growled automatically and tried to pull away from him.

"Get the fuck away from me!" My voice came out scratchy and weak, as I clutched the sheet to my chest and pushed weakly against his chest with my right hand.

His beautiful face contorted into an ugly scowl and he gripped my wrist painfully, stilling me.

"Don't move or I'll rip that wound open." He hissed in my face and I narrowed my eyes, scowling.

"Fucken do it. You're going to kill me anyway."

He squeezed harder on my wrist and I thought my bones were ready to snap. I refused to flinch and gritted my teeth.

"I'm disappointed. I didn't know shapeshifters were so stupid. Especially werewolves." He snarled in my face.

I pushed him away again as hard as I could and spat at him with what little saliva I could get from my very dry throat. He froze and wiped his face with a paper towel next to him. He then bought his hand back in one swift motion and slapped me hard across the face.

I gasped and tried to control my breathing. The heat gathered in my centre and it tingled along my arms.

"Don't bother trying to phase. That shoulder won't heal for a long time. Your rejuvenation abilities seem to be inconsequential with a vampires bite." His voice was cold and he went back to redressing my bandages.

I felt a wave of desperation come over me then and tears stung at the corner of my eyes. I refused to cry though. My heart was squeezed painfully with panic and I felt weak and futile. Maybe if I phased I would be able to call out to my brothers. But my logic quickly overtook and even if I did phase, this bastard would probably finish me off before I even got the chance to send my thoughts out to the pack. Even without that, if my wound wouldn't heal, I'd be fucked with that kind of injury. Who was to say that they hadn't taken me to the other side of the world as well? If that was the case, there was no way Jacob would be able to hear me. I felt hopeless and wished that they would either kill me now or get whatever it is was that they were going to do to me, over with.

I flinched as he tested my arm, twisting it slightly from side to side with a gentle grasp. For a psycho he could be surprisingly gentle. He worked for a while, not saying anything. His actions and touch were tender after he slapped me and I clutched tightly to the sheet feeling self conscious and a little afraid. All I could think of was Jacob and how much I wanted him to be here. My heart ached, imagining how worried he must be.

"What do you want from us?" I asked quietly, after a while. He was re-bandaging my shoulder and I flinched as he touched a sensitive spot.

"I think you know." He didn't look at me, just continued to work, his cold voice, beautiful in the engulfing silence.

"Shapeshifting." I said blankly.

I heard scissors snip at something on my back and I pulled back as soon as I felt him remove his hands from my back.

"It's pointless you know. We can't learn it, so neither can you."

"Oh, we know. Genetics, right?" His smirk was disturbing and I frowned slightly, leaning away from him. He was intimidating and after his violent blows I didn't want to piss him off in any way.

"We wanted your Alpha. His link to the shapeshifting power would have been much more potent than yours but after the trouble we had with you, we realised it would have been far too difficult to contain him. You should consider yourself the weakest link." He was sneering in my face now and the urge to hit him overwhelmed me. I almost wished he had tried to get Sam. He wouldn't have lasted a second.

"And you called me stupid. You can't replicate a genetic line in yourself."

Josh, I assumed his name was, growled low under his breath and glared at me. "We'll find a way and if we don't... you'll make fine guard dogs."

I flinched and scowled. "They'll kill you. All of you. I hope you know that."

He laughed and it was beautiful. It disturbed me that I could even think that after what he'd done to me and especially after he'd just told me what he planned to do. He was leaning uncomfortably close now, sneering in my face.

"Oh, we're sending you back. We have all we want from you."

I felt like he'd slapped me again. I blinked at him shocked.

"I don't understand."

"You will." And then he took my injured shoulder in his hand and squeezed as if trying to pulverise a stone between his fingers with his superhuman strength. I screamed and then I must have fainted, the torture of pain too much for me to take.

* * *

I blearily remember movement and food being shoved into my mouth. I remember the stench of vampire and the overbearingly sweet sound of leeches and their unnaturally musical voices. I thought I remembered someone holding me but they were cold and reeked and each time I woke up to that realisation I tried in vain to push away from whoever it was. When I ran out of energy another cool hand stroked my tangled hair out of my face. I hated that I found it soothing and when they pulled away, I tried hard not to whimper at the lack of contact. I must have cried a lot during this time because I felt the whisp of a tissue against my cheeks more than once.

When I finally smelt the forest I think I must have sobbed out again. My stomach ached with physical pain the entire time and I found myself clutching at it whenever I could bear the stabbing ache of my shoulder. I could smell the blood now and then but I tried to block it as the nausea came again. The pain clouded my mind so much that I couldn't bring myself to even consider what it was that they had done to me. I was in a state of despair during the whole of my hellish sleep and then I remember being wrapped in a blanket and feeling my face hit mossy, damp ground. The stench and the sounds of sweet voices disappeared after that and I must have fallen asleep in the wet and the cold, bawling.

It was like a dream. As soon as I was sure that I was alone, I opened every last part of me to the forest. I was going to die.

I struggled to find the heat inside of me, begging it to come forth and comfort me. It was a dying flame somewhere in the centre of me, attempting but failing to heal me. I remember vaguely the familiar smells lulling me back and forth between pain and comfort. Was I home?

I don't know how long I lay out there but when I heard the voices, I think I must have had one last long break down of silent sobbing and tears. My voice wouldn't obey me and my limbs were immovable. Was I paralysed? Nothing made sense and even the trees above me looked like leering monsters, not the once majestic and consoling trees that I was so used to at home.

My home.

La Push.

Mom. Dad. Ben.

Jacob.

Jacob was my home.

Nothing made sense after that. My last reserve of strength had left me and I was ready for the light or whatever it was that came after life. What came after this life for supernatural beings? Did we just disappear? I didn't know or care. I had only wanted to see Jacob one last time.

And then his voice came. I tried to smile but it hurt so much that my face fell into a grimace instead. What a beautiful dream. I would settle for a dream seeing as I didn't get the real thing. I just wanted to see his face one last time, to imagine what we could have been and where we could have gone together.

His face was exactly as I remembered it. His lips and his beautiful brown skin, his eyes so deep with caring and _love._ His strong arms for holding me and his body for warming me. His entire being, for loving me. But this Jacob, looked different. He looked upset. I hated it when Jacob was upset. I wanted to hug him and kiss away whatever was bothering him. I tried to reach up and touch him but I couldn't. Why couldn't I? This was so frustrating! He needed me and my body was betraying me every step of the way.

Don't cry, honey... don't cry.

I thought it, but I couldn't physically voice it.

"Lani, baby, Lani... Oh, Lani..." He was crying as he whispered the words to me. My Jacob was crying. Why would he cry? Jacob never cried.

"Jacob... Jake... please... Jake..." My voice sounded far away, but at least it sounded like it wasn't only in my head. I felt myself being picked up in strong, warm arms. Jacob, please take me home, I thought.

"Sshh, honey. I'm taking you home. I'm here now. Shush, I'm here." His face was buried in my dirty hair and I was sobbing uncontrollably now. The pain shot through my body like an electric shock and I let out a sound halfway between a sob and a scream, crying even harder. Jacob's face was frantic and worried. The pain in his face reflected what I was feeling.

"Jake! What happened?!" Sam's voice came from far away and I buried my face in Jacob's chest, biting my lip to stop the sobbing. Jake held me tightly to his body and I wished that he would never let me go again.

"Please." Jacob's voiced cracked and I heard the agony in his voice. "Get Carlisle. She's... I don't even know..."

I felt his head shake and I clutched him weakly, whimpering and wincing as I moved my hand to rest against his chest as if I could attach myself to him permanently, if I could only just feel him under my skin.

"Sam!"

Was that Paul? Or Jared?

"Phase and go and get Carlisle. Call the others. And get Seth to run back to La Push now! Tell them we've found her!"

We were moving again then. Jacob's words to Sam faded in and out of my consciousness and all I registered were a lot of vague exclamations from Sam. Jacob hardly replied to his questions and statements, continuing to hold me tightly against him. I thought I tasted a few of his tears but I couldn't tell if they were mine or his. I held onto Jacob as tight as possible, the pain now so great that I was numb. His warmth and the sound of his breathing, so comforting, that it lulled me into sleep. My heart was filled with Jacob and I felt strengthened simply by hearing his breathing. The heat at the centre of me flared as I let Jacob's heat soak into me. Here with Jacob, I was home and I never... ever... wanted to leave.


	27. Hmm

So I've actually had two chapters written for the last month or so but I've put off posting mostly because I feel that I've lost the flow of the story completely. Reading through them again I'm not sure that I'm writing the same Lani and Jacob simply because I left it for too long. Anyway, I have them sitting here so if you want them anyway, PM me and I'll see what I can do.

E x


	28. Chapter 26

"I've never dealt with these kinds of wounds before. Vampire venom turns a human – It's not like I've had the opportunity to treat a shapeshifter before." Carlisle's voice was calm but I heard the tension and worry underneath it. Even in my drowsy state it was not hard to feel the tension in my small room. Without opening my eyes I could hear the heartbeats of my pack brothers and could certainly smell the sweetness of Carlisle and some other vampire in the room with us.

"I can understand that, Carlisle but we appreciate all you can do. I won't lose one of my pack. I'm sure you can understand that." Sam's voice was hard – grave even. I'd never heard him sound like this before.

"Of course," Carlisle murmured quietly. "Leilani is as good as our family as well. All of you are."

Someone sighed.

My thoughts returned back into myself and I mentally took inventory of my body. I felt like shit. I wasn't quite ready to wake up yet and I held still, concentrating on breathing first. There was pain in my shoulder still (significant pain) and without touching my skin I knew there must be significant damage to my torso. The uncomfortable tautness of my skin as I breathed let me know that there was something different about my skin, like there wasn't quite enough to cover my stomach anymore. Dread overcame me and I struggled to keep my heart beat even.

"She's awake." I heard Edward murmur quietly to Carlisle.

I mentally grimaced and squinted as I slowly opened my eyes to my dimly lit room. I felt Carlisle move to my side silently and his cool fingers ran lightly over my forehead.

"Leilani, try not to move too much."

The muffled moan must have come from me, though it sounded far away. As my eyes adjusted to the light and I looked around my room I found that it was only Edward, Carlisle, Sam and a jittery looking Seth in the room. My senses weren't in the best shape obviously.

Carlisle's deft medical fingers were feather light against my shoulder wound as he went to work. Edward looked on from behind, sparing one of his more comforting smiles.

"I look that bad, huh?" I croaked, flinching slightly as Carlisle brushed a particularly sensitive part of my shoulder.

"Not at all. I just don't have the stomach for blood and guts." Edward said, chuckling. I appreciated his light humour and managed a weak smile in return.

Sam had made his way to my side then, a comforting hand on my own. I'd never been particularly close to Sam and to see him being "comforting" seemed odd. In any other situation I probably would have laughed and made a joke but now not only seemed the most inappropriate time, but his mere presence bought comfort to me. I immediately thought of Jacob then. Why was he not here with me?

"He wouldn't leave anyone but Sam with you." Edward said, answering my thoughts.

Memories of what happened washed over me and I almost passed out again as the face of the one named Josh pushed through the forefront of my mind. Had that really happened? It was almost too horrifying to believe. My heart palpitations started up again and tears begun to sting at the corners of my eyes. As Carlisle pulled back, concern knitted across his brow.

"Where is he?" I choked out suddenly, looking desperately at Sam and then Edward.

Seth looked like he was about to be sick too and he gave me one apologetic look before slipping out the door. Carlisle sighed and looked up to Sam. They seemed to share a look that communicated a lot more than I knew.

"Jacob will be back soon. He had some things to sort out." Edward said, answering my question.

"My parents? Ben?" What was keeping them away? They would be here if they could so there must be something else going on.

"You need to rest before you start worrying about everyone. Your parents are safe. We're keeping them over at Billy's for the night. Ben is with Jacob. They'll explain everything when they get back."

My stomach fell away and I knew then that they were out in the forest looking for the ones that had taken me. Didn't they know how dangerous they were? Visions of Jacob and Ben locked in a physical battle with the bloodsuckers was too upsetting to imagine and I panicked immediately.

"You let me go out there by themselves?!" I hissed.

"Leilani-"

"Get them back here, Sam. Get them back here now!" I had attempted to sit up automatically and I sobbed involuntarily as the pain shot up through my abdomen and into my shoulder. Carlisle was at my side in a second, giving Sam a hard stare.

"Please don't upset her. She's in no state to be dealing with this so soon. Please Sam. Do as she asks. Let Edward and I try and assist her with the pain."

I was crying now, breathing heavily and panicked by the thought of my brother and Jacob out somewhere fighting the unknown force that had completely overwhelmed me. I wouldn't let them get hurt. I refused. My wounds were inconsequential at this moment in time. The pain was a dull ache at the back of my mind. All I cared about was that Ben and Jacob were right here next to me where I knew they were safe. I didn't bother to question the fact that comparing my own strength to theirs was completely irrelevant. My more rational state of mind would have concluded that Ben and especially Jacob were far superior fighters than I but this wasn't apparent to me right now. Desperation was. I was desperate for them to be here with me, right next to me, where I knew they were safe – where I could keep an eye on them and make sure nothing and no one wanted to harm them.

Sometime during my over reaction Sam gave my hand a gentle squeeze and removed himself from my room. After that, I was only vaguely aware of Carlisle murmuring quietly to me to move this way and that and asking me how I was feeling at 5 minute intervals. Edward continued to look apologetic, while muttering quietly to Carlisle about treatment (of which I mostly blocked out).

On my desk Carlisle had made a small workstation for himself, which seemed to hold a pile of papers and his medicine bag. He moved between my bed and the desk constantly throughout the night, muttering to himself and to Edward, medical terms I'd never heard before. I grew drowsy after a while and Edward turned to smile reassuringly.

"Feeling okay?"

I sighed. "Yes. Stop asking."

He chuckled and stood, grinning. "Sorry. Better to double check. Jacob is going to kill me if he gets up here and you've got so much as an itch on your big toe."

"He's here?" I asked eagerly, ignoring the joke completely.

Edward nodded and moved towards the door. "He's outside. He'll be here in about 30 seconds."

Carlisle gave me one more quick once over and squeezed my hand gently. "Yell immediately if you need anything. I'll be just downstairs with Edward."

I smiled slightly and nodded. "Thank you, Carlisle. For everything."

"I'm pleased to help. We can talk more about your condition when you've seen Jacob." His voice was heavy with concern and I nodded silently as he left my room. I heard him murmur quietly to Jacob outside my door and then he was there. My Jacob – standing at my doorway looking haggard and worried and... horrible. Had I caused this unhappiness in him? Surely, I had.

My hands stretched out to him of their own accord and I felt tears again. "Come here." I choked out, wiping at my tears quickly. He was at my side in seconds pulling back my blankets carefully. He slid in next to me very carefully and without realising I let out a long, contented sigh. When he cupped my face in his hands, the look in his eyes was so full of affection, love, fondness and warmth, mixed with worry and anxiousness that I wanted to bawl.

When his lips touched mine, I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, willing the sensation of his mouth to cement itself in my memory. "I'm sorry." I whimpered, unsure exactly what I was apologising for - For worrying him, for being stupid and fighting alone, for getting caught, for getting myself hurt, for putting him in danger. "I'm sorry", didn't sound like enough.

"Don't ever say that. None of this was your fault." He whispered back fiercely as he stroked my cheek gently with his fingers. "I can't believe I let that happen to you." He said miserably. The anguish in his voice almost broke my heart.

"This was _my_ fault, Jacob."

"No, Lani." His voice was hard. Harder than Sam's had been when I had heard him talking to Carlisle. Power exuded from his assertion. "I should have been there to protect you. I should have seen this coming." His voice took on a distant tone then. "But I won't let it happen again. We'll take care of them."

I'd never heard Jacob sound so resolved. It was almost frightening to hear the utter sureness in his voice.

"You can't honestly believe you could have predicted what happened. It happened but it's over now. I'm here. I'm alive. We'll take care of them together."

His face had become emotionless then and he shook his head slowly. The dread came back again as I felt anxiety creep back into my heart. The way his hands dropped from my face left me feeling cold and suddenly there was a gaping chasm between him and I even though he still sat against my side.

"No. I won't let you go back out there until the pack sorts this out. Your parents agree. They're taking you back to Manoa until this blows over."

I blinked, shocked.

I had misheard, surely.

"You can't be serious." I whispered.

"I am, Lani. Your dad's already started making the arrangements. Until we kill those-" He broke off for a moment, his face contorting into a picture of rage. It took him another moment to rearrange his features and calm down before he continued.

"Until we take care of it, I want you as far away from here as possible."

Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.

I had to remember to breathe. I stared down at my hands as I clasped them together, my fingernails digging into my palms as I squeezed a little too tightly. Primarily, I was angry at the fact that he thought the best path of action was to send me away. Secondly, I was angry because I knew for a fact that the Jacob I knew would never have sent me away. This wasn't how Jacob operated so something else had to have spurred it on. My suspicions immediately went to Ben and my parents. They had put him up to this. Put the guilt on him so that he felt compelled to encourage me to leave because they knew that I would only be forced to leave with them if Jacob was for it as well. Well, fuck that.

"You're sending me away when I need you the most. I can _help_, Jake. I'm safer with the pack and the coven. You _know_ that." I was desperate now, tears flowing freely yet again.

"You're safer in Hawaii, miles away from danger. Seth has offered to go with you until this is over. The Cullens' want to send one of their own too. They're not sure who yet."

"Seth? The Cullens'?!" I hissed. "I don't _want_ one of them to come with me, Jacob. You know that the pack can't leave La Push! The same with the Cullens'! They'd never leave their family! Ben and I will be-"

I paused, watching his expression. My eyes grew wide with even more disbelief.

"I can't believe this. He's staying? Ben would stay?" I shook my head slowly, closing my eyes. "Why, Jacob? I won't let you do this. Separating us is the worst idea-"

He sighed loudly.

"It's already decided, Lani. Try to understand... if anything happened to you again I would _never_ forgive myself." The look on his face was enough to silence me - That look of misery again. Of utter bereavement.

I wouldn't let this go but for now, I just wanted to be wrapped in him - In my sun. The misery on Jake's face was so much that I pulled him to me, kissing him fiercely. The following ten minutes continued much like this until the stabs of pain throughout my body were too much and I pulled his arms around me tightly burying my face in his chest as I drifted drowsily.

"I love you, Jacob. More than anything." I murmured quietly. Slumber coaxed my eyes closed.

I realised later that I did not hear him reply before I fell asleep.


End file.
